Conflicting Messages from Psychiatrists: Trust Issues in Therapy - Psychiatry

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Do doctors have conflicting opinions?


I went for a self-paid consultation, and the doctor told me it wasn't my fault and that he didn't think I had any issues.
He said my parents were unwilling to admit their mistakes due to pride, which led to my suicidal thoughts.
He mentioned he would talk to them, but they probably still wouldn't acknowledge their wrongdoings.
During today's argument, I realized that he seems to have a different narrative for my parents, as they claimed the doctor didn't say the same things to them and it seemed to shift the blame onto me.
I don't know what he actually told them since we shared our stories separately.
How can I trust that the doctor is being impartial? Should I record our sessions to ensure accuracy?
Additionally, when I was in counseling, he wasn't very patient in listening to me.
He often jumped around, asking unrelated questions before I could finish my thoughts.
I've read some books, and he clearly wasn't practicing active listening, so how could he truly understand me? Or is he just giving us lip service, saying what both sides want to hear? I'm increasingly filled with resentment.
Why can my parents help others push me towards death while simultaneously trying to bury me alive? What did I do wrong? It's bad enough to be bullied by outsiders, but to have my own parents add to my suffering is unbearable.
Why do I have to have parents like this?
Maybe it's unfilial to say this, but I didn't choose to be born; they did! If they only wanted a son, one would have been enough.
Why bring me into this world just to mistreat me? I wish I could swap parents for a family that would treat me well.
I don't want these parents anymore.
But I know that's impossible...
The only way to completely sever ties with them would be to die.
I wish I could forget who they are forever.
I hope to erase all memories related to them...
Is hypnosis capable of that? I'm filled with so much resentment!

Ke, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/11/09

Dr. Lin Yanhong reply Psychiatry


Hello: Do doctors have conflicting statements? This is the title of your question, and I am unsure how to respond.
Sometimes, what a physician discusses with a patient may become distorted or altered when the patient speaks to another related party due to various factors.
Regardless, when both parties agree, there should be an initial individual consultation without immediate judgments or relaying of information.
I am not sure how many times you have met, or if there is an opportunity for a joint consultation.
Facing issues together is crucial, especially if the physician is employing family therapy, which should focus on resolving conflicts among family members rather than fostering more suspicion.

In any case, perhaps you have not yet entered the phase of joint consultations, but I believe there will be an opportunity for that.
Of course, your physician should be qualified and experienced.
You harbor deep resentment towards your parents, and I believe there are indeed some self-righteous parents who impose their values on their children, forcing them to comply or listen.
However, many situations have multiple perspectives.
Do you also view your parents through your own value system? Many things can be exchanged, but parents cannot be replaced.
Finding ways for everyone to understand each other, guided by a professional, can help improve your relationship.
This therapeutic process takes time, but if you feel that the therapy is not prompting any reflection, it may be wise to consider changing therapists.
Dr.
Lin

Reply Date: 2003/11/09

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of distress and confusion regarding your therapy and the messages you are receiving from your psychiatrist. Trust issues in therapy can be incredibly challenging, especially when conflicting messages arise. It’s important to address these feelings and concerns, as they can impact your therapeutic journey and overall mental health.

First, let’s discuss the nature of trust in the therapeutic relationship. Trust is a fundamental component of effective therapy. When you feel that your psychiatrist is not being transparent or consistent in their communication, it can lead to feelings of betrayal and frustration. It’s essential to have a therapist who listens attentively and validates your experiences. If you feel that your psychiatrist is not doing this, it may be beneficial to express your concerns directly to them. Open communication can sometimes clarify misunderstandings and help rebuild trust.

Regarding the conflicting messages you received, it’s not uncommon for therapists to have different perspectives based on the information they gather from various sources. However, it is crucial that these perspectives do not undermine your feelings or experiences. If your psychiatrist has shared information with your parents that seems to contradict what they communicated to you, this can understandably lead to feelings of confusion and mistrust. It’s important to remember that you have the right to understand your treatment and the rationale behind your psychiatrist's statements.

If you feel comfortable, consider requesting a joint session with your psychiatrist and your parents. This can provide an opportunity for everyone to discuss their perspectives openly and work towards a shared understanding. However, this should only be pursued if you feel safe and supported in doing so.

In terms of your feelings towards your parents, it’s clear that you are grappling with deep-seated emotions of anger and resentment. These feelings are valid, especially if you feel that your parents have not provided the support you needed. It’s important to process these emotions in a safe environment, ideally with a therapist who can help you navigate these complex feelings. While it may feel overwhelming, working through these feelings can lead to healing and a better understanding of your family dynamics.

As for your thoughts about erasing memories or using hypnosis, it’s essential to approach this topic with caution. While hypnosis can be a therapeutic tool for some, it is not a guaranteed solution for dealing with painful memories or emotions. Instead, focusing on developing coping strategies and emotional regulation skills may be more beneficial. A qualified therapist can guide you through this process, helping you to confront and process your feelings rather than attempting to erase them.

Lastly, if you continue to feel that your current psychiatrist is not meeting your needs, it may be worth considering finding a new therapist. The therapeutic relationship is crucial for effective treatment, and you deserve to work with someone who makes you feel heard, respected, and understood.

In summary, trust issues in therapy can be complex and painful. It’s important to communicate openly with your psychiatrist about your concerns, consider joint sessions with family members if appropriate, and seek a therapist who aligns with your needs. Processing your feelings towards your parents and exploring healthier coping mechanisms will also be vital in your healing journey. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are professionals who can support you through these challenges.

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