Doctor, please help me, I'm at my wit's end?
Hello, doctor.
I feel like I want to hit my head against a wall because I can't take it anymore.
I've been seeing a psychiatrist for over a year, but my condition fluctuates between good and bad.
My memory has worsened, and I have sleep disturbances, experiencing nightmares every night.
Sometimes, when my emotions surge, I throw things, and I've even thought about suicide.
I've become less talkative and often space out; I don't want to do anything.
I don't even know what I'm living for or what I'm pursuing.
Friends have told me that sometimes they find my personality very extreme and changeable, and I don't know what's wrong with me.
I really dislike myself like this, but the psychiatrist only advises me not to overthink and to relax, which I find impossible.
The more I tell myself to relax, the harder it becomes.
In February of this year, I had a dispute with someone, and they angrily said they wished they could slap me.
That hurt me deeply because they had already verbally harmed me twice before.
Now it's May, and I'm still feeling very bad emotionally, and I've been having ongoing physical issues.
I often take sick leave from work, which affects my job and my family.
Nothing seems to be going smoothly, and I feel frustrated.
This emotional turmoil, accompanied by headaches, has been haunting me until now.
What should I do? I feel like I can't hold on any longer...
Please help me, doctor.
Xiao Yu, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/05/03
Dr. Su Zongwei reply Psychiatry
Hello, Xiaoyu.
It seems that your issues are related to emotions and interpersonal relationships, and your cognitive abilities are becoming somewhat confused.
It is important to visit a psychiatrist as soon as possible to explain your situation.
If you find it difficult to articulate your feelings during the appointment, you can organize your thoughts and write down your condition beforehand.
This will help the psychiatrist quickly understand your situation and make appropriate adjustments to your medication or recommend psychotherapy.
Please do not give up on communicating with your doctor.
With timely treatment, your condition will gradually improve.
Stay strong!
Reply Date: 2006/05/03
More Info
I'm truly sorry to hear about the overwhelming pain and distress you're experiencing. It sounds like you're going through an incredibly challenging time, and it's important to acknowledge that seeking help is a courageous step. Based on your description, it seems that you're dealing with a complex interplay of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and possibly trauma-related symptoms.
Firstly, it's crucial to understand that mental health struggles can manifest in various ways, including emotional instability, memory issues, sleep disturbances, and even physical symptoms like headaches. The feelings of wanting to harm yourself or feeling like you're at the end of your rope are serious and should not be taken lightly. It's essential to reach out to a mental health professional who can provide the support and guidance you need.
You mentioned that you've been seeing a psychiatrist for over a year, but your condition fluctuates. This is not uncommon in mental health treatment, as finding the right combination of therapies and medications can take time. It's important to communicate openly with your psychiatrist about your current feelings and experiences. If you feel that your current treatment isn't effective, don't hesitate to ask for a reassessment or a second opinion. Sometimes, a different approach or a new medication can make a significant difference.
In addition to medication, therapy can be incredibly beneficial. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety and depression, helping you to identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is another option that focuses on emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness, which might be helpful given your experiences with intense emotions and interpersonal conflicts.
You also mentioned feeling extreme emotions and having difficulty relaxing. This is often a sign of heightened anxiety or stress. Techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, and grounding exercises can help you manage these feelings. They can provide you with tools to cope when emotions feel overwhelming. Engaging in regular physical activity, maintaining a healthy diet, and ensuring you have a consistent sleep routine can also contribute positively to your mental health.
It's understandable that you feel frustrated when advised to "just relax." This can feel dismissive when you're in the midst of a crisis. Instead, focus on small, manageable steps you can take each day. This might include setting aside time for activities you once enjoyed, even if they don't feel appealing right now. Sometimes, just starting an activity can help lift your mood.
Regarding the incident in February that deeply affected you, it's essential to process these feelings. If you haven't already, consider discussing this event in therapy. It might be beneficial to explore how this experience has impacted your self-esteem and emotional state.
Lastly, if you're ever in a crisis or feeling suicidal, please reach out for immediate help. Contact a crisis hotline, go to the nearest emergency room, or call a trusted friend or family member. You don't have to go through this alone, and there are people who want to help you.
In summary, while it may feel overwhelming right now, there are paths to healing and support available to you. Please continue to seek help, communicate your needs, and remember that recovery is a journey that often requires patience and persistence. You are not alone in this, and there is hope for a brighter future.
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