Is It Depression or Just Heartache? Your Feelings - Psychiatry

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Have you changed your depression?


I recently developed feelings for a classmate.
We don't interact much at school, but we chat almost every day through instant messaging.
However, whenever he comes online and doesn't message me or replies slowly, I start to feel upset, even to the point where I don't want to go to school and prefer to be alone, avoiding contact with others.
I've even had thoughts of self-harm, and I just want to feel happier.
Yet, I find it difficult to be happy.

Xiao Shang, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/12/07

Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry


Dear Xiaoshang,
I feel that your recent correspondence indicates you may be experiencing feelings of depression due to an unrequited love encountered online.
Every young person seeks emotional support, but such feelings are often elusive and difficult to grasp, especially in online relationships, which can frequently diverge significantly from reality.

Do you have difficulties making friends in real life, or do you find it challenging to connect with friends of the opposite sex? It may be beneficial for you to actively seek out a trusted mentor or close friends to discuss your feelings.
This can help you adjust your negative thoughts and emotions, allowing the sunshine in your heart to shine through once again.
You can also utilize the resources available through your school's counseling services or speak with "Teacher Zhang."
If you continue to struggle with these feelings, please consider consulting a psychiatrist at a specialized hospital.
You can definitely overcome this emotional haze.
The Tainan Hospital of the Department of Health is concerned about your well-being.

Reply Date: 2006/12/07

More Info


It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and confused about your emotions, especially when it comes to distinguishing between normal heartache and clinical depression. The feelings you are experiencing—sadness, withdrawal from social interactions, and even thoughts of self-harm—are significant and should not be taken lightly.
Firstly, it's important to recognize that emotional pain, such as the heartache from a crush or unreciprocated feelings, can indeed lead to feelings of sadness and isolation. However, when these feelings become persistent and start to interfere with your daily life, such as not wanting to go to school or having suicidal thoughts, it may indicate a deeper issue, potentially depression.

Depression is characterized by a range of symptoms that can include persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities once enjoyed, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, and difficulty concentrating. The key difference between heartache and depression is the duration and intensity of these feelings. Heartache typically arises from specific events or relationships and may improve over time, while depression can be more pervasive and affect various aspects of life.

Given your description of feeling increasingly sad, wanting to isolate yourself, and having thoughts of self-harm, it is crucial to seek help. These feelings can be indicative of depression, and addressing them early can lead to better outcomes. It's essential to talk to someone who can help, such as a mental health professional. They can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and help you understand what you are going through.

In the United States, mental health services are designed to be confidential, and healthcare providers are obligated to protect your privacy. This means you can discuss your feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment or breach of confidentiality. Seeking help from a school counselor or a therapist can be a good first step. They can offer support and may suggest coping strategies or treatment options, which could include therapy, medication, or a combination of both.

Additionally, consider reaching out to trusted friends or family members about how you're feeling. Sometimes, sharing your experiences with someone who cares can provide relief and help you feel less alone.
It's also important to practice self-care during this challenging time. Engaging in activities that you enjoy, maintaining a routine, and ensuring you get enough rest can help improve your mood. Physical activity, even just a short walk, can also have a positive effect on your mental health.

In summary, while heartache is a normal part of life, the intensity and duration of your feelings suggest that you may be experiencing depression. It's vital to seek help from a mental health professional who can provide the support and guidance you need. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are people who want to help you through these tough times.

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