Sexual Health: Timing, Pain, and Myths in Relationships - Family Medicine

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Sexual issues


I would like to ask, when is the best time to have intercourse (with internal ejaculation) to minimize the risk of pregnancy? Will it be very painful for a girl during her first time? What about for the boy? How can you tell if she is a virgin?

Shun-ei, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/04/11

Dr. Lin Mingxing reply Family Medicine


Dear Director Lin Ming-Hsing of the Family Medicine Department at Tainan Hospital, Department of Health:
(1) The fertile period is when pregnancy is possible, and the truly safe period is roughly only one week before and after menstruation.

(2) Most individuals experience a considerable degree of pain, but it is not as severe as one might fear; males do not experience this.

(3) It is not possible to determine if she is a virgin, as activities such as cycling can also lead to hymenal rupture or injury.

Wishing you good health and all the best from Tainan Hospital.

Reply Date: 2006/04/11

More Info


Understanding sexual health is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship and making informed decisions about intimacy. When it comes to timing intercourse to minimize the risk of pregnancy, it’s essential to understand the menstrual cycle. The likelihood of conception is highest during the ovulation phase, which typically occurs about 14 days before the start of a woman’s next menstrual period. For women with a regular 28-day cycle, this would be around days 12 to 16. Engaging in unprotected intercourse during this window significantly increases the chances of pregnancy. Conversely, the days leading up to and following menstruation are generally considered to be lower risk for conception, although it’s important to note that sperm can survive in the female reproductive tract for up to five days, making it possible for pregnancy to occur even if intercourse happens just before ovulation.

Regarding the experience of pain during a woman's first sexual intercourse, it can vary significantly from person to person. Some women may experience discomfort or pain due to a variety of factors, including anxiety, lack of arousal, or the presence of the hymen, which may stretch or tear during first intercourse. It’s important for both partners to communicate openly about their feelings and comfort levels, and to ensure that there is adequate foreplay to promote arousal and lubrication, which can help reduce discomfort.

For men, the experience of pain during intercourse is less common, but it can occur due to various reasons such as anxiety, lack of arousal, or underlying medical conditions. It’s essential for both partners to feel comfortable and relaxed to enhance the overall experience.

As for determining whether a woman is a virgin, it’s important to note that there is no definitive physical marker that indicates virginity. The concept of virginity is often tied to cultural and personal beliefs rather than biological indicators. The presence or absence of an intact hymen is often mistakenly associated with virginity, but many factors can affect the hymen, including physical activity, tampon use, or medical examinations. Therefore, it is not a reliable indicator.

In relationships, myths and misconceptions about sexual health can lead to misunderstandings and anxiety. Open communication about sexual health, consent, and comfort levels is vital for a healthy sexual relationship. Partners should feel empowered to discuss their needs, boundaries, and any concerns they may have regarding sexual activity.

In summary, understanding the timing of intercourse in relation to the menstrual cycle can help in making informed decisions about pregnancy risk. Pain during first intercourse can vary and is influenced by multiple factors, while the concept of virginity is more complex than physical indicators. Encouraging open dialogue between partners about their experiences and feelings can foster a healthier and more fulfilling sexual relationship.

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