Emotional instability, paranoid delusions?
Hello, doctor.
I'm currently in the first year of junior high and I have some issues I'd like to ask about.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me...
I've lacked confidence in my appearance since I was young.
I go to school alone every day and often feel like the people around me are laughing at me.
When I see someone in class talking to others and looking my way, I assume they are saying bad things about me.
When I'm with my friends, sometimes they whisper, and I feel like they are hiding something from me or talking negatively about me.
Whenever I go out with others, I keep my phone close and feel insecure without a jacket, fearing that I might be attacked from behind.
At home, I also spend a lot of time on my phone, and I sense that my family is quite dissatisfied with my behavior.
When they are chatting, I don't know how to join the conversation, so I just keep looking at my phone, but I'm afraid they think I'm not integrating into the family, that I'm addicted to my phone, and that they might dislike me.
Sometimes at night, I suddenly start crying for no reason, and after crying, I get angry and start to hate myself, feeling useless.
At school, I sometimes experience sudden mood drops and take my anger out on my friends, but a few minutes later, I start to hate myself for having lost my temper with them and feel very sorry for my actions.
Doctor, what do you think is wrong with me? Or am I just overthinking things...?
Yizhen, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/03/14
Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello Yi-Chen: Based on your description, you want to change and feel that many of your worries are unreasonable.
Your phone has become a form of escape.
However, avoidance does not solve problems and, in the long run, does not truly relieve stress.
Change is possible; it may be a bit challenging at first, but try to live earnestly and face the various aspects of life with courage.
Although you may not perform well initially, your abilities will typically grow with accumulated experience.
When you are alone, remember to cherish and encourage yourself.
When spending time with family, focus on the present moment.
It’s okay if you don’t know how to respond; simply being present and listening attentively shows that you value your family’s presence.
Non-verbal communication can often be more powerful than words.
I also suggest that you express your concerns clearly to your parents, allowing them to support you.
Wishing you all the best.
Reply Date: 2021/03/14
More Info
It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to share your feelings and experiences. What you are describing—feelings of paranoia, emotional instability, and self-doubt—can be quite common during adolescence, a period marked by significant physical, emotional, and social changes. However, it is essential to understand that these feelings can also indicate underlying issues that may require attention.
Firstly, the feelings of paranoia you experience, such as believing that others are laughing at you or talking about you behind your back, can stem from low self-esteem and anxiety. Adolescents often become highly self-conscious, especially regarding their appearance and how they are perceived by peers. This heightened sensitivity can lead to misinterpretations of social interactions, where you might perceive neutral or benign behaviors as negative or hostile.
Your description of feeling unsafe and needing to keep your phone close by suggests a level of anxiety that can be overwhelming. Many adolescents experience social anxiety, which can manifest as a fear of judgment or rejection in social situations. This anxiety can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as isolating yourself or feeling uncomfortable in social settings, which can further exacerbate feelings of loneliness and self-doubt.
The emotional fluctuations you mentioned, such as sudden crying spells followed by anger towards yourself, are also common during adolescence. Hormonal changes can contribute to mood swings, but emotional instability can also be linked to stress, unresolved feelings, or even depression. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are valid and that you are not alone in experiencing them.
Your concern about your family's perception of your behavior, such as being on your phone too much, reflects a common struggle among adolescents trying to balance their social lives with family dynamics. It’s understandable to feel disconnected from family conversations, especially if you are preoccupied with your thoughts or feelings. However, it’s crucial to communicate with your family about how you feel. They may not realize the extent of your struggles, and opening up could foster a more supportive environment.
Given the complexity of your feelings, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or counselor, can provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions and develop coping strategies. Therapy can help you understand the root of your feelings, improve your self-esteem, and learn how to manage anxiety and emotional instability.
In the meantime, here are some strategies you might find helpful:
1. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide an outlet for your emotions and help you process what you are experiencing.
2. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation.
3. Social Support: Try to reach out to friends or family members you trust. Sharing your feelings with someone who understands can alleviate feelings of isolation.
4. Limit Social Media Use: If you find that social media increases your anxiety or feelings of inadequacy, consider taking breaks or limiting your time on these platforms.
5. Physical Activity: Engaging in regular exercise can improve mood and reduce anxiety. It’s a great way to release pent-up energy and stress.
6. Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to talk to a school counselor or a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your needs.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking that step can lead to significant improvements in your emotional well-being. You deserve to feel supported and understood as you navigate this challenging time in your life.
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