What step should be taken?
Hello Dr.
Zheng,
Since childhood, I have had a sensitive constitution and poor gastrointestinal health even before my condition developed.
My grandfather passed away from stomach cancer, and my father has issues with gastric ulcers.
For example, eating eggs causes me to have gas.
Several decades ago, I developed gastric and duodenal ulcers, and after meals, I often experience bloating, especially after consuming legumes, eggs, dairy products, or fermented foods, leading to gas throughout the day.
I have consulted both Western and traditional Chinese medicine, but doctors have said there is no cure, and I should focus on relaxation and maintaining a regular lifestyle.
Currently, I am studying part-time while working, which means I often stay up late.
I have mutual feelings with a classmate, but I feel embarrassed about my gas issues during class, wishing I could disappear.
I frequently run to the restroom during lectures, and when classmates ask why, I can only say I need to urinate.
After my stomach empties and I return to class, the gas starts again.
My classmates joke about it, calling me scary.
I know this is rude, but I can't help it; I've sought medical help, but my condition remains frustrating.
He has shown interest in me for a long time, but due to my gas problems, I hesitate to talk to him.
Although he finds my situation unpleasant, he still wants to be with me.
Recently, I have shed countless tears over feeling rejected because of this issue, and I truly want to be with him.
However, I worry whether he can truly accept and understand this flaw of mine.
How should I cope with this situation? Thank you!
lily, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2009/05/21
Dr. Zheng Jingming reply Psychiatry
Hello: Regarding your concerns about gas issues, it is generally advisable to first consult an internist.
Only if there are no medical problems should psychological issues be considered.
You mentioned that you have seen many doctors; I recommend visiting a medical center to consult a gastroenterologist for a thorough examination and treatment.
If no internal medical issues are found, it may be beneficial to see a psychiatrist.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and it is important to face and accept the challenges posed by your current health condition.
Focus on addressing the medical issues as mentioned above.
You may also want to communicate your concerns and feelings to your boyfriend and ask if he is willing to help you resolve this issue together.
Direct and sincere communication is the best form of communication.
A partner who is willing to be in a relationship will respect each other's differences and the imperfections that cannot be changed.
This is my personal opinion for your consideration.
Psychiatrist Zheng Jingming
Reply Date: 2009/05/21
More Info
Navigating relationships can be challenging, especially when compounded by physical health issues such as digestive problems. Your situation highlights the intersection of emotional well-being and physical health, which can significantly impact your social interactions and self-esteem.
Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that your sensitivity to certain foods and the resulting digestive issues are not uncommon. Many individuals experience gastrointestinal discomfort, which can be exacerbated by stress, anxiety, or irregular eating habits. Given your family history of gastrointestinal diseases, it’s understandable that you might be particularly sensitive to these issues. The fact that you have sought medical advice from both Western and traditional medicine shows your proactive approach to managing your health.
The embarrassment you feel due to your digestive issues, especially in a social setting like school, is valid. It’s common for individuals with similar conditions to feel self-conscious, particularly when they perceive that their health issues might affect their relationships. The fear of being judged or ridiculed can lead to withdrawal from social interactions, which can further exacerbate feelings of loneliness and anxiety.
In terms of your relationship with your classmate, it’s clear that there is mutual interest, but your concerns about your digestive issues are creating a barrier. It’s crucial to remember that a healthy relationship is built on understanding and acceptance. If this person is genuinely interested in you, they will likely be more understanding of your health challenges than you anticipate. Open communication can be key here. While it may feel daunting, sharing your concerns about your digestive issues with him could foster a deeper connection and understanding. You might find that he is more supportive than you expect.
Additionally, managing your digestive health can also help alleviate some of the anxiety associated with it. Here are a few strategies that might help:
1. Dietary Adjustments: Keeping a food diary can help you identify specific foods that trigger your symptoms. You might want to consider consulting a nutritionist who can help you create a balanced diet that minimizes discomfort while still being enjoyable.
2. Stress Management: Since you mentioned that you are currently balancing work and studies, it’s essential to find ways to manage stress. Techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga can be beneficial in reducing anxiety, which in turn may help with your digestive issues.
3. Regular Routine: Establishing a regular eating and sleeping schedule can also help your digestive system function more effectively. Try to avoid late-night studying or eating, as this can exacerbate digestive problems.
4. Seeking Professional Help: If your digestive issues continue to significantly impact your quality of life, consider seeking a gastroenterologist who specializes in functional gastrointestinal disorders. They may offer insights or treatments that have not been previously explored.
5. Building Confidence: Work on building your self-esteem and confidence. Engaging in activities that make you feel good about yourself can help you feel more comfortable in social situations. Surround yourself with supportive friends who understand your situation.
6. Therapeutic Support: If feelings of anxiety or depression persist, consider speaking with a mental health professional. They can provide coping strategies and support as you navigate both your health issues and interpersonal relationships.
In conclusion, while your digestive issues are a part of your life, they do not define you or your ability to connect with others. By taking proactive steps to manage your health and communicating openly with those around you, you can foster more meaningful relationships and improve your overall well-being. Remember that everyone has their challenges, and finding someone who can accept and understand yours is a significant step toward building a fulfilling relationship.
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