Seeking Help: Overcoming Social Anxiety as a College Student

Q: Seeking Help: Overcoming Social Anxiety as a College Student

Hello, everyone： It's perfectly fine to be introverted and enjoy a solitary lifestyle. <br>However, if this leads to distress in daily life, it may indicate social anxiety disorder, which would require medical attention or psychological treatment. <br>Dr. <br>Wu Enliang

Please give me some advice, doctor?

Hello, Doctor.
I am currently a university student, and I have noticed some issues that I would like your advice on:
1.
Since I study in a different city, I live off-campus and rent a place.
I often find myself pressing my ear against the door to check for any sounds of other tenants turning the doorknob before I step outside.
If I hear someone coming up the stairs, I rush back into my room.
Even the sounds of motorcycles parking or laughter from passersby make me feel uneasy before I leave the building.
2.
I am very anxious about encountering classmates on the street.
After nearly three years in the same class, I still struggle to remember the faces of about a quarter of my classmates.
I have difficulty recognizing people and tend to avoid making eye contact, which leads me to speculate that they might be looking at or discussing me.
If I see a group of them, I try to avoid them, and if I can't, I pretend to be calm while worrying about my walking posture.
I often take out my phone, not to use it, but just to have something to focus on, though I worry that walking while looking at my phone might draw unwanted attention.
3.
This is the most troubling issue for me.
I have tried to overcome my social anxiety by intentionally putting myself in group situations, but each time I fail.
I watch others engage in normal conversations while I am left in awkward silence, feeling that speaking up will only highlight my embarrassment.
In clubs, I only interact with one or two people I feel comfortable with, and if they are not present, I feel extremely uncomfortable and out of place.
Even when invited to group dinners, I often end up not attending.
Since club memberships are fluid, even if I make new friends, I worry that they will bond with others and leave me behind.
This cycle has led me to doubt others' intentions.
When I see newer classmates chatting easily, I feel like I am deceiving myself, forcing myself to stay in a group for nearly three years without feeling integrated.
There always seems to be a barrier between me and others, and eventually, I withdrew from the club.
I prefer to isolate myself at home rather than go out, questioning whether my dedication to studying and obtaining certifications is merely a way to avoid social interactions.
It feels like I am using academic achievements to suppress my social anxiety.
At least if I am doing well in my studies, I don't feel completely useless.
However, these feelings of unease diminish when I am away from school, but I worry about the future and whether I will face similar challenges in teamwork situations, which leaves me feeling powerless.

On the other hand, I have no issues with one-on-one conversations, whether with acquaintances or strangers, and I have not experienced bullying, yet my social skills seem to be deteriorating.
Instead of feeling suffocated, it feels more like a fishbone stuck in my throat, troubling me.
I don't understand why I have become this way as I have grown older.
Please give me some advice, Doctor.

K, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/06/24

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

Hello, everyone: It's perfectly fine to be introverted and enjoy a solitary lifestyle.
However, if this leads to distress in daily life, it may indicate social anxiety disorder, which would require medical attention or psychological treatment.
Dr.
Wu Enliang

Reply Date: 2022/06/24

More Info

Social anxiety is a common challenge faced by many college students, and it can significantly impact your daily life, academic performance, and overall well-being. Based on your description, it seems that you are experiencing intense feelings of anxiety in social situations, which can lead to avoidance behaviors and a sense of isolation. Here are some strategies and insights that may help you navigate your social anxiety and improve your mental health.

Understanding Social Anxiety
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be scrutinized or judged by others. Symptoms can include excessive worry about embarrassing oneself, physical symptoms like sweating or trembling, and avoidance of social interactions. It’s important to recognize that you are not alone in this experience; many individuals struggle with similar feelings, especially in new environments like college.

Seeking Professional Help
One of the most effective ways to address social anxiety is to seek help from a mental health professional. A psychologist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety, as it helps individuals challenge negative thought patterns and gradually face their fears in a controlled manner.

