The feasibility of relationships between patients?
I am a long-term psychiatric patient with a chronic prescription.
A few years ago, my ex-boyfriend committed suicide, and I spent a lot of time recovering from that.
Recently, my boyfriend, who I have been in a long-distance relationship with, suddenly confessed that he has been spending the past week lying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, and sleeping, except for eating and attending gym classes.
I am very worried about him, but he is more concerned about his pride and feeling embarrassed.
I tried to encourage him to express his anxiety and worries, but he refused.
I became increasingly anxious and suggested that I talk to his family about his situation, which made him so angry that he slammed the table.
In the end, I did not inform his family.
The next day, we communicated about this.
He said he just wanted someone to listen to him, not to provide solutions, which made him even more upset.
Additionally, he feels that our conversations drain his energy, even though he was the one who encouraged me to share my thoughts with him.
I reminded him of my past experiences and expressed that I believe he needs assistance in his current situation.
We agreed to learn about psychology and mental health together.
I also emphasized that I have always been very careful not to date patients to avoid mutual burden.
Even though we have had peaceful communication, I can't help but fear that my life will repeat itself.
I would like to ask the doctor: (1) Is it possible for patients and potential patients to establish a mutually beneficial relationship? (2) Where should I set the boundary for self-preservation? Thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
Xiao Cao, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/05/12
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
(1) Is it possible for patients and potential patients to establish a mutually beneficial relationship? A: Absolutely, it's possible.
One shouldn't feel different from others just because they are ill; being sick is just a part of life, not the entirety of it.
(2) Where should the stop-loss point be set? A: I do not understand what is meant by the stop-loss point.
Dr.
Wu Enliang
Reply Date: 2022/05/12
More Info
Navigating relationships in the context of mental health can be complex and challenging, especially when both partners have their own mental health struggles. Your situation highlights the delicate balance between providing support and maintaining personal well-being. Let's address your questions one by one.
(1) Can Patients Support Each Other?
Yes, patients can indeed support each other, and in many cases, they can foster mutual growth. When individuals with similar experiences come together, they can create a unique bond based on understanding and empathy. This shared experience can lead to a supportive environment where both parties feel less isolated in their struggles.
However, it is essential to recognize that while mutual support can be beneficial, it can also pose risks. Both partners may inadvertently trigger each other's symptoms or reinforce negative thought patterns. Therefore, it is crucial to establish boundaries and maintain open communication about each other's needs and limitations.
In your case, you have already taken significant steps by discussing your experiences and agreeing to learn about mental health together. This proactive approach can help both of you gain insights into your conditions and develop healthier coping strategies. It is also important to remember that while you can provide support, you are not a substitute for professional help. Encouraging your partner to seek therapy or counseling can be a vital step in ensuring that both of you have access to the necessary resources for recovery.
(2) Where Should the "Stop-Loss" Point Be Set?
The concept of a "stop-loss" point in relationships, particularly those involving mental health challenges, refers to recognizing when the relationship may be causing more harm than good. This can be a difficult decision, as it involves weighing the potential for mutual support against the risk of emotional distress.
Here are some indicators that might help you determine your stop-loss point:
1. Emotional Drain: If you find that interactions with your partner consistently leave you feeling drained, anxious, or overwhelmed, it may be time to reassess the relationship dynamics. Healthy relationships should provide support, not deplete your emotional resources.
2. Lack of Progress: If both of you are stuck in negative patterns without any signs of improvement, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is hindering your individual growth. Sometimes, stepping back can allow both partners to focus on their personal healing.
3. Increased Symptoms: If your partner's struggles are exacerbating your own mental health issues, it is crucial to prioritize your well-being. This might mean setting boundaries around discussions or interactions that trigger distress.
4. Professional Guidance: Seeking the advice of a mental health professional can provide valuable insights into your relationship dynamics. A therapist can help you both navigate your feelings and determine the best course of action.
5. Communication: Regularly check in with each other about how you both feel in the relationship. Open and honest communication can help identify any issues before they escalate.
In conclusion, while it is possible for patients to support each other, it is essential to approach this dynamic with caution and awareness. Establishing boundaries, maintaining open communication, and prioritizing professional help are crucial components of a healthy relationship in the context of mental health. Remember, taking care of your own mental health is not selfish; it is necessary for being able to support others effectively.
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