Navigating Mental Health Challenges After a Family Loss

Parenting issues

Hello, doctor.
My mother-in-law suddenly passed away in January 2011.
The daughter who was originally cared for by her has gone from crying every day to running away from home twice (on August 30, 2011, and October 6, 2011).
I can't take it anymore; I feel like I want to die.
If I die, will she stop running away from home? She says she really hates me.
I'm very angry but I don't dare to scold or hit her because I'm afraid she will run away again.
Recently, I really feel like I don't want to breathe anymore.
Please help me.
My daughter only wants to play online games because she says the people online are the only ones who treat her well.
Mrs.
Jiang.

Jiang Tai Tai, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2011/10/09

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, Mrs.
Jiang.
Please take care of yourself first.
The rebellion of adolescents against their parents is usually just a transitional phase.
The only concern is to avoid causing irreparable harm during this period.
To persuade your child, you should first try to understand their thoughts and create a warm and supportive atmosphere at home, providing them with care and understanding.
It seems you are under a lot of pressure; caring for your daughter is not solely your responsibility.
Other relatives can also help, and the more support and care your child receives, the stronger the protective influence will be.
Many times, internet addiction is a form of escape from reality.
If you can help your child feel the warmth and harmony of the family, I believe most children would be willing to return to real life.
Wishing you all the best.
Keep going.

Reply Date: 2011/10/09

More Info

I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing after the loss of your mother-in-law. Grief can manifest in many ways, and it sounds like your daughter is struggling significantly with her emotions. It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed, especially when your daughter's behavior is causing you distress.
First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge that grief is a complex process that affects everyone differently. Your daughter’s reactions, including her crying and running away, are common responses to loss, especially if she had a close relationship with her grandmother. The fact that she finds solace in online gaming suggests she may be seeking an escape from her feelings of sadness and frustration.
It's crucial to approach this situation with empathy and understanding. Your daughter may not fully comprehend her emotions or how to express them appropriately. Instead of viewing her actions as a rejection of you, try to see them as her way of coping with her grief. It might help to have open conversations with her about her feelings, allowing her to express her anger and sadness without fear of judgment.
In addition, consider seeking professional help for both you and your daughter. A therapist or counselor can provide a safe space for both of you to explore your feelings and develop healthier coping strategies. Family therapy could also be beneficial, as it can help improve communication and understanding within your family unit.
You mentioned feeling like you want to give up, which is concerning. It's essential to prioritize your mental health during this challenging time. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it might be helpful to talk to someone about your feelings, whether it's a friend, family member, or mental health professional. Remember, it's okay to ask for help.
Engaging in self-care is also vital. Make sure you're taking time for yourself, whether that means pursuing hobbies, exercising, or simply taking a moment to breathe and reflect. Your well-being is crucial not only for you but also for your daughter, as she needs your support during this difficult time.

Lastly, consider creating a supportive environment at home. Encourage open discussions about grief and loss, and allow your daughter to share her memories of her grandmother. This can help her process her feelings and may even strengthen your bond as you navigate this journey together.

In summary, navigating mental health challenges after a family loss is undoubtedly difficult, but with the right support and resources, both you and your daughter can find a path toward healing. Don't hesitate to reach out for help, and remember that you are not alone in this journey.

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