Overcoming Anxiety: Compulsive Thoughts and Self-Doubt

Compulsiveness & Lack of Confidence

Hello, Doctor: In high school, I often felt the need to repeatedly confirm what others had just said, similar to how one might want to double-check what they read in a book.
I wanted to reaffirm those words I had just seen.
In college, I realized that if I continued this way, I would be disliked, so I changed my behavior.
Even during class reunions, classmates would jokingly remark on how strange I used to be, and I stopped thinking about it, fearing that if I did, I would revert to my old state.
As I grew older, I understood that perhaps this was akin to compulsive behaviors or thoughts, possibly due to the pressure of high school entrance exams.
Now that I am working, I sometimes feel a heavy, painful sensation in my chest.

After returning home from my rental place, I suddenly worry about whether I left the water running.
This time, after being home for several days, I checked to ensure the main power was off, but I forgot to double-check the bathroom switch.
While on the train, I suddenly thought that upon returning home, I would likely fixate on this issue, even though I know it’s unnecessary.
I even considered going back to check, knowing it’s not close by, and that if I did make a special trip back, it might reinforce this bad habit.
It seems that after checking, the pressure is relieved for a moment, but I constantly find something else to worry about.
I would like to ask: how can I stop spending energy on these exhausting thoughts? Is this behavior indicative of a lack of self-confidence? Am I perhaps experiencing some sudden stress in my life that triggers these annoying behaviors? Although after being home for several days, my condition seems to improve because I haven’t acted on the worries in my mind, or I tell myself that the worst outcome would just be paying a water bill—nothing catastrophic.
I comfort myself, yet my mind keeps generating one worry after another, and it feels like it never stops.
Even though I might continue with my daily life, it seems like I’m the only one aware of my sadness.
If I don’t speak up, no one notices this situation.
Is it a hormonal imbalance, or is something else going on? What can I do to help myself feel happy again? Thank you.

xin, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2013/07/16

Dr. Lin Junyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, I noticed in your letter that you are aware of your recent mental and physical state and have reflected on past experiences; this is a great start.
Taking care of yourself is the first step toward improving your situation! Your experiences are actually quite common in our daily lives.
One of the most frequent scenarios is excessive stress leading to an inability to concentrate, which prevents us from recognizing the details of our lives, triggering feelings of anxiety that we then feel compelled to confirm.
Rather than a lack of confidence, I would encourage you to examine the following points: Do you feel overwhelmed by an endless to-do list? Are you rushing through meals or crossing the street? Do you feel guilty when you want to rest or seek entertainment? These are indicators that your stress levels may be exceeding your capacity to cope.
Please consider simplifying your tasks or postponing new projects until you complete your current ones.
Of course, the repetitive checking and confirming you mentioned, accompanied by worry and low mood, are indeed symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
However, whether it has reached the level of a "disorder" requires further evaluation.
I suggest you first try to reduce your sources of stress, and if relief is still not achieved, I recommend visiting a mental health clinic for a professional assessment.
Wishing you all the best!

Reply Date: 2013/07/16

More Info

Overcoming anxiety, particularly when it manifests as compulsive thoughts and self-doubt, can be a challenging journey. Your experiences resonate with many individuals who struggle with similar issues, and it’s important to understand that you are not alone in this. The feelings of needing to constantly check or confirm things, as you described, can often stem from anxiety disorders, particularly Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
Compulsive thoughts often arise from a place of fear or uncertainty. For instance, the need to repeatedly check if you turned off the water or the electricity is a common manifestation of anxiety. This behavior can provide temporary relief, but it often reinforces the cycle of anxiety, making it more difficult to break free from these compulsions. The brain, in an attempt to protect you from perceived threats, can become hyper-vigilant, leading to an overwhelming need to seek reassurance or certainty.

The first step in overcoming these compulsive thoughts is to recognize and acknowledge them without judgment. Understanding that these thoughts are a product of anxiety can help you detach from them. Instead of trying to suppress these thoughts, which can often lead to increased anxiety, try to observe them as they come and go. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can be beneficial in helping you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce the intensity of these thoughts.

Another effective strategy is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which is particularly useful for addressing anxiety and compulsive behaviors. CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs, replacing them with more balanced and realistic ones. For example, when you find yourself worrying about whether you left the water running, you can remind yourself of past instances where everything was fine, or you can set a specific time to check in with yourself about these worries rather than acting on impulse.

It’s also important to address the underlying self-doubt that may be contributing to your anxiety. Building self-confidence can be a gradual process, but it is essential for reducing anxiety. Engaging in activities that you enjoy and excel at can help reinforce a positive self-image. Additionally, surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family who understand your struggles can provide a sense of security and validation.

If you find that these strategies are not sufficient, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide tailored support and may suggest a combination of therapy and medication if necessary. Medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are often effective in treating anxiety disorders and can help regulate the brain's chemistry, reducing the intensity of compulsive thoughts.

Lastly, it’s crucial to practice self-compassion. Recognize that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you are taking steps to address these feelings. Celebrate small victories, whether it’s managing to resist the urge to check something or simply acknowledging your feelings without acting on them. Remember, recovery is a journey, and it’s perfectly normal to have ups and downs along the way.

In summary, overcoming anxiety and compulsive thoughts involves a combination of self-awareness, cognitive restructuring, mindfulness practices, and possibly professional support. By understanding the nature of your thoughts and feelings, you can begin to take control of your anxiety rather than allowing it to control you.

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