Overcoming Anxiety in Helping Professions: Strategies for Confidence

Nervous personality

Hello, Doctor: I previously asked a question ^-^ I've been dealing with a nervous personality for over 10 years.
As a helper (special education teacher), I passed my certification exam in my first year (I had been preparing for the general teacher exam for many years).
How can I adjust? In group supervision, my teacher mentioned that my nervous personality makes things difficult for me, as if everything is very serious, and I feel powerless when I see each case...
This is indeed my current situation.
The teacher said he could only touch on it briefly, and that personal growth is an individual journey.

I feel silently sad inside because I don't understand why I get so nervous, often focusing on myself and worrying about how others perceive me, such as whether I'm too cold as a special education teacher.
I find it hard to relax during the two classes I have free time.
(However, sometimes I don't take long to record notes, and my work efficiency isn't bad.) It seems I need to fill my time to prove I'm doing something.
Sometimes, my mind feels overwhelmed with worries about my lack of professionalism.
(Because sometimes I seem to struggle with designing group lessons or individual counseling sessions.)
During interactions with children, I often think: Am I doing this right? I feel uncertain about what the correct approach is.
Do I understand? How can I help? Someone once told me that I take the effectiveness of my clients' changes too personally.
I don't want to admit defeat, so sometimes I can't tell others: Actually, my mind feels blank, and I don't know what to do in certain situations.
I feel lost and helpless inside...
I know I can't express this because how would others believe I have expertise? I also have few people I trust to discuss this with (does it seem too weak or show my incompetence?).
People might wonder how I passed the exam in the first place?? (Or am I just too critical of myself?) This leads to self-doubt and fear of inadequacy, and I still feel nervous~~ Is there a causal relationship with my "lack of confidence"?
I know I've come this far while being nervous, and I've worked hard.
People see me as gentle and kind, and they don't dislike being around me (perhaps this trait helped me pass the exam).
However, this nervousness seems to be a weakness in my helping profession.
How can I transform this and reduce the negative impact of my anxiety? My worries seem to hinder my abilities from being fully expressed.
Friends say they clearly see that I know a lot and understand many things, yet they don't understand why I'm so nervous.
Over time, people treat me like a carefree child, thinking, "You still get things done, so why are you so anxious?" But I can genuinely feel very uncomfortable due to my anxiety.

I sometimes pinch myself to pull it together and have seen a doctor.
The doctor said I have a habit of "anticipatory anxiety," which isn't necessarily bad since I still manage to get things done.
Later, he told me I don't need to schedule appointments with him because he knows I'm someone who thinks a lot.
I live in contradiction every day, struggling to the point of feeling like I'm creating my own troubles.
What should I do? Thank you ^-^ Please give me some guidance.

ne, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2013/06/22

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello! I recall that you might have asked a similar question before.
It's common for people to feel uncertain about themselves, whether it's regarding work, choosing a partner, deciding to buy a house or a car, or even what to eat for dinner.
We make numerous choices every day and evaluate our abilities and the outcomes of those choices.
Some people act impulsively, while others deliberate extensively.
Personality plays a significant role in this.
If you have struggled with self-confidence since your teenage years or early adulthood, you may have a tendency to want to excel in many areas, striving to live and work diligently, fearing that failing to do so would disappoint others or yourself, or worrying about what others might say.
This perfectionistic trait is something you may need to adjust in the future.

If your personality was not always like this, but you began to feel anxious and doubt your abilities at some point, becoming overly concerned about others' opinions and lacking confidence in your skills, it may be time to consider whether you are experiencing anxiety or depressive disorders.
As your friend mentioned, you clearly possess knowledge and the capability to perform your job well, yet you feel inexplicably fearful and lacking in confidence.
These symptoms may have started at a specific point in time, possibly triggered by an event, and it’s important to address this anxiety or depressive mood.
I believe that working in a helping profession is truly rewarding because helping others is a source of happiness.
As a guidance counselor, you should be grateful for this opportunity.
Some say that interacting with individuals who have psychological issues can affect us, and while that may sometimes be unavoidable, the joy derived from altruistic behavior far outweighs these negative emotions.
You have already pointed out in your question that being overly focused on yourself is the reason your noble altruistic actions do not genuinely lead to helping others and finding joy.
You might try to practice concentrating all your senses and attention on the children you wish to help, igniting your interest in understanding and assisting them, without worrying about whether you have enough ability to help them or if your assistance will truly lead to their improvement.
Helping others is a human instinct; it is not exclusive to psychiatrists or counselors.
Even if you experience mental health challenges or, as you age, your cognitive abilities decline and you forget theories or helping techniques, you can still help others—that is beyond doubt.
As long as you have the heart to help, that is sufficient! My psychology teacher once told me this, and I, too, experienced self-doubt and a lack of confidence like you.
I believed his words, and since then, these issues have no longer been a problem for me!
Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2013/06/22

More Info

Overcoming anxiety, especially in helping professions like yours as a counselor or educator, can be a challenging journey. It’s commendable that you are seeking ways to manage your anxiety and improve your confidence. Here are some strategies that may help you navigate your feelings of nervousness and self-doubt while enhancing your effectiveness in your role.

Understanding Your Anxiety
Firstly, it’s important to recognize that anxiety is a common experience, particularly in high-stakes environments like education and counseling. Your feelings of nervousness may stem from a desire to perform well and help others, which is a positive intention. However, this can sometimes lead to overthinking and self-criticism. Understanding that these feelings are normal can help you approach them with more compassion.

Cognitive Behavioral Techniques
One effective approach to managing anxiety is through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques. This involves identifying negative thought patterns and challenging them. For instance, when you think, “I’m not good enough” or “What if I fail?” try to counter those thoughts with evidence of your past successes and the positive feedback you’ve received. Keeping a journal of your accomplishments and positive interactions can serve as a reminder of your capabilities.

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Incorporating mindfulness practices can also be beneficial. Mindfulness encourages you to stay present and focus on the moment rather than worrying about future outcomes. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anxiety symptoms. Consider setting aside a few minutes each day for these practices to cultivate a sense of calm.

Setting Realistic Expectations
It’s crucial to set realistic expectations for yourself. As a helping professional, you may feel pressure to have all the answers or to be perfect. However, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to not have all the solutions immediately. Embrace the learning process and allow yourself to grow through experiences, including mistakes. This mindset shift can alleviate the pressure you place on yourself.

Seeking Support
Don’t hesitate to seek support from colleagues or mentors. Sharing your experiences and feelings with trusted individuals can provide relief and perspective. You might find that others share similar feelings of anxiety, and discussing these challenges can foster a sense of community and understanding. Additionally, consider professional supervision or peer support groups where you can openly discuss your concerns and receive constructive feedback.

Professional Development
Engaging in continuous professional development can also boost your confidence. Attend workshops, training sessions, or conferences related to your field. Gaining new skills and knowledge can empower you and reduce feelings of inadequacy. Remember, every professional has areas for growth, and seeking improvement is a sign of dedication.

Self-Compassion
Lastly, practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you are not alone in this experience. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend in a similar situation. Celebrate your efforts and progress, no matter how small.

Conclusion
In summary, overcoming anxiety in helping professions involves a combination of understanding your feelings, employing cognitive-behavioral techniques, practicing mindfulness, setting realistic expectations, seeking support, engaging in professional development, and practicing self-compassion. Remember, it’s a journey, and it’s okay to take small steps toward building your confidence. By implementing these strategies, you can create a more supportive environment for yourself and, in turn, for those you aim to help.

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