Repetitive Behaviors in Aging Parents: A Mental Health Perspective

My dad is almost 70 years old?

In the past two to three years, I have noticed that my father exhibits certain fixed and repetitive behaviors that are time-sensitive.
On specific days, he repeatedly calls a few designated individuals, and if they do not answer, he continues to call persistently for a long time.
He stops during meal times, but if the task remains incomplete, he seems to harbor some resentment, so he resumes calling during breaks.
It appears that he only feels satisfied when he receives a response from them.

In family interactions, there are similar behaviors.
There are tasks that he could choose not to perform, but he seems to feel guilty if he doesn't, leading him to carry them out.
For example, he might open the door to a room, feeling uncomfortable with it being closed while others are still asleep.
He opens my bedroom door, and I pretend to be asleep.
After a while, he might close it again (he tends to peek in for a while).
If he sees me looking at him, he will open the door without hesitation, showing a hint of awkwardness.
Other behaviors resemble a desire to spy on others; he checks on people he usually contacts by looking to see if they are home, checking for their motorcycles or cars.
At home, during meal times, he often stares at others, making them feel uncomfortable, but he seems oblivious to their discomfort.
Whenever he is not engaged in a specific activity, he can be seen pacing back and forth in the stairwell, observing what family members are doing.
I have discussed these behaviors with him, but he seems to dismiss them.

He may believe that he is not engaging in any particularly outrageous behavior, but for those living under the same roof, the pressure is inexplicably high.
Several family members have reacted strongly, even expressing disdain, and I feel this has created a vicious cycle.

A Meng, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2023/03/14

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

It seems that your personality has changed somewhat in recent years.
It is advisable to seek medical attention from a psychiatrist or neurologist.
Dr.
Wu En-Liang.

Reply Date: 2023/03/14

More Info

Understanding repetitive behaviors in aging parents can be complex, particularly when these behaviors begin to affect family dynamics and emotional well-being. From your description, it appears that your father is exhibiting certain compulsive or repetitive behaviors that may be indicative of underlying mental health issues, such as anxiety or obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
As individuals age, they may experience changes in cognitive function and emotional regulation, which can manifest in various ways, including repetitive behaviors. These behaviors can serve as coping mechanisms for anxiety or discomfort. For instance, your father's need to repeatedly call certain individuals until he receives a response may stem from a fear of abandonment or a need for reassurance. This behavior can be particularly distressing for family members, as it creates a sense of pressure and obligation to respond, even when they may not be available or willing to engage.

Moreover, the behaviors you described, such as opening doors to check on family members or peering into others' homes, may reflect a heightened sense of curiosity or a need for control over his environment. This can be exacerbated by feelings of loneliness or isolation, which are common in older adults. The fact that he feels compelled to check on others or ensure that certain tasks are completed suggests an internal conflict or anxiety that he may not fully understand or be able to articulate.

It's important to recognize that these behaviors can create a cycle of stress within the family. As you mentioned, family members may react with frustration or discomfort, which can further exacerbate your father's anxiety and lead to more pronounced behaviors. This cycle can be detrimental to the emotional health of everyone involved, leading to feelings of resentment and helplessness.

To address these issues, it may be beneficial to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Here are some strategies that might help:
1. Open Communication: Encourage open dialogue within the family about the behaviors you are observing. It’s important to express how these behaviors affect you and other family members without placing blame. Using "I" statements can help convey feelings without making your father feel attacked. For example, "I feel anxious when I see you checking on others frequently."
2. Encourage Professional Help: Suggest that your father see a mental health professional for an evaluation. A psychologist or psychiatrist can help determine if there are underlying mental health issues contributing to his behaviors. They can also provide coping strategies and interventions that may help him manage his anxiety or compulsive tendencies.

3. Establish Routines: Sometimes, establishing a structured routine can help reduce anxiety in older adults. If your father has specific times for certain activities, it may help him feel more secure and less compelled to engage in repetitive behaviors.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Encourage your father to engage in mindfulness practices or relaxation techniques. Activities such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or gentle yoga can help reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation.

5. Family Support: It’s essential for family members to support one another during this time. Consider family counseling or support groups where everyone can express their feelings and learn how to cope with the stress of the situation together.

6. Limit Exposure to Triggers: If certain situations or environments trigger your father's repetitive behaviors, try to limit exposure to those triggers when possible. For example, if he feels compelled to check on others when he is alone, finding ways to keep him engaged with family members may help.

In conclusion, while repetitive behaviors in aging parents can be challenging, understanding the underlying motivations and providing support can help mitigate their impact on family dynamics. Encouraging professional help and fostering open communication within the family can lead to healthier interactions and improved emotional well-being for everyone involved.

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