Schizophrenia: Struggles with Mental Health and Education

Schizophrenia

Hello, Doctor: I am currently studying at a vocational school and I am not happy at all.
I have been dealing with my illness for almost four years now.
Here is my description: I have a mental illness, and I initially considered whether to attend vocational school.
Since I started my studies, there are times when I either forget what the teacher says or do not hear it at all, or I hear it but do not understand it (besides not paying attention).
Even after listening, I find it difficult to think or cannot think at all! I have issues in every subject to varying degrees; I feel like I am a problem student! In my electronic practice classes, I have to ask the teacher every time.
The teacher teaches me, but since I am in a group with others, they hear the instructions too.
The problem is that there was one time when the teacher explained something, and I still couldn't understand it until my classmate (in my group) taught me three or four times and I practiced it myself three or four times while writing down the steps.
While others learn and complete tasks quickly, I may take a long time! This semester, I am studying engineering mathematics, and I am still facing the same issues.
I either forget or confuse the basic concepts.
I ask the teacher questions every time.
In the last session, even though the teacher explained the same principle three times for different problems, I still couldn't understand it, or I either didn't hear it or heard it but didn't comprehend it.
Even the simplest calculation, like -6 + 13, takes me a long time to figure out, and I struggle with applying formulas! While others can quickly calculate or understand concepts, I take a long time and sometimes cannot arrive at a solution without someone teaching me carefully.
Now, when I go to ask my engineering math teacher, they seem to be at their wit's end and have given up on me; they leave right after class without giving me a chance to ask! I also do not have good relationships with my classmates; I am quiet and somewhat reclusive, and I have no friends in class! Sometimes I want to talk to classmates (or others), but I feel scared because it feels like acting and somewhat insincere.
Now, besides not being able to find a teacher (who has a bad attitude), I also have to attend tutoring after class, which adds a lot of pressure! I am almost driven crazy by engineering mathematics; since the semester started, I have only focused on that subject, and I have no interest in other subjects.
I know I need to solve my problems myself, but I genuinely do not understand, which is why I ask the teacher! However, I feel like I am losing my mind due to academic pressure, interpersonal relationships, and the pressure of further education.
I often think about suicide...
as a way to escape my illness and solve all mundane issues.
My younger brother is more accomplished than I am and has better social skills, and as the older brother, I feel worthless and that life has no meaning! Why did that unpaid boss cause me to develop a mental illness!? I really hate him! I have been brooding over it.
He is also a teacher, and I filed a complaint with the education bureau, but they could not sanction him; he is very cunning, and there is no such thing as karma in this world; it is nonsense! I am also considering not pursuing further education or even dropping out.
The teachers pass me not because of my abilities, even though I study hard; I feel that the diploma I will receive will only be a mockery and an insult to me! Today, I have to attend English tutoring, and because of the situations I described, I feel a lot of pressure, am very frustrated, and want to cry.
Therefore, I skipped class today to relieve some of the burden.
The school counselor's attitude towards me has also become worse; if they did not know I have a mental illness, they would have already scolded me.
Sometimes I feel detached from reality...
I have told my psychiatrist about my situation, and after listening, he looked serious and told me that I must take the medication he prescribed and not choose medications based on side effects! My liver enzyme levels are at 170, so he is cautious about prescribing strong medications.
Here is my prescription: Fluoxetine HCl 20mg/cap (brand name: Seronil) twice daily after meals, one capsule each time.
Clonazepam 0.5mg/tab (S-IV) (brand name: Rivotril) twice daily after meals, half a tablet each time.
Quetiapine 2.5mg/f.c tab (brand name: Seroquel) once daily before bedtime, one tablet each time.
Clonazepam 0.5mg/tab (S-IV) (brand name: Rivotril) once daily before bedtime, one tablet each time.
I have read the medication instructions, and Seroquel is indicated for schizophrenia.
I do not like being deceived or kept in the dark.
Doctor, do I really have "schizophrenia"? [Please be honest with me].
My doctor seems unwilling to tell me the actual situation, and I am half in doubt! Additionally, I have noticed some of my functions are slowly deteriorating, such as forgetting to wash my hands after using the restroom, and only remembering to wash them afterward...
Although I took Seroquel yesterday, and my symptoms have improved somewhat today, I still forget things.
I am truly sorry to disturb you and hope you can provide some advice or explanation regarding my description.
Lastly, besides saying sorry, I want to thank you, Doctor.

j, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/11/05

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry

Based on the types of medications you are receiving, it seems that your doctor believes your condition is related to depression, which is why you are prescribed fluoxetine.
As for the medication Seroquel, although it is classified as an antipsychotic, it is frequently used in clinical practice for patients with depressive insomnia, and it has shown good efficacy with minimal side effects.
Medications can have various indications, and in your case, they should provide significant help.
Don't worry; your doctor is taking good care of you by prescribing effective medications.
You should also not give up on yourself.
Stay strong and take care.

Reply Date: 2004/11/05

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a very challenging time with your mental health, particularly as you navigate your studies and interpersonal relationships. Your concerns about your cognitive functioning, emotional well-being, and the impact of your mental health condition on your education are valid and important to address.

Firstly, it’s crucial to understand that mental health conditions, including schizophrenia and other related disorders, can significantly affect cognitive functions such as memory, attention, and processing speed. The symptoms you describe, such as difficulty understanding lectures, needing repeated explanations, and feeling overwhelmed by coursework, can be indicative of cognitive impairments often associated with mental health disorders. These impairments can make learning and academic performance more challenging, leading to feelings of frustration and inadequacy.

Your feelings of isolation and the pressure you feel from your academic environment can exacerbate your mental health struggles. It's not uncommon for individuals with mental health conditions to feel disconnected from peers, especially if they perceive themselves as different or if they have difficulty engaging in social situations. This can lead to a cycle of loneliness and increased anxiety, which can further impact your academic performance and overall well-being.

Regarding your medication, it’s essential to follow your psychiatrist's recommendations closely. Fluoxetine (Seronil) is commonly prescribed for depression and anxiety disorders, while Quetiapine (Seroquel) is often used to manage symptoms of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Clonazepam (Rivotril) is a benzodiazepine that can help with anxiety but should be used cautiously due to the potential for dependence. Your doctor’s decision to prescribe these medications likely reflects a careful consideration of your symptoms and overall health, especially given your elevated liver enzymes.

It’s understandable to have concerns about being diagnosed with schizophrenia, especially if you feel that your doctor is not being transparent. However, it’s important to remember that mental health diagnoses can be complex and are based on a range of symptoms and behaviors. If you have questions about your diagnosis or treatment plan, I encourage you to have an open and honest conversation with your psychiatrist. It’s your right to understand your condition and the rationale behind your treatment.

In terms of coping strategies, here are a few suggestions that may help you manage your situation:
1. Seek Support: Consider reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can provide you with additional support and coping strategies. They can help you work through your feelings of inadequacy and isolation.

2. Establish a Routine: Creating a structured daily routine can help you manage your time and reduce feelings of overwhelm. Break down your study material into smaller, manageable tasks and set specific goals for each study session.

3. Practice Self-Compassion: It’s important to be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, no matter how small. Understand that struggling with mental health does not diminish your worth or potential.

4. Engage in Mindfulness or Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall emotional state.

5. Communicate with Your Educators: If possible, communicate your challenges with your teachers or academic advisors. They may be able to provide accommodations or additional support to help you succeed in your studies.

6. Limit Stressors: If certain subjects or situations are particularly stressful, consider discussing with your academic advisor the possibility of adjusting your course load or seeking alternative learning methods.

7. Connect with Peers: While it may feel daunting, try to engage with classmates or join study groups. Building connections with others can help alleviate feelings of isolation.

Lastly, if you ever feel overwhelmed to the point of considering self-harm, it’s crucial to seek immediate help from a mental health professional or a crisis hotline. Your life is valuable, and there are people who care and want to help you through this difficult time.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and with the right support and treatment, it is possible to find a path toward healing and fulfillment.

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