Anger: Managing Emotional Sensitivity and Relationships

Easily irritated?

Hello Doctor: I often feel down, insecure, lack confidence, and am sensitive.
I tend to get overwhelmed by small issues and easily become angry.
My relationship with my boyfriend is affected by this, leading to frequent arguments, making him feel that I complain a lot and get upset over trivial matters.
Why is this happening? I have taken medications like Buprenorphine and Sertraline.
While taking them, I experienced insomnia, but my mood did improve.
I took the medication for about two months, but due to the insomnia, I stopped.
After stopping, my mood did not worsen, and my sleep quality improved, but I still find myself getting angry easily.
What should I do?

GIGI, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/05/31

Dr. Wang Zhenyang reply Psychiatry

Dear Sir/Madam,
Difficulty sleeping after taking medication may be a side effect of the drug.
It is advisable to discuss your medication with your physician, as there are many types of antidepressants available.
You might consider trying a different medication.
Additionally, the issue of irritability should be further discussed with a physician or psychologist to understand its underlying causes and to receive appropriate psychological treatment.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Dr.
Wang Chen-Yang
Taoyuan Rehabilitation Hospital

Reply Date: 2005/05/31

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing significant emotional sensitivity and challenges in managing your anger, which can impact your relationships, particularly with your boyfriend. Your feelings of low self-esteem, insecurity, and sensitivity to minor issues can lead to heightened emotional responses, including anger and frustration. This is not uncommon, and many people struggle with similar feelings.

Firstly, it's important to understand that emotional sensitivity can stem from various factors, including past experiences, personality traits, and even biological predispositions. When you feel overwhelmed by emotions, it can be helpful to take a step back and assess the situation before reacting. This can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts in your relationships.

Here are some strategies that may help you manage your emotional sensitivity and anger more effectively:
1. Self-Awareness: Start by recognizing your triggers. What specific situations or comments tend to provoke your anger? Keeping a journal can help you track these instances and identify patterns in your emotional responses. Understanding your triggers is the first step toward managing them.

2. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce emotional reactivity. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm your mind and body, making it easier to respond to situations with a clearer perspective.

3. Communication Skills: Work on expressing your feelings in a constructive way. Instead of lashing out or complaining, try using "I" statements to communicate how you feel. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me," you might say, "I feel unheard when I try to share my thoughts." This approach can help your boyfriend understand your feelings without feeling attacked.

4. Cognitive Behavioral Techniques: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques can be beneficial in changing negative thought patterns that contribute to your emotional responses. For instance, when you feel anger rising, challenge the thoughts that accompany it. Ask yourself if those thoughts are rational or if there might be another way to view the situation.

5. Physical Activity: Engaging in regular physical activity can help reduce stress and improve your mood. Exercise releases endorphins, which can enhance your overall sense of well-being and reduce feelings of anger and frustration.

6. Seek Professional Help: Since you mentioned that you have previously taken medication but experienced sleep disturbances, it may be worthwhile to consult with a mental health professional. They can help you explore alternative treatment options, such as therapy or different medications that may not have the same side effects. Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy, can provide you with tools to manage your emotions more effectively.

7. Establish Boundaries: If certain situations or interactions consistently lead to conflict, it may be helpful to establish boundaries. Communicate with your boyfriend about what you need when you feel overwhelmed. This could involve taking a break during heated moments or agreeing to discuss sensitive topics at a later time.

8. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Recognize that everyone has emotional struggles, and it's okay to seek help and work on improving your emotional health. Self-compassion can reduce feelings of shame or guilt associated with your emotional responses.

In summary, managing emotional sensitivity and anger is a process that requires patience and practice. By developing self-awareness, improving communication skills, and utilizing relaxation techniques, you can create a healthier emotional landscape for yourself and improve your relationships. If you find that these strategies are not enough, consider seeking professional support to guide you through this journey. Remember, it's okay to ask for help, and taking steps toward understanding and managing your emotions is a sign of strength.

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