How to Help a Friend with Possible Mental Health Issues?

Does my friend have a mental illness?

I have a high school classmate who was laid off by a large company a few years ago.
Since she started working, she has constantly changed jobs, with the longest being less than a year and the shortest being less than a month.
She often complains that her jobs are too exhausting and the pay is too low, and she frequently wonders why others can earn so much money in a month while she cannot.
Ever since she was fired from the large company, she has exhibited strange behavior.
Two years ago, she started spray painting at the homes of her former colleagues, at her previous workplace, and even threw bottles.
She has made silent phone calls in the middle of the night, only to hang up afterward.
My home has also become an unwitting victim, as I have a job, children, and a happy family.
Recently, she even sent threatening letters.
Her former company reported her to the police, but they have been unable to take action against her.
Her parents are unable to control her and seem to have given up on her.
How can I help her? How can I get her to see a psychiatrist? The police have explained to her parents the need to take her to a mental health professional, but they refuse.
This situation cannot continue; what if one day she commits a more terrible act? It would be too late then.
Please help me and advise me on how to handle this issue.
We are truly overwhelmed and mentally exhausted.
Thank you.

lin, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/12/24

Dr. Chen Mingzhe reply Psychiatry

Dear Lin, your friend has developed emotional instability and inappropriate behaviors due to significant stressors (being laid off and frequently changing jobs), which have triggered her personality traits.
There comes a point when even parents cannot manage their child’s behavior.
What kind of person reaches a point where parental guidance is ineffective? She is indeed unwell and requires professional psychiatric treatment.
At this moment, your care and love, as well as that of her parents, are not sufficient to help her; she needs specialized treatment to navigate this difficult phase in her life.
Otherwise, the situation you fear may very well occur, so please urgently persuade her parents to seek medical attention immediately!

Reply Date: 2005/12/24

More Info

Helping a friend with possible mental health issues can be a challenging and delicate situation, especially when their behavior raises concerns for their safety and the safety of others. In the case of your friend, it seems that her actions have escalated to a point where they are not only disruptive but potentially dangerous. Here are some steps you can take to help her while also protecting yourself and others:
1. Understand the Situation: It’s important to recognize that your friend may be experiencing severe mental health issues, possibly including depression, anxiety, or even a more serious condition like a personality disorder or psychosis. Her erratic behavior, such as vandalism, making threatening calls, and sending threatening letters, indicates that she may be in crisis. Understanding that these behaviors are often symptoms of underlying mental health problems can help you approach the situation with empathy.

2. Encourage Professional Help: While it can be difficult to convince someone to seek help, it’s crucial to encourage her to see a mental health professional. You can express your concern for her well-being and suggest that talking to a therapist or psychiatrist could provide her with the support she needs. If she is resistant, try to frame it as a way to help her cope with her feelings and frustrations rather than as a sign of weakness.

3. Involve Trusted Individuals: If her parents are not responsive, consider reaching out to other family members or friends who may have influence over her. Sometimes, hearing concerns from multiple people can help her realize the severity of her situation. If she has any close friends or relatives who are concerned, they can also encourage her to seek help.

4. Contact Mental Health Services: If her behavior continues to escalate and poses a risk to herself or others, it may be necessary to contact mental health services directly. In many areas, there are crisis intervention teams that can assess her situation and provide immediate assistance. You can also look into local mental health hotlines or services that can guide you on how to proceed.

5. Document Behaviors: Keep a record of her behaviors and any incidents that occur. This documentation can be helpful if you need to involve authorities or mental health professionals. It provides concrete evidence of her actions and the potential risks involved.

6. Safety First: If you ever feel that her actions could lead to harm—either to herself or others—do not hesitate to contact the police or emergency services. It’s better to err on the side of caution. They can perform a welfare check and, if necessary, take her to a facility for evaluation.

7. Set Boundaries: While it’s commendable that you want to help her, it’s also important to protect your own mental health. Set clear boundaries regarding what you are willing to tolerate. If her behavior becomes too overwhelming or harmful to you, it’s okay to distance yourself for your own well-being.

8. Educate Yourself: Understanding mental health issues can equip you with the knowledge to better support your friend. Look for resources on mental health conditions, crisis intervention, and how to communicate effectively with someone in distress.

9. Be Patient and Compassionate: Change takes time, and your friend may not respond immediately to your suggestions. Continue to express your concern and support, but also recognize that ultimately, the decision to seek help must come from her.

In conclusion, helping a friend with possible mental health issues requires a balance of compassion, assertiveness, and self-care. While you can provide support and encouragement, it’s essential to recognize the limits of your ability to help and to involve professionals when necessary. Your concern for her well-being is commendable, and taking these steps can help ensure that both you and your friend are safe and supported.

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