How to Encourage Your Dad to Seek Help for Mental Health Issues?

How to get Dad to seek medical care?

Hello, my parents have always had a troubled relationship, with constant arguments.
In recent years, my father has been suspicious that my mother is having an affair (in fact, he has had these suspicions for over 20 years).
Despite evidence to the contrary, he remains convinced of this.
During fights, he resorts to threats, claiming he will burn the house down, and he even calls family and friends to complain, regardless of the time, including making international calls.
After retiring last year, his behavior has worsened; he frequently expresses his unhappiness, feels that their marriage is terrible, and has resorted to fortune-telling, stalking, and recording conversations.
Recently, he even hired a private investigator and checked phone records, causing great distress for everyone involved.

A few days ago, my mother went out without informing him, and when she returned home, he pushed her and threatened to break her arms and legs if she retaliated.
My mother fled to the street, and my father called the neighbors and the police, claiming that my mother was getting plastic surgery and was being led away by a man.
I have researched this behavior and wonder if it could be considered pathological.
What if my father has no insight into his condition? How can I persuade him to seek medical help? I have heard about home treatment; what does that entail? How can I facilitate this? Can family members make appointments on his behalf, even if we are not the ones directly affected? Although there has not yet been any actual physical harm, the verbal threats have made us very anxious.
What can we do?

Xiao Nü Er, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/05/12

Dr. Chen Wenyu reply Psychiatry

Dear daughter,
Based on your description in the letter, it seems that your father is suffering from "delusional disorder," specifically "jealous type delusion," where jealousy implies "faithfulness." Patients with delusional disorders are unlikely to seek medical help on their own, let alone engage in psychological counseling or treatment.
As for pharmacological treatment, it must be taken daily, and it usually takes at least half a month to see any effects, with continued medication necessary for effectiveness.
Psychiatry is a very unique field; involuntary hospitalization is considered an infringement on personal freedom, so both police and medical professionals handle such situations with caution.
If the individual does not exhibit violent behavior or tendencies, or suicidal behavior or tendencies, they cannot be compelled to undergo treatment.
Therefore, the only option is to wait until a problem arises and then call the police for involuntary hospitalization.
However, before that, you can seek assistance from a public health nurse at a health center to gather some basic information, which will facilitate any future involuntary hospitalization.
Thank you for your letter!

Reply Date: 2006/05/12

More Info

Encouraging a loved one, especially a parent, to seek help for mental health issues can be a challenging and delicate process. Based on the situation you've described, it seems that your father is exhibiting signs of significant distress and possibly a mental health disorder, particularly with his longstanding suspicions and aggressive behavior. Here are some steps you can take to encourage him to seek help:

1. Understand the Signs and Symptoms
Your father's behavior, including persistent paranoia, threats of violence, and extreme jealousy, suggests he may be experiencing a mental health issue, possibly a delusional disorder or another form of psychosis. Understanding these symptoms can help you approach the situation with empathy and clarity.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place
Timing is crucial when discussing sensitive topics. Look for a moment when your father seems calm and receptive. A private, quiet setting can help facilitate a more open and honest conversation without distractions or interruptions.

3. Express Concern, Not Judgment
When you talk to your father, express your concern for his well-being rather than criticizing his behavior. Use "I" statements to communicate how his actions affect you and the family. For example, "I feel worried when I see you upset and acting this way. I care about you and want to help."

4. Encourage Open Dialogue
Invite him to share his feelings and thoughts. Sometimes, individuals with mental health issues feel isolated or misunderstood. Listening to him without judgment can help him feel supported and may make him more open to seeking help.

5. Suggest Professional Help Gently
Introduce the idea of seeking help by framing it as a way to improve his quality of life. You might say, "Talking to someone who understands these feelings could really help you find peace." Emphasize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

6. Provide Information on Resources
If he is open to the idea, provide him with information about mental health professionals, such as therapists or psychiatrists. You can also mention home-based treatment options, which involve professionals coming to the home to provide care, especially if he is resistant to visiting a clinic.

7. Involve Other Family Members
If possible, involve other family members in the conversation. Sometimes, hearing similar concerns from multiple loved ones can help him realize that this is a serious issue that needs addressing.

8. Consider Legal and Safety Measures
Given the threats of violence, it’s crucial to prioritize safety. If you feel that there is an imminent risk of harm to your mother or anyone else, it may be necessary to contact local authorities or mental health crisis services. In some cases, involuntary commitment may be required if he poses a danger to himself or others.

9. Educate Yourself and Family Members
Understanding mental health issues can empower you and your family to approach the situation more effectively. Resources from mental health organizations can provide valuable insights into how to handle these discussions.

10. Seek Support for Yourself and Family
Dealing with a loved one's mental health issues can be emotionally draining. Consider seeking support for yourself and your family, whether through counseling or support groups, to help manage the stress and anxiety that may arise from the situation.

Conclusion
Encouraging your father to seek help for his mental health issues will require patience, empathy, and a strategic approach. While you cannot force him to seek help, you can create an environment that fosters understanding and support. Remember that your safety and the safety of your mother is paramount, and do not hesitate to seek professional help if the situation escalates.

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