Social Withdrawal: Overcoming Anxiety and Building Connections

Q: Social Withdrawal: Overcoming Anxiety and Building Connections

Hello Qianqian： Your situation may indeed be related to social anxiety. <br>It's important to be patient, as this condition has the potential to improve. <br>You have your own goals and dreams, and you can truly appreciate and understand the hard work your mother has put in. <br>

Social withdrawal disorder???

I have researched online and found that my situation resembles social withdrawal disorder.
I am afraid to initiate conversations and interactions with others.
I fear rejection and worry about being criticized behind my back.
I believe that if I take the initiative to engage with others, something bad will happen, and I am afraid of being hurt.
The only time I feel comfortable speaking is when someone approaches me first, or if I am talking to someone I trust and feel safe with, but such trustworthy individuals are few and far between.
This situation has led to me having almost no friends and has severely impacted my interpersonal relationships.
I have been struggling with this for about three to four years.
Others perceive me as very quiet, but internally, I deeply desire to make friends.
I often try to muster the courage to approach classmates and talk to them, but it always ends in failure, which makes me feel useless and helpless.
I have previously experienced social anxiety disorder, and I am unsure if social anxiety and social withdrawal disorder are the same.
The term "social anxiety disorder" was mentioned by my counselor.
I sought counseling because I often felt nervous and anxious in public places, experiencing symptoms like sweating, rapid heartbeat, nausea, and sometimes even stomach pain.
Later, I bought books on social anxiety for self-treatment, and I have improved a bit; my anxiety in public places is not as severe as before.
Now, I only experience sweating and a racing heart.
Consequently, I distanced myself from the counseling environment.
Currently, my main concern is my fear of initiating conversations and making friends.
I truly feel useless and lonely, often feeling helpless.
Now, I am in a crucial period where I need to focus on my studies.
I aspire to become a performer in the future.
I believe that even if I feel nervous and my heart races on stage in public places, there will come a day when I can overcome it, especially since I love singing.
Therefore, I want to excel in my studies to get into an art university.
However, I am struggling to manage my painful situation while facing the complexities of schoolwork.
I find it hard to concentrate on studying, especially with math assignments.
I am genuinely not in the mood to do math.
I fear that if I cannot submit my math homework, my teacher will have a lasting negative impression of me, thinking I am a bad student for not turning in assignments.

I often wish I could escape all of this and feel like no one understands my pain.
I am afraid that this situation will last a lifetime.
Sometimes, in environments where everyone is chatting, I wonder if dying would free me from the pain of social anxiety and loneliness, as well as from the burden of schoolwork.
My single mother struggles to support me; she even wakes up early to deliver goat milk and works at a lumber company until around six in the evening.
I think that if I were gone, it might lessen her burden, but I also fear that my death would traumatize her...

Qianqian, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/07/17

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello Qianqian: Your situation may indeed be related to social anxiety.
It's important to be patient, as this condition has the potential to improve.
You have your own goals and dreams, and you can truly appreciate and understand the hard work your mother has put in.
However, prolonged anxiety and frustration may also lead to feelings of depression and pessimism.
The heavy and monotonous academic workload during high school is temporary, and once you enter college, you will have much more freedom.
Taking good care of yourself is the best way to repay your mother.
You have the motivation to change in social situations, but you are also afraid of not performing well.
Success is actually the accumulation of failures; as long as you are not afraid of failing and continue to practice and learn, you should gradually see improvement.
I suggest that during social interactions, focus your attention on the other person, actively listen, and understand their expressions, which will allow for more natural responses.
If you keep worrying about how well you are performing or what to say next, it can lead to increased anxiety.
If you continue to feel troubled, I recommend seeking medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2017/07/17

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of distress due to social withdrawal and anxiety, which can be incredibly challenging to navigate. Your feelings of fear regarding social interactions, the anxiety that arises in public settings, and the overwhelming sense of loneliness are all symptoms that many people with social anxiety disorder (SAD) face. It’s important to recognize that you are not alone in this experience, and there are ways to address these feelings and improve your situation.

Social anxiety disorder and social withdrawal can often overlap, but they are not exactly the same. Social anxiety disorder is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one might be judged or scrutinized by others, leading to avoidance behaviors. On the other hand, social withdrawal can be a broader term that encompasses a reluctance to engage in social interactions, often stemming from feelings of inadequacy or fear of rejection. Both conditions can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which you have described.

