Overcoming Social Anxiety: A Student's Struggle with Conversations

Q: Overcoming Social Anxiety: A Student's Struggle with Conversations

Hello, Xiao Wei： It is recommended to focus your attention on the other person during conversations, actively listening and understanding them, which can often reduce anxiety. <br>Being an attentive listener is usually more appreciated than being the one who speaks. <br>When the

Feeling anxious while chatting?

Hello, Doctor: I am a second-year junior high school student.
Since I started middle school, I have noticed that I feel anxious when talking to my classmates.
I constantly pressure myself to come up with topics to discuss, but it often backfires, leaving my mind blank and making me feel tense and fearful, regardless of who I am speaking with.
I have tried to force myself not to think too much about topics, but I still cannot overcome this issue.
I am still very afraid of chatting with others, which has led to problems in my interpersonal relationships at school.
I have even had thoughts of self-harm due to the immense pressure I feel.
I often wonder if I am a strange person.
Doctor, do you think I might have social anxiety disorder? What should I do? Thank you very much!

Xiao Wei, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/11/05

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, Xiao Wei: It is recommended to focus your attention on the other person during conversations, actively listening and understanding them, which can often reduce anxiety.
Being an attentive listener is usually more appreciated than being the one who speaks.
When the conversation strays from the topic, simply listening, nodding, and smiling can suffice.
Additionally, paying more attention to your own strengths and advantages can help you present yourself with greater confidence.
Wishing you all the best!

Reply Date: 2016/11/05

More Info

Overcoming social anxiety is a significant challenge for many students, particularly during formative years such as middle school and high school. Your experience of feeling anxious when speaking with classmates, struggling to think of topics to discuss, and feeling a sense of pressure and fear in social situations is indicative of social anxiety disorder (SAD). This condition can manifest in various ways, including avoidance of social interactions, excessive worry about being judged, and physical symptoms such as sweating or trembling when faced with social situations.

First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle. Many individuals experience similar feelings, especially during adolescence when social dynamics are particularly intense. The pressure to fit in, make friends, and perform well in social settings can be overwhelming. Understanding that these feelings are common can help alleviate some of the stigma and isolation you may feel.

To address your concerns, here are several strategies that may help you manage and eventually overcome social anxiety:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This is one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety. CBT focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to anxiety. A therapist can help you develop coping strategies and gradually expose you to social situations in a controlled manner, allowing you to build confidence over time.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can help reduce anxiety symptoms. These techniques encourage you to focus on the present moment and can help calm your mind when you start to feel overwhelmed.

3. Gradual Exposure: Start small by engaging in low-pressure social situations. This could be as simple as greeting a classmate or participating in a small group discussion. Gradually increase the complexity of these interactions as you become more comfortable.

4. Focus on Listening: When in a conversation, shift your focus from worrying about what to say next to actively listening to the other person. This can take the pressure off you and help you engage more naturally in the conversation.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you find yourself thinking negatively about your social interactions, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. Often, our fears are exaggerated and do not reflect reality.

6. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to talk to someone you trust about your feelings, whether it’s a friend, family member, or school counselor. They can provide support and may offer insights that you hadn’t considered.

7. Consider Professional Help: If your anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide tailored strategies and support to help you navigate your feelings.

8. Join Support Groups: Sometimes, connecting with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly validating. Look for local or online support groups for individuals dealing with social anxiety.

9. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of aiming for perfection in social situations, set achievable goals for yourself. Celebrate small victories, such as initiating a conversation or participating in class discussions.

10. Educate Yourself: Understanding social anxiety can empower you. Read books or articles about the condition to learn more about it and discover additional coping strategies.

In conclusion, overcoming social anxiety is a journey that requires patience and persistence. It’s important to be kind to yourself and recognize that progress may be gradual. By implementing these strategies and seeking support, you can work towards feeling more comfortable in social situations and improve your overall quality of life. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and taking the first step towards addressing your anxiety is a significant achievement.

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