Thank you, Dr. Chen?
Thank you for your response and suggestions.
During the time I was waiting for your reply, the thing I feared really happened.
He hit me over a minor issue, leaving me bruised all over.
Afterwards, he kept apologizing, which made me reconsider my thoughts about marrying him.
However, we have not given up because he is genuinely reflecting on his personality issues.
Following Dr.
Chen's advice, we are both seeking counseling from a psychologist.
I know this is a long journey, but we are willing to give it another try.
I just don't know how to find a "highly skilled psychologist" as Dr.
Chen mentioned.
The costs are often exorbitant and intimidating.
How can I find a psychologist that is suitable for me? Wishing you a Merry Christmas!
Qiu Feng, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/12/08
Dr. Chen Guangpeng reply Psychiatry
Hello, autumn wind user: Even though the situation has unfolded as expected, it is still shocking and regrettable.
I must say that your decision to temporarily pull back and consider the long-term is wise and commendable.
On another level, regarding your boyfriend's treatment and expectations, I believe you are facing a task that, while not impossible, is indeed very challenging.
I do not oppose your sincere efforts to try, but I suggest that you set a "cut-off point" to determine when you might need to step back and how to do so gracefully (I recommend you buy a book titled "Addicted to Love" for reference).
Returning to the current issue, where can you find a more skilled psychologist? I suggest you visit public medical centers (such as National Taiwan University Hospital, Veterans General Hospital, or Cheng Kung University Hospital) or rehabilitation hospitals (like Taipei Rehabilitation Hospital, Taoyuan Rehabilitation Hospital, Grass Mountain Rehabilitation Hospital, Chia Nan Rehabilitation Hospital, or Kaohsiung Medical University Hospital).
Alternatively, private medical centers with actual medical schools, such as Chang Gung University or Kaohsiung Medical University, may provide reasonably priced and professional assistance.
With nothing more to say, I can only wish you the best.
Reply Date: 2004/12/08
More Info
Finding the right therapist can indeed be a challenging journey, especially when navigating complex emotional landscapes and interpersonal dynamics. It’s commendable that you and your partner are willing to seek professional help to address the issues in your relationship, particularly after experiencing a distressing incident. The path to healing often requires patience, self-reflection, and a commitment to understanding oneself and each other.
When searching for a therapist, there are several factors to consider that can help ensure you find someone who is a good fit for your needs:
1. Specialization: Look for therapists who specialize in the issues you are facing. For example, if you are dealing with relationship dynamics, trauma, or anger management, a therapist with experience in these areas will be more equipped to help you. You can often find this information on their professional profiles or websites.
2. Credentials and Experience: Check the therapist’s qualifications, including their education, licenses, and any additional certifications. Experience in dealing with similar issues can be a significant advantage. You might also want to inquire about their therapeutic approach, as different therapists use various methods (e.g., cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, etc.).
3. Compatibility: The therapeutic relationship is crucial for effective treatment. It’s important to feel comfortable and safe with your therapist. Many therapists offer a free initial consultation, which can be a good opportunity to gauge whether you feel a connection with them. Trust your instincts—if you don’t feel comfortable, it’s okay to seek someone else.
4. Cost and Accessibility: Therapy can be expensive, and it’s important to consider your budget. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income, and many insurance plans cover mental health services. Research local resources, community mental health centers, or non-profit organizations that may provide affordable therapy options.
5. Referrals and Reviews: Ask for recommendations from friends, family, or healthcare providers. Online reviews can also provide insight into other clients’ experiences. However, keep in mind that everyone’s experience is subjective, and what works for one person may not work for another.
6. Cultural Competence: If you or your partner have specific cultural or identity-related concerns, finding a therapist who understands and respects these aspects can enhance the therapeutic experience. This includes understanding cultural backgrounds, gender identity, and sexual orientation.
7. Trial and Error: Finding the right therapist may take time, and it’s not uncommon to meet with a few different professionals before finding the right fit. Don’t be discouraged if the first few sessions don’t feel right; it’s a part of the process.
8. Commitment to the Process: As you mentioned, therapy is a long journey. Both you and your partner must be committed to the process, willing to engage in difficult conversations, and open to change. This commitment can significantly impact the effectiveness of the therapy.
In conclusion, the journey towards healing and understanding is often fraught with challenges, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. By taking the time to find the right therapist, you are investing in your emotional well-being and the health of your relationship. Remember that it’s okay to seek help and that you deserve support as you navigate this path. Wishing you both the best in your journey, and may you find the guidance and understanding you seek. Happy holidays!
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