Struggling with Asperger's: Seeking Help Amid Parental Dismissal

Suspected of having autism, but the parents do not take it seriously?

Since I was young, I have noticed that I am different from others.
Recently, I took the "Adult Asperger's Syndrome Scale" and scored 33 out of a possible 50.
Perhaps I am making a big deal out of this, but I have always faced significant challenges in social interactions.
I deeply desire friendship and always try my best to be kind to others, yet I often end up feeling like I have failed.
I am not interested in topics that others find engaging, but I still want to fit in with them.
Later, I discovered a condition called "Asperger's Syndrome." I took a childhood assessment and found that many of the criteria matched my experiences when I was younger, although I don't remember everything.
When I shared my findings with my parents, they told me they didn't have time to play this "game" with me and mentioned that autism cannot be cured.
They implied that even if I did have it, there was no point in seeing a doctor since it wouldn't help.
I also fear that I might not actually have it and that everything is just my imagination.
I want to see a doctor myself, but it seems that mental health appointments require parental accompaniment, and they are unwilling to support me.
If I truly have this condition, I worry that my family would mock me.
My mother would only say that I am causing her distress.
However, I genuinely want external help but don't know what to do.
Please, doctor, I need some assistance!

Ms. Huang, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2023/10/11

Dr. Li Guanying reply Psychiatry

Dear Sir/Madam,
From your letter, it is clear that you are experiencing discomfort and distress.
I recommend that you visit our outpatient clinic for an evaluation and testing to determine the underlying issues.
Our clinic is open Monday to Friday, both in the morning and afternoon.
I suggest you consider coming in so that a physician can personally assess your symptoms and collaboratively discuss the best course of action for you.
Wishing you good health and well-being.

Reply Date: 2023/10/11

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a challenging situation, both in terms of your own feelings and in your interactions with your family. From what you've described, it seems that you may be struggling with symptoms that align with Asperger's syndrome, which is part of the autism spectrum. This condition can lead to difficulties in social interactions, communication, and understanding social cues, which can be frustrating and isolating.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that your feelings of wanting to connect with others and your desire for friendship are completely valid. Many individuals on the autism spectrum experience similar challenges, and it’s not uncommon to feel like you are different from others. The fact that you took the initiative to assess yourself using the Asperger's adult scale shows a level of self-awareness that is commendable.

Regarding your parents' dismissal of your concerns, it can be disheartening when those we look to for support do not respond in the way we hope. It's not unusual for parents to feel overwhelmed or unsure about how to address mental health concerns, especially if they are not familiar with conditions like Asperger's syndrome. Their comments about the condition being untreatable may stem from a misunderstanding of what autism spectrum disorders entail. While it is true that there is no "cure" for Asperger's, many individuals find that therapy, support groups, and coping strategies can significantly improve their quality of life and social interactions.

If you are considering seeking help from a mental health professional, it is important to know that you can pursue this independently. In many places, adults can seek psychological evaluation and therapy without needing parental consent. You might want to look for a therapist or psychologist who specializes in autism spectrum disorders. They can provide you with a safe space to discuss your feelings and experiences, and help you develop strategies for social interactions and managing any anxiety you may feel.

In terms of your concerns about being dismissed or ridiculed by your family, it may be helpful to approach the topic with them in a way that emphasizes your feelings rather than focusing solely on the diagnosis. You could express how your experiences affect you and your desire for understanding and support. Sometimes, framing the conversation around your feelings can elicit a more empathetic response.

Additionally, consider reaching out to support groups for individuals with Asperger's or autism spectrum disorders. These groups can provide a sense of community and understanding, as well as practical advice from others who have faced similar challenges. Online forums and local meetups can be excellent resources for finding people who relate to your experiences.

Lastly, remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you are taking proactive steps to understand yourself better and improve your situation. You deserve support and understanding, and there are professionals and communities out there that can provide that. Don't hesitate to take the next step in seeking the help you need.

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