Overcoming Social Anxiety: Strategies for Rebuilding Connections and Confidence - Psychiatry

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Social anxiety disorder


I used to be a very outgoing person, but during my educational journey, certain experiences with classmates caused me to become increasingly withdrawn.
Now, I have become accustomed to this personality and am very sensitive to the feelings of others.
I often sense when people are not being sincere with me, which makes me hesitant to trust others.
Even now, I fear job hunting and social interactions.
Among my friends, I only frequently communicate with one person, and I only occasionally chat with one or two others via text.
I also have degenerative arthritis in my spine, and due to a combination of reasons, I often feel hopeless about life.
Doctor, what should I do?

Nai Nai, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/07/24

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello Nana: Life is not perfect, and everyone has to carry some imperfections as they continue to live.
Let the past be the past; every moment can be a fresh start.
Engage in positive actions that promote your growth and improvement.
Don't give up; with gradual accumulation, you will always be able to see hope.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2021/07/24

More Info


Overcoming social anxiety and rebuilding connections and confidence can be a challenging journey, especially when past experiences have led to a more closed-off personality. It's important to recognize that social anxiety is a common issue, and many people experience similar feelings of fear and apprehension in social situations. Here are some strategies that may help you navigate this process:
1. Understanding Social Anxiety: Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged or scrutinized by others. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviors, which ultimately reinforce the anxiety. Understanding that your feelings are valid and that many others share similar experiences can be comforting.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a highly effective treatment for social anxiety. It focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to anxiety. For example, if you often think, "Everyone will judge me," CBT encourages you to challenge this thought by asking, "Is there evidence for this belief?" or "What would I say to a friend who thinks this way?" Working with a therapist can provide you with the tools to analyze your automatic thoughts and identify core beliefs that may be driving your anxiety.

3. Gradual Exposure: Gradual exposure to social situations can help desensitize you to the anxiety associated with them. Start with low-pressure situations, such as greeting a neighbor or making small talk with a cashier. As you become more comfortable, gradually increase the complexity of the interactions. This step-by-step approach can help you build confidence over time.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your mind and body before and during social interactions. Incorporating these practices into your daily routine can also help you manage anxiety in general.

5. Building Social Skills: If you feel that your social skills are lacking, consider joining a social skills training group or a support group for individuals with social anxiety. These environments provide a safe space to practice social interactions and receive constructive feedback. Additionally, engaging in activities that interest you, such as clubs or classes, can help you meet like-minded individuals in a less pressured setting.

6. Reframing Negative Thoughts: It's essential to work on reframing negative thoughts about yourself and your interactions. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, try to shift your perspective to what could go right. For instance, remind yourself of past successes in social situations, no matter how small they may seem.

7. Seeking Professional Help: Given the complexity of your feelings and experiences, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A psychologist or therapist can provide personalized strategies and support tailored to your specific needs. They can also help you address any underlying issues related to your self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness.

8. Physical Health Considerations: Since you mentioned having degenerative joint disease, it's important to consider how physical health can impact mental well-being. Engaging in gentle physical activity, such as walking or swimming, can improve your mood and reduce anxiety. Additionally, ensuring you have a support system in place for managing your physical health can alleviate some stress.

9. Building Connections: Start small when it comes to rebuilding connections. Reach out to acquaintances or friends you feel comfortable with, even if it’s just a text message or a brief phone call. Gradually increase your social interactions, and remember that it's okay to take breaks when needed.

10. Self-Compassion: Finally, practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that overcoming social anxiety is a process that takes time. Celebrate your small victories and be kind to yourself during setbacks.

In conclusion, overcoming social anxiety and rebuilding connections is a multifaceted process that involves understanding your feelings, challenging negative thoughts, gradually exposing yourself to social situations, and seeking support when needed. With patience and persistence, you can work towards feeling more confident and connected in social settings.

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