Overcoming Emotional Instability: Seeking Help After Loss and Struggles

Q: Overcoming Emotional Instability: Seeking Help After Loss and Struggles

Hello, dear： It is a normal reaction to feel longing and sadness after the loss of a loved one, and these feelings typically begin to subside within six months. <br>You were only ten years old at that time, and it took you ten years to find peace, which may be related to your inh

Emotional instability

Since my grandmother and grandfather passed away one after the other, it took me ten years to learn to let go when my grandmother died.
I was only about ten years old at that time! I haven't had a genuine smile on my face since then.
After finally coming to terms with it, my father also passed away, and I became reclusive, isolating myself at home.
I would sometimes cry uncontrollably or hurt myself by banging my head against the wall.
When I felt depressed, I even thought about suicide and attempted it once, but I stopped because I lacked the courage.
Additionally, I have been unemployed for quite some time, and whenever I face setbacks, such as failing an interview or being laid off for being unsuitable, my mood worsens.
I feel angry and want to hurt myself in various ways.
However, sometimes if someone is willing to listen to me, my emotions calm down a bit.
Should I consider seeing a doctor again? I have seen a psychiatrist before, and he prescribed medication, but I stopped taking it before finishing the course.

Wawa, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/03/23

Dr. Chen Wenyu reply Psychiatry

Hello, dear: It is a normal reaction to feel longing and sadness after the loss of a loved one, and these feelings typically begin to subside within six months.
You were only ten years old at that time, and it took you ten years to find peace, which may be related to your inherent personality traits.
Furthermore, in the years that followed, when you faced setbacks, you often resorted to negative thinking patterns and internalized self-harming psychological mechanisms to cope with problems.
Over time, this has likely led to a deep dissatisfaction with your situation, and you may have attempted to make changes.
Given your circumstances, it is essential for you to accept long-term psychological counseling and treatment from a mental health team.
In addition to medication, you particularly need professional assistance in cognitive restructuring.
A lack of patience and arbitrary interruptions in treatment are often significant reasons for the failure of mental health care.
Thank you for your letter!

Reply Date: 2004/03/23

More Info

I'm truly sorry to hear about the profound losses you've experienced and the emotional turmoil that has followed. Losing loved ones, especially close family members, can have a significant impact on one's mental health and emotional stability. It’s understandable that you’ve been struggling with feelings of sadness, isolation, and even self-harm in response to your grief and the challenges you’ve faced.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. Grief is a complex process, and everyone experiences it differently. The fact that you’ve gone through the loss of your grandmother, father, and grandfather in such a short span of time is incredibly heavy. It’s not uncommon for individuals to feel overwhelmed by grief, leading to emotional instability, withdrawal from social interactions, and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide. These feelings can be exacerbated by other stressors in life, such as unemployment or difficulties in job searching, which can further contribute to feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

Given your history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts, it is crucial to seek professional help again. While you mentioned that you had previously seen a psychiatrist and were prescribed medication, it's understandable that you may have stopped taking it. Many individuals struggle with medication adherence for various reasons, including side effects, feeling better, or simply forgetting. However, it’s important to remember that medication can be a helpful part of treatment for depression and anxiety, especially when combined with therapy.

Therapy can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and work through your grief and emotional struggles. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for addressing negative thought patterns and developing coping strategies. Additionally, talking to a therapist can help you process your grief and learn healthier ways to cope with your emotions.
You mentioned that sometimes talking to someone helps to calm your emotions. This is a significant insight into your needs. Human connection is vital for emotional healing. Whether it’s a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support group, having someone to listen to you can make a difference. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide the support you need.
If you find it difficult to engage in therapy or medication, you might also explore other supportive avenues, such as support groups for grief or mental health. These groups can provide a sense of community and understanding from others who have faced similar challenges.

In addition to seeking professional help, there are self-care strategies you can implement to help manage your emotional state. Engaging in physical activity, practicing mindfulness or meditation, maintaining a routine, and finding creative outlets for expression (like writing or art) can be beneficial.
Lastly, it’s essential to be gentle with yourself during this time. Healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have ups and downs. The journey of overcoming emotional instability and grief takes time, and seeking help is a courageous and necessary step. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are people and resources available to support you through your struggles. Please consider reaching out to a mental health professional again; your well-being is worth it.

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