How to Support Loved Ones Facing Depression and Memory Issues

Q: How to Support Loved Ones Facing Depression and Memory Issues

Concern for Mom's "Big" Child： 1. <br>Mom is experiencing emotional changes due to poor adjustment to work-related stress, leading to anxiety combined with mild depression. <br>This has resulted in difficulties with concentration (decreased computer skills), memory impairment, in

Help me!!!

Recently, many people around me have been showing signs of depression.
My mother, who was originally a kindergarten teacher, is being transferred to a government agency where she will need to handle paperwork.
She has been worried that she won't be able to adapt, and on top of that, she has been experiencing memory decline and insomnia.
She has even forgotten the basic computer skills she previously learned.
Is this decline related to stress? She is only 44 years old! What should I do? Are there any foods that can help improve memory? How can I comfort her? I'm afraid she might lose her mind! Not long ago, a friend started expressing disturbing thoughts about harming her cat due to family and relationship issues, saying she wanted to put the cat in a thermos and even started hitting it.
How can I help her? Please tell me, aside from waiting for the problems to resolve, what can I say to comfort them with my abilities?

Danxin de xiaohai, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/11/15

Dr. Chen Mingzhe reply Psychiatry

Concern for Mom's "Big" Child: 1.
Mom is experiencing emotional changes due to poor adjustment to work-related stress, leading to anxiety combined with mild depression.
This has resulted in difficulties with concentration (decreased computer skills), memory impairment, insomnia, restlessness, significant mood swings, and negative thinking.
Please take Mom to see a psychiatrist; the treatment duration is approximately 1-3 months, and symptoms can change within 2-3 weeks with active treatment.
2.
Your dear friend is caught in Freud's psychodynamic theory, struggling with the innate four drives and aggressive instincts (impulses to harm).
Like Mom, she is also facing psychological stressors that she cannot adjust to, making it difficult to express repressed emotions, which can lead to inappropriate thoughts or impulses surfacing.
The "child" in both cases is clearly in a state of anxiety and depression, and you need to persuade them to seek treatment.
A psychiatrist is a compassionate caregiver and can provide significant help, you see? 3.
During this challenging time, having the support and companionship of family and friends is extremely important for both Mom and your friend.
I believe that your caring and considerate presence, along with treatment, will be more beneficial than any words you could say.

Reply Date: 2003/11/15

More Info

Supporting loved ones who are experiencing depression and memory issues can be a challenging yet crucial role. It’s important to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to help. Based on the concerns you've shared about your mother and friend, let’s break down some strategies and insights that can be beneficial.

Understanding the Situation
1. Recognizing Symptoms: Your mother’s symptoms, including memory decline, insomnia, and anxiety about her job transition, may indeed be linked to stress. Stress can significantly impact cognitive functions, leading to memory issues and emotional disturbances. At 44, while it may seem early for cognitive decline, stress-related issues can manifest at any age. It’s essential to approach her situation with sensitivity and encourage her to seek professional help, such as consulting a psychiatrist or psychologist.

2. Your Friend’s Disturbing Thoughts: Your friend’s violent thoughts towards her cat are alarming and indicate a serious level of distress. This behavior can be a sign of underlying mental health issues, possibly exacerbated by her emotional struggles. It’s crucial to take such statements seriously and encourage her to seek professional help immediately.

How to Help Your Mother
1. Encourage Professional Help: Gently suggest that your mother sees a mental health professional. Therapy can provide her with coping strategies and a safe space to express her feelings. Medication may also be an option if her symptoms are severe.

2. Create a Supportive Environment: Offer to help her with her transition to the new job. This could include assisting with paperwork or simply being there to listen to her concerns. Let her know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and that she’s not alone.

3. Nutrition and Memory: While no specific food can guarantee improved memory, a balanced diet rich in antioxidants, healthy fats, and vitamins can support brain health. Foods like fatty fish (rich in omega-3 fatty acids), berries, nuts, and leafy greens are beneficial. Encourage her to stay hydrated and maintain a regular eating schedule.

4. Promote Healthy Sleep Habits: Since insomnia is a concern, help her establish a calming bedtime routine. This could include activities like reading, gentle stretching, or meditation. Reducing screen time before bed can also improve sleep quality.

5. Be There for Her: Sometimes, just being present is the best support you can offer. Engage in light conversations, share enjoyable activities, or simply sit with her in silence. Your presence can be comforting.

Supporting Your Friend
1. Take Her Seriously: When someone expresses harmful thoughts, it’s vital to take them seriously. Encourage her to talk about her feelings and listen without judgment. Validate her emotions and let her know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed.

2. Encourage Professional Help: Just like with your mother, it’s important to suggest that your friend seeks help from a mental health professional. They can provide the necessary support and interventions to address her thoughts and behaviors.

3. Set Boundaries: If her behavior towards her cat escalates, it may be necessary to intervene more directly. If you feel it’s safe, you could offer to take the cat to a safe place until she gets the help she needs.

4. Check-In Regularly: Stay in touch with her and check in on how she’s doing. Regular communication can help her feel less isolated and more supported.

General Advice for Both
- Educate Yourself: Understanding depression and its effects can help you provide better support. Resources like books, articles, and reputable websites can offer valuable insights.

- Encourage Open Communication: Let both your mother and friend know that they can talk to you about their feelings without fear of judgment. Open lines of communication can foster trust and make them feel supported.

- Practice Self-Care: Supporting others can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you’re also taking care of your mental health by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

In conclusion, while you may feel helpless at times, your support can make a significant difference in your loved ones' lives. Encourage them to seek professional help, be there for them emotionally, and promote healthy habits. Remember, you are not alone in this; seeking guidance from professionals can also provide you with the tools to support them effectively.

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