Overwhelming Anxiety and Unexplained Tears: A Journey Through Mental Health

A person who was originally optimistic has been experiencing unexplained crying and anxiety frequently over the past three months?

Hello, doctor.
As per the subject, here are the detailed circumstances: I have been experiencing persistent abdominal discomfort and have seen several doctors and undergone multiple tests, all of which indicated no issues.
Two weeks ago, I visited the gynecology department at Cheng Kung University for an examination, which included a pelvic exam and an ultrasound.
Since it was my first visit to a gynecologist, I felt very anxious afterward.
Coupled with my previous abdominal discomfort, I have been experiencing constant anxiety for the past two weeks, to the point of being afraid of crowds, going out, and being alone.

My greatest anxiety stems from my fear of illness.
After the gynecological examination, I am terrified that my previously healthy body might have contracted HIV during the check-up, potentially harming my fiancé.
Although I asked the doctor and nurse about my concerns on that day, and they assured me that it was impossible and that it was a routine examination to identify the cause of my abdominal pain, I am still extremely fearful.
For the past two weeks, I have refrained from any sexual activity with my fiancé and have avoided kissing him, feeling hyper-vigilant as if I were truly infected.
I know that the likelihood of such an occurrence in a major hospital is very low, yet I remain very scared.
Every time I wake up, I feel deep anguish because I worry about this issue.
I am terrified of harming my loved ones, and any slight possibility makes it impossible for me to ignore.
However, my fiancé believes there is no problem and continues to kiss me, which only intensifies my fear after each deep kiss.
What should I do? I am now so fearful that I feel paranoid when going out, as if others are going to stab me with needles.
I even fear the food I eat outside.
I am afraid of infections when using the restroom.
I also worry about a sensation of something being stuck in my throat, fearing that I might have cancer.

What is happening to me? I used to never cry, but now I cry every day.
I currently have a job, but I am preparing for graduate school, and due to my psychological state, I cannot focus on studying at all.
This has resulted in even greater fear.
Please help me...
I am so scared, so scared, so scared.

Toto, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/02/20

Dr. Ye Yuki reply Psychiatry

Hello, I can imagine that your recent situation has been quite uncomfortable for you.
From what you have described, it seems to encompass a wide range of symptoms, including anxiety, health anxiety, and depression.
You appear to be able to articulate the entire process, but the question is: "Do you truly believe that you will contract HIV? On a scale of one to one hundred, how much do you believe this? What would it take for you to feel confident that you do not have HIV?"
I wonder if your experience with gynecological examinations has been beyond your initial expectations.
Which part of the process has made you worry about contracting HIV? Have you always been someone who tends to worry easily? In the situation you described, there are significant elements that align with health anxiety symptoms, particularly regarding HIV.
Health anxiety is a specific type of anxiety that leads individuals to constantly worry about having a serious illness, often those that are severe and difficult to detect early, such as cancer or HIV.
This worry has exceeded reasonable limits; for instance, you mentioned being concerned about getting infected even while eating or using the restroom.
In reality, these are not typical routes of HIV transmission, yet your persistent concern indicates that it has surpassed the level of worry that is warranted and beyond what you can control.
In light of this situation, I strongly recommend that you seek consultation with a psychiatrist at a hospital.
First, we cannot rely solely on online descriptions to diagnose your condition.
Secondly, given your current level of worry and anxiety, I believe that a combination of medication and psychological treatment could help you recover more quickly.
I do not want you to read this response and then worry that you have a serious mental illness.
After all, you should remind yourself that while "HIV" may not have a definitive treatment, "worrying about having HIV" is indeed treatable! Your situation is manageable, and I encourage you to face this issue head-on.
I wish you a speedy recovery.

Reply Date: 2006/02/20

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the depth of your feelings and experiences. From what you've described, it appears that you are experiencing overwhelming anxiety, which is manifesting in various physical and emotional symptoms, including unexplained tears, fear of illness, and social anxiety. These feelings can be debilitating and can significantly impact your daily life, relationships, and overall well-being.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that what you are experiencing is not uncommon, especially in the context of health anxiety. Health anxiety, or hypochondria, is characterized by an excessive preoccupation with having a serious illness, despite medical reassurance. This can lead to a cycle of fear and anxiety, where the more you worry about your health, the more physical symptoms you may experience, which in turn fuels your anxiety. This cycle can be very distressing and can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as avoiding social situations or intimate relationships, as you mentioned with your fiancé.

Your fear of contracting an illness, particularly after a medical examination, is a common response to anxiety. The mind can sometimes create worst-case scenarios, leading to heightened vigilance and fear of everyday situations, such as being in crowds or even being alone. This can also lead to physical symptoms, such as abdominal discomfort, which you have already experienced. It's crucial to understand that anxiety can manifest physically, and the symptoms you are feeling may not necessarily indicate a serious medical condition.

Given the intensity of your feelings and the impact they are having on your life, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the support and tools you need to manage your anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety disorders, as it helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping strategies. Additionally, medication may be an option to discuss with a psychiatrist if your anxiety is significantly impacting your daily functioning.

It's also important to practice self-care during this time. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, or gentle exercise, can help reduce anxiety levels. Journaling your thoughts and feelings, as you have been doing, can also be a therapeutic outlet. It allows you to express your emotions and may help you identify triggers for your anxiety.

Lastly, consider reaching out to supportive friends or family members who can provide a listening ear and help you feel less isolated in your experiences. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can alleviate some of the burdens you are carrying.

In conclusion, you are not alone in this struggle, and there is help available. Taking the step to seek professional support can be a significant turning point in your journey toward healing and regaining control over your life. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and doing so is a sign of strength. You deserve to feel better and to live a life free from the constraints of anxiety.

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