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Hello Doctor, I am a college student with an introverted and shy personality.
I find it difficult to engage in conversations and laugh with my classmates.
When I see them having friendly discussions, I feel intimidated and fear being ridiculed.
My relationships with others are not very good, and I often feel lonely.
I only have one friend from middle school, but now I am really afraid that my college classmates won't connect with me.
I've managed to get through three years, but I feel I must seek help now, especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex; I struggle to make eye contact, which makes me very sad.
We have group presentations coming up, and I can't find group members; people misunderstand me as being quirky and irresponsible.
I'm quite distressed, and I'm also worried about my academic performance.
Thank you, Dr.
Chen.
kk, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/05/01
Dr. Chen Fengwei reply Psychiatry
Hello KK, I apologize for the delay in my response as I was unaware there was an issue.
From your description, it seems that some of the problems stem from your "feelings," which may be overly sensitive and prone to negative emotions, thereby affecting your interpersonal relationships.
In this case, I would suggest practicing ways to overcome these negative emotions caused by heightened sensitivity.
For example, try initiating a few conversations with classmates you are not familiar with to clarify whether others truly have negative opinions about you or if you are being overly sensitive.
However, consulting with a professional would be even more beneficial.
School counselors or psychiatrists at nearby hospitals can provide you with additional support.
Sometimes, medication can help reduce feelings of anxiety and unease.
Seeking more professional consultations can assist in gradually resolving the issues you are facing.
Reply Date: 2004/05/01
More Info
Overcoming social anxiety is a significant challenge for many college students, and your experience resonates with countless others who face similar struggles. Social anxiety disorder (SAD) can manifest in various ways, including intense fear of social situations, avoidance of interactions, and feelings of inadequacy. It’s essential to recognize that you are not alone in this journey, and there are effective strategies to help you navigate through these feelings.
Firstly, it's crucial to understand that social anxiety is a common issue, especially among young adults. Many students feel overwhelmed by the pressure to connect with peers, particularly in a new environment like college. The fear of being judged or ridiculed can lead to avoidance behaviors, which only reinforce feelings of isolation and loneliness. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step towards overcoming them.
One effective approach to managing social anxiety is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety. For instance, if you find yourself thinking, "If I speak up, everyone will laugh at me," CBT encourages you to reframe this thought to something more realistic, like, "Most people are focused on themselves and may not even notice my nervousness." This shift in perspective can help reduce anxiety and build confidence in social situations.
Additionally, exposure therapy, a component of CBT, involves gradually facing your fears in a controlled manner. Start with small, manageable interactions, such as greeting a classmate or asking a question in class. As you become more comfortable, gradually increase the complexity of these interactions. This gradual exposure can help desensitize you to the anxiety-provoking situations and build your confidence over time.
Another helpful strategy is to practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Mindfulness involves staying present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety symptoms. When you feel anxious, take a moment to focus on your breath, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. This practice can help ground you and alleviate some of the immediate feelings of panic.
Building social skills is also essential. Consider joining clubs or groups that align with your interests. Engaging in activities you enjoy can provide a natural context for meeting new people and forming connections. Start with low-pressure environments where the focus is on the activity rather than socializing. Over time, you may find it easier to interact with others in these settings.
It’s also important to seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can provide relief and help you feel less isolated. If you feel comfortable, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist at your college. They can provide guidance, support, and coping strategies tailored to your specific needs.
Lastly, remember that overcoming social anxiety is a gradual process. Celebrate small victories along the way, whether it’s initiating a conversation or participating in a group discussion. Each step forward is a testament to your resilience and determination to connect with others.
In conclusion, while social anxiety can feel overwhelming, it is manageable with the right strategies and support. By challenging negative thoughts, gradually exposing yourself to social situations, practicing mindfulness, and seeking help, you can work towards building meaningful connections in your college experience. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there is hope for a more connected and fulfilling social life.
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