Toddler Behavioral Issues: When to Seek Help - Pediatrics

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Childhood psychoneurosis?


A two-year-and-four-month-old child is already able to use the toilet independently (does not urinate inappropriately and can hold urine), yet he insists on us putting on a diaper for him.
If we do not help him with the diaper, he will cry for a long time until we do.
He is very particular about cleanliness; whenever he gets his mouth or hands dirty, he will definitely use a tissue to clean them.
Some people think my child might have obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
Additionally, when he is scolded, he intentionally throws things while sneaking glances at our reactions, as if to say, "Since you don't love me anymore, I won't be a good child." I have heard of the term "childhood psychoneurosis," but I am unsure if my child should see a pediatric psychiatrist.
Four months ago, my second child was born, and I have been less attentive to my eldest, which may have led to his behavioral changes.
We have not used any harsh methods for toilet training, nor have we scolded him for urinating on the floor.
Why does he still resist giving up diapers and the bottle? Please help, thank you! I studied nursing, but I have realized that what I learned is not enough when it comes to parenting.
Sigh.

Xiao Lan Mama, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/04/17

Dr. Zhang Wenwang reply Pediatrics


Children's behavioral performance is significantly related to their environment.
Pediatric mental health specialists not only address the issues faced by children but also consider parental factors.
It is advisable for parents to seek the opinions of pediatric mental health professionals as well.

Reply Date: 2006/04/17

More Info


Understanding toddler behavioral issues can be quite challenging, especially when parents are trying to navigate the complexities of child development and emotional needs. In your case, your two-year-four-month-old child is exhibiting behaviors that may be concerning, such as requesting to wear diapers despite being potty trained, showing signs of cleanliness that could be interpreted as obsessive, and reacting to discipline in ways that suggest emotional distress.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that toddlers are in a critical stage of emotional and psychological development. They are learning to assert their independence while also grappling with feelings of insecurity, especially when there are significant changes in their environment, such as the arrival of a new sibling. This transition can lead to what is often referred to as "regressive behavior," where a child may revert to earlier stages of development as a way of coping with stress or anxiety. In your case, the birth of your second child may have contributed to your older child feeling less secure and more in need of reassurance, which could explain his desire to wear diapers again.

The behavior of wanting to wear a diaper, despite being potty trained, can be a form of regression. It may not necessarily indicate a serious issue but rather a way for your child to seek comfort and security. Children often express their feelings through their actions, and in this case, your child may be looking for a way to regain a sense of control or comfort in a situation that feels overwhelming to him.

Regarding the cleanliness behavior, while it may seem like a form of "obsessive" behavior, it’s essential to consider that toddlers are naturally curious and are learning about their bodies and their environment. They often mimic behaviors they observe in adults, and this can sometimes manifest as a strong desire to keep things clean. However, if this behavior is causing significant distress or interfering with daily activities, it may be worth discussing with a pediatrician or child psychologist.

The reaction of throwing things when disciplined indicates that your child is testing boundaries and seeking a reaction from you. This behavior is common in toddlers as they learn about cause and effect, and it can be a way for them to express frustration or seek attention. It’s crucial to respond to these behaviors with understanding and to reinforce positive behaviors rather than focusing solely on the negative actions.

As for whether to seek help from a child mental health professional, it may be beneficial if these behaviors persist or escalate. A child psychologist can provide insights into your child’s behavior and help you develop strategies to address these issues effectively. They can also assess whether there are underlying emotional or behavioral concerns that need to be addressed.

In summary, while your child’s behaviors may be concerning, they are not uncommon for a toddler, especially in the context of a new sibling. It’s essential to provide reassurance, maintain routines, and offer emotional support during this transitional period. If you feel overwhelmed or if the behaviors continue to escalate, seeking professional guidance can be a helpful step in ensuring your child’s emotional well-being. Remember, parenting is a learning process, and it’s okay to seek help when needed.

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