How to become a confident person?
Dr.
Chen: Long time no see! I just finished my school exams, and the results will be announced in mid-August.
I am currently preparing for the computer license exam in November.
I am doing these things to build my skills and confidence; however, I still don't know how to increase my self-confidence.
There is also a serious issue.
My personality has become extreme, leading to irritability and suspicion; I also find it hard to trust my friends and family around me.
How can I address this issue? Please teach me again, okay? Thank you, and I wish you happiness! Lily
lily, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/08/08
Dr. Chen Mingzhe reply Psychiatry
Dear Lily: You must believe in yourself in order to trust others! As for how to become a confident person, it's similar to achieving "success." First, accumulate "small" accomplishments (doing things well, doing the right things, consistently completing tasks that you are satisfied with).
With the catalyst of time (one task, two tasks, the more you do, the better you get), and the wisdom of "taking time to reflect" (considering the future, weighing the pros and cons of your actions, learning from them, and writing down your insights and realizations), practice these principles every three months, and one day success will belong to you! Don't forget to let me know when that happens.
PS! I've been quite busy lately, so my reply may be a bit late; please don't take offense! Thanks a lot!
Reply Date: 2005/08/08
More Info
Hello Lily,
It's great to hear from you again! First of all, congratulations on completing your school exams and preparing for your upcoming computer certification test. It's commendable that you're taking steps to build your skills and confidence. However, I understand that you're struggling with self-confidence and dealing with feelings of anger and distrust towards those around you. Let's explore some strategies that can help you navigate these challenges.
Building Self-Confidence
1. Set Achievable Goals: Start by setting small, realistic goals for yourself. Achieving these goals can provide a sense of accomplishment and gradually build your confidence. For example, if you're preparing for your certification exam, break down your study material into manageable sections and set deadlines for each.
2. Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts that undermine your confidence. Instead of thinking, "I can't do this," try reframing it to, "I am capable of learning and improving." Positive affirmations can help shift your mindset over time.
3. Celebrate Your Successes: Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This could be as simple as treating yourself after completing a study session or sharing your progress with a friend.
4. Seek Feedback: Constructive feedback from trusted friends or mentors can provide valuable insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. This can help you gain a more balanced view of your abilities.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. Understand that everyone makes errors, and they are part of the learning process. Instead of being overly critical, treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.
Managing Anger and Trust Issues
1. Identify Triggers: Take some time to reflect on what specifically triggers your anger and distrust. Keeping a journal can help you track these emotions and identify patterns. Understanding the root causes can empower you to address them more effectively.
2. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help you stay grounded and manage your emotions. When you feel anger rising, take a moment to breathe deeply and center yourself before reacting.
3. Communicate Openly: If you find yourself feeling distrustful of friends or family, consider discussing your feelings with them. Open communication can help clarify misunderstandings and strengthen your relationships. Expressing your concerns can also help you feel more connected and supported.
4. Limit Exposure to Negativity: Surround yourself with positive influences. If certain relationships or environments contribute to your anger or distrust, consider setting boundaries or reducing your exposure to them.
5. Seek Professional Help: If you find that your anger and trust issues are significantly impacting your life, it may be beneficial to speak with a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies.
Conclusion
Building confidence and managing emotions like anger and distrust is a journey that takes time and effort. Remember that it's okay to seek help and support along the way. By implementing these strategies, you can gradually improve your self-esteem and foster healthier relationships with those around you.
Stay committed to your personal growth, and don't hesitate to reach out for support when needed. Wishing you all the best in your studies and in overcoming these challenges!
Take care,
Doctor Q&A Teams
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