Constantly in a state of tension?
I have a classmate with whom I have a decent relationship, but she constantly emphasizes that she doesn't study, yet she performs very well on exams.
Initially, I felt unhappy about this, but I eventually let it go.
Now that we are in our senior year of high school, the pressure has increased significantly.
I constantly feel the need to study, and when I'm not studying, I find myself wanting her or others to know that I'm not studying.
I'm always preoccupied with whether I'm studying or if others are studying, leaving me no time to relax or unwind.
Even when that classmate isn't saying those things, I still feel anxious when I see her, as if she's always trying to show off, and I feel compelled to do the same.
I've shared these feelings with other friends and family, but soon after, I revert back to my original anxious state.
This has been going on for over a month, and during particularly frustrating times, I've had thoughts of suicide, feeling as if I'm being suffocated by pressure.
Every morning when I wake up, these thoughts consume me, and I can't escape them.
I'm unsure if I have a mental health condition, but my mindset remains stuck in this cycle.
Xuan, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/11/29
Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: The pressure of preparing for exams in the senior year of high school can be overwhelming, and feelings of frustration are common, but this is temporary and will soon be a thing of the past.
When preparing for exams, it's important to be consistent and focus on your own pace without comparing yourself to others or pretending that you are not studying, as pretending can be exhausting and drain your energy.
So, be honest with yourself and others, and review openly at your own pace.
Diligently studying is something to be proud of! Wishing you all the best.
Reply Date: 2016/11/29
More Info
It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of anxiety related to academic pressure, particularly in the context of your peers and the expectations surrounding performance. This is a common issue among students, especially in high-pressure environments like high school and college. The feelings of constant comparison to others, particularly when it comes to academic performance, can create a cycle of anxiety that is difficult to break.
Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that what you're feeling is valid. The pressure to perform academically can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially when you perceive that others are succeeding with less effort. This can create a sense of urgency and a fear of failure that permeates your daily life, making it hard to relax or enjoy your time outside of studying. The fact that you are constantly thinking about studying or worrying about what others are doing can lead to a state of hyper-vigilance, which is exhausting both mentally and physically.
Your mention of feeling overwhelmed to the point of contemplating self-harm is particularly concerning. This is a serious issue that should not be taken lightly. It is crucial to seek professional help if you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Mental health professionals can provide you with the support and strategies you need to cope with these feelings and help you develop healthier thought patterns.
In terms of coping strategies, here are a few suggestions that might help you manage your anxiety:
1. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm your mind and body. Even short periods of mindfulness can make a difference.
2. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own academic goals. Set achievable targets for your study sessions and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This can help shift your focus from competition to personal growth.
3. Limit Social Media and Comparisons: If you find that seeing your peers' achievements on social media or in person increases your anxiety, consider taking a break from these platforms. Reducing exposure to comparisons can help you focus on your own journey.
4. Talk to Someone: Continue to share your feelings with trusted friends or family members. Sometimes just talking about what you're going through can provide relief. Additionally, consider speaking with a school counselor or therapist who can offer professional guidance.
5. Establish a Routine: Creating a structured study schedule can help you feel more in control. Allocate specific times for studying, breaks, and relaxation. This can help you manage your time effectively and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed.
6. Physical Activity: Regular exercise can significantly reduce anxiety and improve your mood. Find an activity you enjoy, whether it's walking, running, dancing, or playing a sport, and make it a regular part of your routine.
7. Seek Professional Help: If your anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide therapy and, if necessary, medication to help manage your symptoms.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking care of your mental health is just as important as your academic success. You are not alone in this, and there are resources available to support you through these challenging times.
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