Am I Experiencing Anxiety Over College Applications?

Am I suffering from a mental illness?

Hello, I recently submitted my application form, but I keep worrying that I filled it out incorrectly.
I have double-checked it several times and asked others to review it as well, yet I still fear that I will not be accepted due to a mistake in my choices (my grades qualify me for my first choice).
After submitting the application, the school codes keep replaying in my mind, and I feel like I might have made an error.
I have already taken the exam three times, and my friends say that I am already halfway through the door of my first choice, so I shouldn't overthink it.
However, I am still afraid that I won't make it through the other half.
I am very concerned that a simple mistake on the application could lead to my rejection, and this thought keeps recurring in my mind, preventing me from focusing on other things.
I have a civil service exam coming up in October, and now I find it hard to prepare.
Is there a way to stop thinking about the application? Is it because I care too much about the exam results? But it seems impossible not to care.
I keep telling myself to stop thinking about it, but it is very distressing.
I need constant reassurance from others that I didn't make a mistake on the application to alleviate my suffering, but the people around me are starting to ignore me.
I have spent three years working hard to achieve my current score; how can I possibly fail? If my name is not on the list, I don't think I can handle it.
Since childhood, I have become more anxious with simpler tasks, and I tend to make mistakes easily, so I keep double-checking even the simplest things.
When others tell me that if I fill out the application correctly, my three-year dream will come true, it adds immense pressure on me.
I really feel overwhelmed.
I want to see a psychiatrist, but I fear being diagnosed with a mental illness, which would prevent me from taking the civil service exam this year.
Even if I take it, I might not qualify for acceptance, and I would have to endure another three years of feeling like I have achieved nothing, all while dealing with the special "concern" from my parents and friends.
I don't want to live in that constant "caring gaze" anymore.

Andrew, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/07/30

Dr. Tang Xinbei reply Psychiatry

Dear Andrew,
It seems that you are quite anxious and uncertain.
It appears that your past experiences of disappointment and failure have led to a lack of confidence in yourself and a distrust of those around you.
Perhaps you are also feeling conflicted, wanting to believe in yourself and others, yet fearing the recurrence of past experiences, which leads to repetitive thoughts about the same issues.
You may not want certain things to happen, but you also struggle to trust in your own efforts, fearing that they may not be enough, and you find it hard to accept assurances from others.
You have considered seeking psychiatric help, but you worry that it might undermine your efforts.
In fact, your current condition does not seem to indicate a "mental illness" that would lead to functional decline or disconnection from reality, and it should not jeopardize your eligibility as a civil servant.
Moreover, as long as you actively engage in treatment and follow the guidelines, your situation is likely to improve quickly.
If you continue to avoid appropriate treatment, it may hinder your ability to focus on preparing for exams, which could ultimately lead to poor performance and failure.
I strongly recommend that you seek psychiatric care at a nearby facility, where professional healthcare providers can offer you a diagnostic assessment and necessary treatment.
I hope you can trust the advice I have provided.
Wishing you peace and joy!

Reply Date: 2004/07/30

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing significant anxiety related to your college applications and the pressure that comes with it. This is a common issue among students, especially those who have invested a lot of time and effort into their academic pursuits. The fear of making mistakes, such as filling out your application incorrectly, can lead to a cycle of obsessive thoughts and behaviors, which can be quite distressing.

From what you've described, it seems that your anxiety is manifesting in several ways. You are constantly checking your application, seeking reassurance from others, and feeling overwhelmed by the fear of failure. This kind of anxiety can be paralyzing and may prevent you from focusing on other important tasks, such as preparing for your upcoming civil service exam. It's important to recognize that this level of anxiety can be counterproductive and may hinder your performance rather than help it.

In the context of anxiety disorders, what you're experiencing could be classified as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or possibly obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), particularly if you find yourself engaging in compulsive checking behaviors. These conditions are characterized by excessive worry and intrusive thoughts that can disrupt daily life. It's crucial to understand that these feelings are valid and that many students face similar challenges during high-pressure situations like college applications.

To address your anxiety, here are some strategies you might find helpful:
1. Limit Checking Behaviors: Set a specific time to review your application one last time, and then commit to not checking it again. This can help reduce the compulsive urge to verify your work repeatedly.

2. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practice mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. These techniques can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety.

3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Consider seeking help from a mental health professional who specializes in CBT. This type of therapy can help you identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

4. Talk to Someone: Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Sometimes, just talking about your fears can help alleviate some of the pressure you feel.

5. Focus on What You Can Control: While you cannot control the outcome of your application, you can control your preparation for the civil service exam. Redirecting your focus to what you can actively work on may help reduce anxiety about the application process.

6. Limit Information Overload: Avoid excessive research or discussions about college applications that may heighten your anxiety. Instead, focus on positive affirmations and remind yourself of your capabilities.

7. Professional Help: If your anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, consider consulting a mental health professional. They can provide you with coping strategies and support tailored to your specific needs.

It's understandable to feel pressure, especially after investing so much time and effort into your studies. However, it's essential to take care of your mental health during this process. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve to feel supported and to navigate this challenging time with the tools you need to succeed.

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