Do I Have Depression? Symptoms and Seeking Help

I really want to know—do I have depression?

I am currently sixteen years old and studying in Form 5 (high school) in Hong Kong.
Since I have an interest in psychology and feel that something is not quite right with me, I decided to look online to see if I might have depression.
I have the following symptoms, but I am unsure if I am suffering from depression—please let me know!
- Insomnia: I often think about death or how I am not good enough.
- Excessive guilt: I feel useless and like the worst person in the world.
- Extreme pessimism: I definitely wasn't like this a year ago.
- Memory decline: This might be due to not reciting things as much.
- Suicidal thoughts: I have them almost every night, but I would never act on them because I want to grow up and support my mom! Sometimes I forget about the need to take care of her.
- Lack of confidence: I am afraid of being looked at directly by others.
These issues have persisted for about six months, with certain symptoms mainly occurring at night (although I did experience a month of improvement, from mid-November to early December).
However, in the psychological tests I took, some indicated I was below the moderate depression level, while others were just at the level of depression.
Nevertheless, the overall score for depression is still high!
I have also discovered that my feelings of inferiority are even more severe! Here’s how it goes: the maximum score is 30 points; lower than 23 points indicates depression, and lower than 22 points indicates inferiority.
My scores are: depression: 13 points; inferiority: 9 points! However, all my friends believe that I must not be troubled, possibly because I appear very cheerful during the day in my class.
I can’t seem to express my worries except for my lack of confidence.

When I think about death day and night, I often feel that living is too difficult—why should I have to survive? Do I need to see a doctor? Thank you for reading my letter!

~Kuramacat~, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2002/01/21

Dr. Huang Xiangxiong reply Psychiatry

Based on your description, it seems that you may not be experiencing clinical depression, but you are exhibiting depressive symptoms.
Many people encounter feelings of depression at times, often triggered by setbacks or difficulties in emotional self-regulation, especially during transitions between different life stages.
I recommend that you first speak with a school counselor.
If the issues persist and remain unresolved, consider seeking a comprehensive evaluation from a psychiatrist, who can provide you with appropriate recommendations based on your specific situation.

Reply Date: 2002/01/21

More Info

It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and I want to commend you for reaching out and seeking information about your mental health. Based on the symptoms you’ve described, it’s important to take your feelings seriously and consider the possibility that you may be experiencing depression.

Understanding Depression
Depression is a complex mental health condition that can manifest in various ways. Common symptoms include:
1. Persistent Sadness or Low Mood: Feeling sad, empty, or hopeless most of the day.

2. Loss of Interest: A marked decrease in interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyable.

3. Sleep Disturbances: This can include insomnia (difficulty sleeping) or hypersomnia (sleeping too much).

4. Feelings of Worthlessness or Guilt: Experiencing excessive guilt or feeling like a burden to others.

5. Cognitive Difficulties: This includes trouble concentrating, making decisions, or experiencing memory problems.

6. Suicidal Thoughts: Having thoughts about wanting to die or feeling that life is not worth living.

From what you’ve shared, it seems you are experiencing several of these symptoms, such as insomnia, feelings of worthlessness, persistent sadness, and suicidal thoughts. It’s particularly concerning that you mentioned having thoughts of death almost every night. While you express that you wouldn’t act on these thoughts because of your responsibilities, it’s crucial to address these feelings seriously.

Seeking Help
Given your age and the severity of your symptoms, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. Here are some steps you can take:
1. Talk to a Trusted Adult: This could be a parent, teacher, school counselor, or another adult you trust. Sharing your feelings with someone who can support you is an important first step.

2. Visit a Mental Health Professional: A psychologist or psychiatrist can provide a proper assessment and diagnosis. They can help you understand your feelings and develop a treatment plan, which may include therapy and possibly medication.

3. School Counseling Services: Many schools have counseling services available. A school counselor can provide support and help you navigate your feelings in a safe environment.

4. Emergency Help: If you ever feel like you might act on your suicidal thoughts, it’s crucial to seek immediate help. In Hong Kong, you can contact the Samaritans at 2896 0000, which offers a 24-hour helpline.

Coping Strategies
While seeking professional help is essential, there are also some strategies you can try to help manage your feelings in the meantime:
1. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to express what you’re going through.

2. Physical Activity: Engaging in regular physical activity can help improve your mood and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.

3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help reduce stress and improve your emotional well-being.

4. Limit Stressors: If possible, try to identify and limit exposure to situations or people that increase your stress or negative feelings.

5. Connect with Others: Even if it feels difficult, try to maintain connections with friends and family. Social support is crucial for mental health.

Conclusion
You are not alone in this, and there is help available. It’s commendable that you are taking the initiative to understand your mental health. Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Please consider speaking to a mental health professional who can provide you with the support and guidance you need. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to feel better.

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