Premature Ejaculation: A Guide for Newlyweds

Sexual function

During intercourse with my husband, it often lasts only about three minutes, and we have sex at most five times a month.
We are newlyweds and have known each other for two years, during which we have engaged in sexual activity only when we meet once a week.
Each time, I feel very disappointed, but I am hesitant to discuss it with him for fear of hurting his feelings.
I can only make jokes about how we don't do housework often enough to be diligent about having children.
However, I still don't dare to bring up the issue of his lack of stamina.
He always says he is very tired from working until 8 or 9 PM, then playing video games online, and sometimes having friends over for drinks, going to bed around 2 or 3 AM, so he can't engage in sex frequently.
Is this considered premature ejaculation? He has habits of smoking, drinking alcohol, and chewing betel nut, and he has elevated levels of uric acid, cholesterol, triglycerides, and alanine aminotransferase.

QQ, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/11/25

Dr. Lin Wenxu reply Urology

First of all, I apologize for the delay in responding to your question.
Based on your description, your husband does seem to have issues with endurance, which is often related to psychological factors (e.g., it may be associated with heightened arousal).
This situation can be improved through medications that help suppress impulses and through physiological feedback training (note: currently, there are no particularly effective medications available).
I recommend that you and your husband visit a urology clinic for a consultation with a physician; I believe this situation can be improved.

Additionally, you mentioned that your husband has habits of smoking, drinking alcohol, and chewing betel nut.
I sincerely advise you to encourage him to quit these habits and normalize his lifestyle, as this is better for overall health (although it may not be directly related to endurance, it is significantly correlated with long-term health).

Reply Date: 2006/11/25

More Info

Premature ejaculation (PE) is a common sexual dysfunction that affects many men, and it can be particularly concerning for newlyweds who are navigating their sexual relationship. Based on your description, it seems that your husband is experiencing ejaculation within approximately three minutes of penetration, which can indeed be classified as premature ejaculation if it occurs consistently. The condition is defined as ejaculation that occurs with minimal sexual stimulation before, during, or shortly after penetration, leading to distress or interpersonal difficulty.

There are several factors that can contribute to premature ejaculation, including psychological factors such as anxiety, stress, or relationship issues, as well as physiological factors like hormonal imbalances, nerve sensitivity, or underlying health conditions. In your husband's case, his lifestyle choices, including smoking, alcohol consumption, and late-night habits, could also play a role in his sexual performance. Additionally, elevated levels of uric acid, cholesterol, and triglycerides may indicate underlying health issues that could affect his overall well-being and sexual health.

It's important to approach this topic with sensitivity and understanding. Open communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to intimate matters. While it may feel uncomfortable to discuss, expressing your feelings and concerns in a supportive manner can help both of you address the issue together. You might consider framing the conversation around mutual satisfaction and the desire to enhance your intimacy rather than focusing solely on the problem of premature ejaculation.

There are various treatment options available for premature ejaculation, ranging from behavioral techniques to medical interventions. Behavioral techniques may include the "stop-start" method or the "squeeze" technique, which can help increase control over ejaculation. Additionally, there are topical anesthetics that can reduce sensitivity and delay ejaculation, as well as oral medications that may help in some cases.

If your husband is open to it, consulting a healthcare professional, such as a urologist or a sexual health specialist, could provide valuable insights and tailored treatment options. They can assess his overall health, discuss lifestyle modifications, and explore potential therapies that could improve his sexual performance and satisfaction.

In summary, while your husband's experience may be indicative of premature ejaculation, it is essential to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. By addressing the issue together and seeking professional guidance if necessary, you can work towards a more fulfilling sexual relationship. Remember, sexual health is an integral part of overall well-being, and taking proactive steps can lead to positive changes for both of you.

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