The first step in overcoming these feelings is to acknowledge them and understand that they are valid. It’s commendable that you have sought out resources, such as books on social anxiety, and have taken steps to self-treat. This shows a level of self-awareness and a desire to improve your situation. However, it’s also crucial to seek professional help if you haven’t already. A mental health professional can provide you with tailored strategies and support that can help you navigate your feelings and develop coping mechanisms.

Here are some strategies that might help you in overcoming social anxiety and building connections:
1. Gradual Exposure: Start small by setting achievable social goals. For instance, you could aim to initiate a brief conversation with a classmate or participate in a group discussion. Gradually increasing your exposure to social situations can help desensitize you to the anxiety associated with them.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This form of therapy is particularly effective for social anxiety. It helps you identify and challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs about social interactions. A therapist can guide you through this process, helping you reframe your thoughts and reduce anxiety.

3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or deep-breathing exercises can help you manage anxiety symptoms in the moment. These techniques can ground you and provide a sense of calm when faced with stressful situations.

4. Building a Support Network: While it may feel difficult, try to connect with others who understand what you’re going through. This could be through support groups, online forums, or even clubs that focus on your interests, such as singing or performing arts. Finding like-minded individuals can help you feel less isolated.

5. Focus on Your Strengths: You mentioned a desire to become a performer and your love for singing. Channeling your energy into your passions can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Consider joining a choir or a drama club where you can express yourself in a supportive environment.

6. Academic Support: If you’re feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork, especially in subjects like math, consider seeking help from a tutor or a classmate. Breaking down assignments into smaller, manageable tasks can also reduce anxiety about completing them.

7. Talk to Someone You Trust: Sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member can provide relief. They may offer support, encouragement, or even accompany you in social situations to help ease your anxiety.

8. Professional Help: As mentioned earlier, consulting with a mental health professional can be invaluable. They can provide you with coping strategies and, if necessary, discuss medication options that can help alleviate symptoms of anxiety.

Lastly, it’s essential to remember that your life has value, and your feelings matter. The thoughts of wanting to escape or feeling like a burden are serious and should be addressed with care. If you ever feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to a trusted individual or a mental health professional immediately. You deserve support and help in navigating these feelings.

In conclusion, overcoming social anxiety and building connections takes time and patience. Celebrate small victories along the way, and remember that seeking help is a sign of strength. You are not alone in this journey, and with the right support and strategies, you can work towards a more fulfilling social life.

Similar Q&A

Overcoming Social Anxiety: Strategies for Rebuilding Connections and Confidence

I used to be a very outgoing person, but during my educational journey, certain experiences with classmates caused me to become increasingly withdrawn. Now, I have become accustomed to this personality and am very sensitive to the feelings of others. I often sense when people are...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello Nana: Life is not perfect, and everyone has to carry some imperfections as they continue to live. Let the past be the past; every moment can be a fresh start. Engage in positive actions that promote your growth and improvement. Don't give up; with gradual accumulation,...

Overcoming Anxiety and Isolation: A Journey Through Mental Health Struggles

Since childhood, my home has been filled with chaos and conflict (a typical violent family), with very few peaceful days. After the second year of junior high, I became the only child at home (my older brother passed away). I have always been introverted and accustomed to solitud...

Dr. Wang Zhenyang reply Psychiatry
Hello, Miss: It appears that you are experiencing significant symptoms of anxiety and difficulties in interpersonal relationships. The background you mentioned in your letter suggests that you may not have had a sufficiently secure attachment during childhood, which has led to ch...

Understanding Social Withdrawal: Insights from Mental Health Perspectives

The doctor’s previous letter mentioned that it’s okay not to force oneself to fit in, and that it doesn’t matter if one feels out of place. However, you also implied that avoidance prevents one’s thoughts from being validated and hinders the development of social skills. Currentl...

Dr. Wang Yaoting reply Psychiatry
Hello: It's difficult to truly understand your situation and provide assistance through text descriptions in online Q&A. I recommend that you seek an evaluation at a nearby psychiatric or psychosomatic clinic as soon as possible. I wish you the best in finding answers so...

Finding Motivation: Overcoming Social Anxiety and Relationship Dependency

Hello Doctor: I think I have social anxiety disorder. I read the book "Never Be Nervous Again," and I relate to more than half of the symptoms. I don’t want to go out with anyone; I just want to be with my boyfriend because I feel more relaxed and happy with him, which ...

Dr. Su Zongwei reply Psychiatry
Many cases of social anxiety disorder are not solely psychological; there are often physiological components involved as well. Therefore, it is advisable not to isolate oneself in a personal bubble. Seeking consultation at a psychiatric clinic can be beneficial. In many instances...