The first time having intercourse, the condom became soft?
During my student years, I often watched adult animations and masturbated.
However, when I actually saw a naked woman, I didn't feel much.
But holding hands and hugging naturally triggered a reaction.
Then, when I put on a condom, I lost my erection.
After that, I couldn't get hard again, and two days later, when I tried to masturbate, I found it difficult to achieve an erection.
Even when I did manage to get hard, there wasn't much pleasure.
If I distracted myself with other thoughts, I would lose my erection and ejaculate before I was fully hard.
Is this a psychological issue?
Mr. Wang, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/02/21
Dr. Liu Mingyue reply Urology
Hello: This seems to be a psychological issue.
Long-term arousal from images or situations for the purpose of masturbation may have altered the mechanisms that induce and maintain erections.
It is important to start by changing habits, and to maintain overall health, including weight management and diet, as well as engaging in moderate exercise.
It is possible to restore normal function.
Wishing you good health.
Reply Date: 2021/02/21
More Info
Erectile dysfunction (ED) can be a complex issue, and your experience with condoms and arousal is not uncommon. It’s important to understand that both psychological and physiological factors can contribute to erectile difficulties, especially in younger individuals or those who may have certain expectations or anxieties surrounding sexual performance.
Psychological Factors
1. Performance Anxiety: One of the most common psychological factors affecting erectile function is performance anxiety. This occurs when an individual feels pressure to perform sexually, which can lead to stress and anxiety. The fear of not being able to maintain an erection can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, where the anxiety itself prevents arousal. If you find that you are more aroused when not using a condom, it may be that the added pressure of using one is causing you to feel anxious, leading to difficulties in achieving or maintaining an erection.
2. Conditioning and Expectations: If you have conditioned yourself to respond to certain stimuli (like watching adult films), your body may have developed a specific response pattern that does not translate well to real-life sexual encounters. The disconnect between fantasy and reality can lead to difficulties when faced with actual sexual situations. When you wear a condom, it may feel different than what you are used to, which can affect your arousal and performance.
3. Distraction and Focus: As you mentioned, if your mind wanders or you start thinking about other things, it can lead to a loss of erection. This is a common experience and can be exacerbated by anxiety about performance or concerns about the sexual experience itself. The mind plays a significant role in sexual arousal, and distractions can easily derail the process.
4. Body Image and Self-Esteem: How you perceive yourself in a sexual context can also impact your ability to maintain an erection. If you have doubts about your attractiveness or sexual prowess, these feelings can manifest physically. This is particularly relevant if you feel pressure to meet certain standards or expectations during sexual encounters.
Physiological Factors
While your situation seems primarily psychological, it’s important to acknowledge that physiological factors can also play a role. For example, hormonal imbalances, medical conditions, or even the side effects of certain medications can contribute to erectile dysfunction. However, given your description, it seems more likely that psychological factors are at play.
Recommendations
1. Open Communication: If you are in a relationship, discussing your feelings and experiences with your partner can help alleviate some of the pressure you may feel. Open communication can foster intimacy and understanding, which may help reduce anxiety.
2. Gradual Exposure: If using condoms is a source of anxiety, consider gradually introducing them into your sexual experiences. Start by using them during foreplay or masturbation to become more accustomed to the sensation without the pressure of performance.
3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present during sexual encounters, reducing anxiety and improving your ability to maintain an erection. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or focusing on physical sensations can enhance your experience.
4. Consult a Professional: If these issues persist, it may be beneficial to speak with a healthcare professional or a therapist who specializes in sexual health. They can provide tailored advice and strategies to help you navigate these challenges.
In conclusion, the issues you are experiencing with erectile function while using condoms are likely rooted in psychological factors such as performance anxiety, conditioning, and distraction. By addressing these issues through communication, gradual exposure, and mindfulness techniques, you may find improvements in your sexual experiences. If the problem continues, seeking professional help can provide additional support and guidance.
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