What should I do?
Recently, my mother (48 years old, who has had a hysterectomy, so it's unclear if she has gone through menopause) has been experiencing frequent mood swings and occasional suicidal thoughts.
Her emotions are very unstable, and she is aware that many of her thoughts are irrational and difficult for her to control.
She is having trouble sleeping and has a poor appetite.
I often tell her that I want to take her to see a doctor, but she is very resistant to the idea.
I really don’t know what to do.
How can I persuade my mother?
00, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/02/24
Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry
I would like to share with my mother the success stories of others who have undergone treatment, encouraging her to seek medical help or consult an obstetrician-gynecologist.
When she does, I hope the doctor will recommend that she also see a psychiatrist for a consultation.
Additionally, I suggest that we schedule the appointments in a way that minimizes her opportunity for overthinking.
For my mother, being in a state of depression must be very uncomfortable, which naturally leads to a more negative outlook on many aspects of life.
Wishing her well.
Reply Date: 2005/02/24
More Info
Supporting a parent who is struggling with mental health issues can be incredibly challenging, especially when they are resistant to seeking help. Your concern for your mother’s well-being is commendable, and it’s important to approach this situation with empathy and understanding. Here are some steps you can take to support her effectively:
1. Open Communication: Start by creating a safe space for your mother to express her feelings. Let her know that you are there to listen without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can alleviate some of the emotional burden. You might say something like, "I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling down lately, and I’m here for you if you want to talk about it."
2. Normalize Mental Health: It can be helpful to normalize the conversation around mental health. You might share stories of others who have sought help and benefited from it. This can help reduce the stigma she may feel about seeking professional help. You could say, "Many people go through tough times and find that talking to a doctor or therapist really helps them feel better."
3. Suggest Alternative Approaches: If she is resistant to seeing a psychiatrist or therapist, consider suggesting alternative approaches that might feel less intimidating. For example, you could propose a visit to a general practitioner for a physical check-up, framing it as a way to address her overall health. You might say, "How about we go for a check-up together? It could be a good way to see how you’re doing physically and mentally."
4. Focus on Small Steps: Encourage her to take small steps towards improvement. This could include simple lifestyle changes such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, or practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques. You could suggest, "Maybe we could try going for a walk together or doing some yoga at home. It might help lift your mood."
5. Be Patient and Understanding: Understand that change takes time, and your mother may not be ready to seek help immediately. It’s important to be patient and continue to offer your support without pushing too hard. Let her know that you care about her and that you’re there for her no matter what.
6. Involve Other Family Members: If possible, involve other family members in the conversation. Sometimes hearing similar concerns from multiple loved ones can encourage someone to seek help. You might say, "I think it would be great if we all sat down together and talked about how we can support each other."
7. Educate Yourself: Learn more about mental health issues, especially those that may be affecting your mother. Understanding her symptoms can help you empathize with her struggles and provide better support. Resources like books, articles, or reputable websites can be beneficial.
8. Seek Professional Guidance for Yourself: It can be emotionally taxing to support someone with mental health issues. Consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional for yourself. They can provide you with strategies to cope with the situation and help you understand how to best support your mother.
9. Emergency Situations: If your mother expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions, it’s crucial to take them seriously. In such cases, you should seek immediate help from professionals. You can contact a mental health crisis line or take her to an emergency room.
10. Encourage Self-Care: Remind her of the importance of self-care. Encourage her to engage in activities she enjoys or that help her relax, whether it’s reading, gardening, or spending time with friends.
In conclusion, supporting a parent with mental health issues requires a delicate balance of empathy, patience, and encouragement. By fostering open communication, normalizing mental health discussions, and suggesting small, manageable steps, you can help your mother feel more comfortable seeking the help she needs. Remember, your support can make a significant difference in her journey toward healing.
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