Since my internship, I have become unrecognizable to myself?
In July, just the thought of going to work kept me awake at night.
I went to a beauty store to buy sleep aids, and initially, I took them.
However, I felt that taking them continuously wasn't good for my health, so I eventually stopped.
Gradually, I started experiencing insomnia again.
Every night, I couldn't sleep, and in the mornings, I felt nauseous and dizzy.
By August, I was feeling very depressed at work; my chest felt tight, and I found everything I did to be unpleasant.
Now, I unconsciously feel a sense of aversion towards the person who teaches me.
Whenever he arrives, I feel like crying, even though he hasn't done anything to me.
This month has been particularly severe; I experience this state almost every day.
During this time, I tried to consider changing my work environment, but due to school-related factors, I couldn't, which left me feeling lost about what to do.
I resist going to work every day, I can't sleep well, I'm very unhappy, and I feel particularly emotional.
Even though I've discussed this with my teacher, I don't know how to express my situation.
Throughout the discussions, no one seems to understand me; everyone tells me to hang in there, but I really can't hold on any longer.
Life feels meaningless.
The last time I took an online depression assessment, I scored 25, which matched almost all the criteria.
Now, while at work, I often sneak away to the bathroom to cry.
I want to ask if I am sick.
I used to be seen as a lively person, but now I feel depressed and unhappy every day, and I can't sleep at all.
Xiao Xuan, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2023/09/27
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Hello, I was also wondering if you might be suffering from depression.
I recommend seeking treatment at a nearby mental health facility.
Dr.
Wu Enliang.
Reply Date: 2023/09/27
More Info
It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the emotional turmoil you are experiencing. The symptoms you describe, such as insomnia, feelings of hopelessness, and a sense of detachment from your previous self, are serious and warrant attention. It’s important to recognize that you are not alone in feeling this way, and many people face similar struggles, especially in high-pressure environments like internships or new jobs.
From what you’ve shared, it seems that your mental health has been significantly affected by your current work situation. The feelings of anxiety and depression you are experiencing can be exacerbated by the pressures of a demanding internship, especially if you feel unsupported or misunderstood by those around you. The fact that you are experiencing physical symptoms, such as nausea and dizziness, alongside your emotional distress, indicates that your body is responding to the stress you are under.
First and foremost, it’s crucial to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you explore your feelings, understand the root causes of your depression, and develop coping strategies tailored to your situation. Therapy can be a safe space for you to express your emotions without judgment, and it can help you find ways to manage your stress and anxiety more effectively.
In addition to seeking professional help, there are several strategies you can implement to help cope with your feelings of depression and anxiety:
1. Establish a Routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and a sense of normalcy. Try to set regular sleep and wake times, even if you’re struggling to sleep. This can help regulate your body’s internal clock and improve your sleep quality over time.
2. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being. This could include mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga, physical exercise, or simply spending time in nature. Even small acts of self-care can make a significant difference in your mood.
3. Connect with Supportive People: Reach out to friends or family members who you feel comfortable talking to about your feelings. Sometimes, just sharing your experiences with someone who listens can alleviate some of the burden you’re carrying.
4. Limit Stressors: If possible, identify specific stressors in your work environment and see if there are ways to minimize their impact. This could involve setting boundaries, communicating your needs to your supervisor, or finding ways to take breaks when you feel overwhelmed.
5. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions. It can help you gain clarity on what you’re experiencing and identify patterns in your mood.
6. Consider Medication: If your symptoms are severe and persistent, medication may be an option to discuss with a healthcare provider. Antidepressants can be effective in managing symptoms of depression and anxiety, but they should be prescribed and monitored by a professional.
7. Educate Yourself: Understanding more about depression and anxiety can empower you to recognize your symptoms and seek appropriate help. There are many resources available, including books, articles, and support groups.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve to feel better and to have support during this difficult time. Your feelings are valid, and taking the step to reach out for help can lead you toward healing and recovery. Please prioritize your mental health and consider speaking with a professional who can help you navigate this challenging period in your life.
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