Emotional issues & insomnia
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for five years.
Over the past two years, she has changed a lot, and I have been unable to pinpoint a good reason for it.
Her personality and temper are not like they used to be; she seems indifferent and unresponsive.
I often worry about our relationship and have suppressed my feelings for a long time.
Last year, all my emotions erupted, and I felt a bit out of control, even thinking about harming her.
I realized that such behavior is unacceptable.
At that time, my whole body was trembling (very agitated), which has contributed to my insomnia issues for the past three years.
Recently, I decided to break up with her, but I am unsure if she will accept it.
I find it very difficult to control my emotional stress (irritable type).
I feel pushed to the brink of wanting to commit suicide.
It’s so painful! I still care about her a lot, but she does not want to communicate or discuss our issues, which has led to more and more problems, making it hard to get along.
After the breakup, what methods can I use to avoid thinking about the past? Thinking about it makes me sad.
I want to adjust my emotions because I still need to move forward and live my life.
Am I experiencing schizophrenia or depression? I previously saw a psychiatrist who prescribed a sedative (STILNOX).
I took it a few times, but it lost its effectiveness.
I took it before bed, but even after taking it, I just lay there tossing and turning, overthinking everything.
My sleep is now about three hours a day at most, or I might go three to four days without sleep.
I am very worried about my health.
My thoughts are very chaotic...
Hao tongku a, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/10/03
Dr. Li Zhengfeng reply Psychiatry
Hello: First of all, thank you for your letter.
According to what you mentioned in your correspondence, it is not a state of schizophrenia but rather a state of depression.
After a breakup, it is common to experience insomnia and feelings of sadness.
It may be helpful to temporarily shift your focus to positive activities such as academics or career pursuits.
In your leisure time, engaging in exercise or appropriate recreational activities can also aid in gradually overcoming emotional lows.
If necessary, seeking help from a psychiatrist for medication treatment may be beneficial.
I wish you a swift return to your previous happiness.
Thank you.
Reply Date: 2006/10/03
More Info
Navigating emotional struggles and insomnia, especially in the context of a tumultuous relationship, can be incredibly challenging. Based on your description, it seems you are experiencing a significant amount of emotional distress, which is compounded by insomnia and feelings of anger and frustration towards your girlfriend. This situation can lead to a cycle of negative emotions and physical symptoms, which can be overwhelming.
Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that the changes in your girlfriend's behavior, as well as your own emotional responses, can create a lot of tension in the relationship. Relationships often go through phases, and sometimes one partner may feel neglected or misunderstood, leading to feelings of resentment and anger. It sounds like you have been holding onto these feelings for a long time, which can lead to emotional outbursts and even thoughts of self-harm. This is a serious concern and indicates that you may benefit from professional support.
Your experience of insomnia, where you struggle to sleep for more than a few hours a night, is a common symptom of anxiety and depression. When we are under emotional stress, our bodies can react in various ways, including physical symptoms like trembling, difficulty breathing, and racing thoughts. These symptoms can create a feedback loop where the anxiety about not being able to sleep leads to more anxiety, making it even harder to rest. It’s crucial to address both the emotional and physical aspects of your distress.
You mentioned that you have previously seen a mental health professional and were prescribed a sedative (Stilnox). While medications can be helpful, they are often most effective when combined with therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for addressing anxiety and insomnia. It can help you identify negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping strategies. Additionally, therapy can provide a safe space to express your feelings and work through the complexities of your relationship.
Regarding your thoughts of self-harm and suicide, it’s vital to take these feelings seriously. If you ever feel overwhelmed or in crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional or a crisis hotline in your area. You deserve support, and there are people who can help you navigate these feelings.
As for moving forward after a breakup, it’s natural to feel sadness and grief over the loss of a relationship, especially one that has been significant in your life for five years. Here are some strategies to help you cope:
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve: It’s okay to feel sad and to miss your girlfriend. Allow yourself to process these emotions rather than suppressing them.
2. Engage in Self-Care: Focus on activities that promote your well-being. This could include exercise, spending time with friends, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy.
3. Establish a Routine: A consistent daily routine can help provide structure and stability, which can be particularly beneficial when dealing with insomnia.
4. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety.
5. Limit Exposure to Triggers: If certain memories or situations trigger feelings of sadness or anger, try to limit your exposure to them as you heal.
6. Seek Professional Help: If you find that your emotional struggles persist or worsen, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to seek help along the way. You are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to support you as you navigate your emotions and work towards a healthier state of mind.
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