Inability to achieve penetration during sexual intercourse?
Hello, doctor.
I am a virgin, and when I try to have intercourse with my boyfriend, he is unable to penetrate my vaginal opening.
I have also had an internal examination by a doctor, who said my vagina is normal and prescribed a numbing cream for me to apply to the vaginal opening, but penetration is still not possible.
I researched online and found suggestions to practice with my fingers.
When I insert my fingers, I feel a hard area near the entrance of the vagina (closer to the urethra), but it doesn't hurt.
Is this bone? My fingers need to be slightly bent to enter comfortably; is this normal? I also found recommendations for desensitization exercises for vaginal spasms.
Would this help with vaginal dilation and allow for successful penetration? Thank you for your response.
Zhenzhen, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/10/28
Dr. Huang Yiwen reply Obstetrics and Gynecology
Hello, Miss Zhen Zhen: The hard area you feel at the front of the vagina is the pubic bone.
The anatomical position of the vagina naturally curves downward after the initial entry.
The desensitization exercises for vaginal spasms recommended online can help with vaginal relaxation, which is beneficial for smooth sexual intercourse.
Generally, both partners may not find their initial sexual experiences very satisfying, but as they relax and become more familiar with each other, things will improve, and there is no need to worry too much.
Reply Date: 2021/10/28
More Info
Understanding difficulties with vaginal entry can be a complex issue that involves both physical and psychological factors. It’s important to approach this topic with sensitivity and an understanding of the various elements that may contribute to the challenges you are experiencing.
Firstly, it’s essential to recognize that the anatomy of the vagina is designed to accommodate penetration, but individual variations exist. The vaginal canal is a muscular structure that can expand and contract. If you are experiencing difficulty with penetration, it could be due to several reasons, including physical tension, anxiety, or a lack of adequate arousal.
One common issue is vaginismus, which is an involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina. This can make penetration painful or impossible. If you are feeling tense or anxious about the act of penetration, this can exacerbate the issue. The use of a topical anesthetic, as prescribed by your doctor, may help reduce discomfort, but it does not address the underlying causes of tension or anxiety.
Regarding the hard area you mentioned near the urethra, it is likely not a bone but rather the pelvic floor muscles or connective tissue. The vagina is surrounded by various muscles, and some individuals may feel more tension or tightness in certain areas. It’s normal for the vaginal canal to feel firm or tight, especially if you are not fully relaxed or aroused.
Practicing with your fingers can be a helpful way to become more familiar with your anatomy and to learn how to relax your pelvic floor muscles. When inserting your fingers, try to do so gently and at a pace that feels comfortable for you. If you feel any discomfort, it’s important to stop and take a moment to breathe and relax. Gradually increasing the depth of penetration can help your body adjust.
Desensitization exercises, as you mentioned, can also be beneficial. These exercises typically involve gradually increasing the size of the object being inserted (starting with fingers and potentially moving to larger objects like vaginal dilators) to help your body become accustomed to the sensation of penetration. This can help reduce anxiety and increase comfort over time.
Additionally, communication with your partner is crucial. Discussing your feelings, fears, and experiences can help both of you feel more connected and relaxed during intimate moments. It may also be helpful to explore other forms of intimacy that do not involve penetration, allowing you to build comfort and trust with your partner.
If these self-help strategies do not lead to improvement, it may be beneficial to consult with a healthcare professional who specializes in sexual health or pelvic floor therapy. They can provide tailored guidance and support, including physical therapy techniques to help relax the pelvic floor muscles and improve your comfort with penetration.
In summary, difficulties with vaginal entry can stem from a variety of factors, including physical tension, anxiety, and individual anatomical differences. Practicing relaxation techniques, engaging in desensitization exercises, and maintaining open communication with your partner can all contribute to a more positive experience. If challenges persist, seeking professional guidance can provide additional support and solutions. Remember, you are not alone in this experience, and many individuals face similar challenges.
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