Managing Pressure and Anxiety: A Student's Struggle with Mental Health

Feeling a lot of distress?

Recently, I received my high school admission notice, and I barely made it into my first-choice school.
Initially, I felt a bit of pressure worrying about keeping up with the pace, but after performing poorly on an exam at my tutoring center, the teacher scolded me, saying that such grades would be laughed at in my first-choice school.
Suddenly, I felt a significant increase in pressure.

Three years ago, a boy in my grade confessed his feelings for me, and I seriously rejected him.
Recently, I encountered him again at the tutoring center, and he has been persistently following me, insisting on walking me home after class.
I don’t want him to know where I live because I fear potential consequences (he gives off a bit of a gang vibe, and his grades are also poor).
I have been rejecting him, but he continues to follow me regardless of my willingness.
Our homes are in different directions, but fortunately, my dad picks me up halfway through my walk home, which helps me escape his following.
However, this only applies to the evenings; in the mornings, he still follows me.
With the recent news about stalkers, I am genuinely worried that if he finds out where I live, I will be very anxious.
I don’t know what to do; I have tried my best to reject him, but he keeps pursuing me, and it makes me uncomfortable.
I don’t want to change tutoring centers because I feel I can adapt to what the teachers are teaching, and I have made many new friends there.

How can I effectively reject his persistent advances? Lately, I have been experiencing insomnia and diarrhea at night, and I feel that my stress is overwhelming.
Am I possibly experiencing mild depression? 😢😢😢

Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/08/03

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, regarding your grades, I believe that self-reflection is important.
It's essential to assess your own abilities and whether you have put in your best effort; whatever the outcome, it's best to accept it.
Teachers naturally hope for their students to perform well, and sometimes their motivation stems from wanting to encourage students, while other times it may be more about their own reputation.
As long as you have worked hard and sincerely, there’s no need to pressure yourself too much.
When faced with a persistent boy, it's normal to feel annoyance and fear.
I think adopting a cold attitude—neither welcoming nor rejecting him, treating him like air—might be a better strategy.
Reacting angrily may give him the impression that there is still hope, which is more than simply ignoring him.
Unless you live in a very remote area, there are people everywhere in Taiwan.
Even if he knows where you live, he is unlikely to confront you openly.
If you still feel very fearful, I think you should talk to your father.
Adults have more ways and means to handle such situations, allowing you to focus on your studies without worrying about these issues.
If things are being addressed, the pressure will lessen.
If you continue to experience insomnia and high stress, consider discussing it with your family or seeing a doctor.
Online advice is insufficient to determine if you have depression.
The school counseling office has some depression assessment scales; you can ask a teacher for assistance in trying them out, but don’t be too anxious.
Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2015/08/03

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of pressure and anxiety, which is affecting your mental health and overall well-being. The transition from high school to a more competitive environment, such as a preparatory school, can be overwhelming, especially when coupled with external pressures from teachers and peers. Your situation is not uncommon among students, and it’s important to address these feelings before they escalate further.

Firstly, let’s break down the sources of your anxiety. You mentioned feeling immense pressure after receiving criticism from your teacher regarding your exam performance. This kind of feedback can be very discouraging, especially when you are already feeling the weight of expectations. It’s crucial to remember that grades do not define your worth or potential. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and it’s okay to struggle in certain areas. Instead of focusing solely on the negative feedback, try to identify specific areas where you can improve and set realistic goals for yourself. This approach can help shift your mindset from one of fear to one of growth.

Additionally, the situation with the boy from your class is understandably distressing. It’s important to prioritize your safety and comfort in any social situation. If you feel uncomfortable with his persistent behavior, it’s essential to set clear boundaries. You can communicate your feelings directly to him, stating that you do not wish to be followed or accompanied. If he continues to disregard your wishes, consider discussing the situation with a trusted adult, such as a parent or a teacher, who can provide support and guidance. It’s crucial to ensure your safety, and if you feel threatened, do not hesitate to seek help from authorities.

Your physical symptoms, such as insomnia and gastrointestinal issues, are also concerning. These can be manifestations of anxiety and stress, and they can further exacerbate your mental health struggles. It’s important to take care of your body during this time. Establishing a regular sleep schedule, practicing relaxation techniques, and engaging in physical activity can help alleviate some of these symptoms. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can also be beneficial in managing anxiety.

Regarding your concern about potentially having mild depression, it’s essential to recognize that persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, and physical symptoms like insomnia can indicate that you may need additional support. Seeking help from a mental health professional can provide you with the tools and strategies to cope with your feelings effectively. Therapy can be a safe space to explore your emotions, learn coping mechanisms, and develop a plan to manage your anxiety and stress.

Lastly, remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Many students face similar challenges, and it’s okay to reach out for help. Whether it’s talking to friends, family, or a counselor, sharing your experiences can lighten the burden you feel. You deserve to feel safe, supported, and understood as you navigate this challenging time in your life.

In conclusion, managing pressure and anxiety as a student can be daunting, but it is possible with the right strategies and support. Focus on setting realistic goals, establishing boundaries, taking care of your physical health, and seeking professional help if needed. You have the strength to overcome these challenges, and taking the first step towards addressing them is a significant move in the right direction.

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