Building Social Skills Gradually
1. Start Small: Begin by engaging in low-pressure social situations. This could be as simple as greeting a classmate or making small talk with a cashier. Gradually increase the complexity of your interactions as you become more comfortable.

2. Practice Active Listening: Focus on listening to others rather than worrying about what to say next. This can help take the pressure off you and make conversations feel more natural.

3. Join Supportive Groups: Consider joining clubs or groups that focus on shared interests rather than purely socializing. This can provide a more comfortable environment to meet new people and practice social skills.

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Incorporating mindfulness and relaxation techniques into your daily routine can help manage anxiety symptoms. Practices such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can reduce overall stress levels and improve your ability to cope with anxiety in social situations.

Challenge Negative Thoughts
It’s common for individuals with social anxiety to have distorted thoughts about how others perceive them. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself:
- What evidence do I have that supports or contradicts this thought?
- Would I think this way about a friend in a similar situation?
- What is the worst that could happen, and how likely is it?

Focus on Your Strengths
You mentioned that you excel academically. Use this strength to build your confidence. Recognize that your worth is not solely defined by your social skills. Engage in activities that highlight your strengths, whether it’s studying, participating in academic clubs, or pursuing hobbies that you enjoy.

Consider Medication
In some cases, medication may be beneficial in managing symptoms of social anxiety. Consult with a psychiatrist to discuss whether this option is appropriate for you. Medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) have been shown to be effective for many individuals with social anxiety.

Connect with Others
While it may feel daunting, try to reach out to friends or family members about your feelings. Sharing your experiences can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide you with a support system. You might also find comfort in connecting with others who have similar experiences, whether through online forums or support groups.

Conclusion
Overcoming social anxiety is a journey that takes time and effort. It’s important to be patient with yourself and recognize that progress may come in small steps. By seeking professional help, gradually exposing yourself to social situations, and utilizing coping strategies, you can work towards managing your anxiety and improving your overall quality of life. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are resources available to support you on your journey.

Similar Q&A

Overcoming Social Anxiety: A College Student's Journey to Connection

Hello Doctor, I am a college student with an introverted and shy personality. I find it difficult to engage in conversations and laugh with my classmates. When I see them having friendly discussions, I feel intimidated and fear being ridiculed. My relationships with others are no...

Dr. Chen Fengwei reply Psychiatry
Hello KK, I apologize for the delay in my response as I was unaware there was an issue. From your description, it seems that some of the problems stem from your "feelings," which may be overly sensitive and prone to negative emotions, thereby affecting your interpersona...

Overcoming Social Anxiety: A Journey from Isolation to Confidence

In elementary school, I had a good social circle in grades 1-4, but in grades 5-6, even though I participated in the dodgeball team, I was hesitant to talk to my classmates. Instead, I became good friends with the younger students. My social interactions in junior high were okay,...

Dr. Peng Liyun reply Psychiatry
Dear Sir/Madam, From your letter, I can sense the emotions and stress you are currently experiencing due to changes in your mood, thoughts, and daily life. It seems you may have been feeling down, which can significantly impact your emotional well-being and daily activities, esp...

Understanding Social Withdrawal: Overcoming Anxiety and Building Connections

I have researched online and found that my situation resembles social withdrawal disorder. I am afraid to initiate conversations and interactions with others. I fear rejection and worry about being criticized behind my back. I believe that if I take the initiative to engage with ...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello Qianqian: Your situation may indeed be related to social anxiety. It's important to be patient, as this condition has the potential to improve. You have your own goals and dreams, and you can truly appreciate and understand the hard work your mother has put in. However...

Overcoming Social Anxiety: A High School Student's Struggle

I am currently a sophomore in high school. I've been experiencing these issues since I was in seventh grade. Whenever I interact with strangers, regardless of the number of people, I feel like they are judging me, which makes me very anxious and uncomfortable. I experience d...

Dr. Song Chengxian reply Psychiatry
Hello, classmate: Your current condition is no longer just simple nervousness and shyness; it has become a psychological issue. I recommend that you seek an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as possible. I believe you can overcome this low period soon! Sincerely, Dr. Song.