Overcoming Fear: Strategies for Managing Anxiety and Building Confidence

How to overcome fear?

As we age, it becomes increasingly common to feel fear; sometimes, thoughts about accidents while riding a bike can arise.
While these thoughts do occur, I can at least return to reality.
At this age, I still hesitate to learn how to drive, fearing that I might lose control.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm wasting my life, and I even worry when my family goes out—wondering if something might happen to them.
I’ve considered that perhaps this is because my family is very important to me, leading to excessive concern.
In the past, I didn’t act this way; I used to be afraid of driving, and friends would tell me not to think too much and just "take action." It’s a simple statement, and it’s true, but I still feel like I live in fear of not doing well, lacking confidence, and feeling unhappy for a long time.
It seems like there’s nothing to be happy about, yet I can’t quite articulate it.
People might perceive me as depressed, but I often feel a heavy burden inside.
I have seen a doctor who mentioned that anxiety medication addresses the symptoms but that I need to tackle my depression.
I tried taking Wan You Ting for a month without feeling any significant change.
The doctor explained that since my internal thought patterns haven’t shifted, I need to work on changing them.
The doctor prescribed Aripiprazole 0.25 mg (once a day), stating that it can effectively help with stubborn, obsessive thinking.
He also advised me not to be deterred by the label of "schizophrenia" on the prescription.
However, when I got home, I found myself too afraid to take it.
So, is it that I lack the determination to feel happy, or what should I do to stop being afraid of not doing things well? Recently, it seems like I’m afraid of many things, especially at work, and this fear makes me feel even more uncomfortable when interacting with my supervisor or others.
What should I do if I feel like I’m not good enough? Thank you.

pe, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2014/08/23

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, you have actually pointed out the crux of the issue in your question: "What if I'm not good enough?" When expectations are set too high and one cannot approach the results with a calm mindset, it leads to a fear of failure and setbacks.
This self-protection mechanism, driven by the fear of being hurt, can cause one to hesitate in many aspects of life.
Depression and anxiety can indeed manifest in such situations.
Since your doctor has diagnosed and prescribed medication, it would be beneficial to trust your physician and cooperate with the treatment for a period of time.
Sometimes, these thoughts are more related to personality traits, and as one ages, they can become more entrenched and harder to change, resembling issues of personal values and beliefs.
In such cases, medication may not provide immediate results.
The core issue of excessive fear often lies in placing too much importance on oneself.
It would be helpful to focus more on others, assist them, and genuinely celebrate their successes and happiness.
At times, excessive fear and rigid thinking may lead physicians to try low doses of antipsychotic medications in conjunction with mood stabilizers, which can yield better results; this is quite common.
The fact that your doctor prescribed Aripiprazole indicates that they are genuinely trying to help you.
If you have concerns about the medication, discuss them with your doctor during your next visit; do not hastily abandon your treatment.
Lastly, if you are open to it, a positive religious belief may also provide you with additional support.
Wishing you all the best.
Sincerely, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2014/08/23

More Info

Overcoming fear and building confidence, especially as we age, can be a significant challenge. Many individuals experience heightened anxiety about various aspects of life, including driving, social interactions, and even the safety of loved ones. This anxiety can stem from a variety of factors, including past experiences, personality traits, and even biological predispositions. Here are some strategies to help manage anxiety and build confidence.

Understanding the Roots of Fear
First, it's essential to understand that fear is a natural response to perceived threats. As we age, our experiences can lead us to become more cautious, which can sometimes manifest as anxiety. This is particularly true when we care deeply about our loved ones; the fear of something happening to them can amplify our worries. Recognizing that these feelings are common can be the first step in addressing them.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
One of the most effective treatments for anxiety is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This therapeutic approach helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety. For instance, if you find yourself thinking, "If I drive, I will have an accident," CBT encourages you to examine the evidence for and against this thought. Often, you'll find that the likelihood of such an event is much lower than your mind suggests. By reframing these thoughts, you can reduce anxiety and build confidence in your abilities.

Gradual Exposure
Another effective strategy is gradual exposure to the feared situation. If driving is a source of anxiety, start by sitting in a parked car, then progress to driving in a safe, familiar area. Gradually increasing your exposure can help desensitize you to the fear and build your confidence over time. This method is often used in conjunction with CBT to reinforce positive experiences and reduce anxiety.

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Practicing mindfulness can also be beneficial. Mindfulness involves staying present in the moment and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety. When you feel anxious, take a moment to breathe deeply, focusing on your breath and allowing yourself to relax. This practice can help ground you and reduce the intensity of your fears.

Medication
In some cases, medication may be necessary to manage anxiety effectively. As mentioned, your doctor has prescribed aripiprazole, which can help with obsessive thoughts and anxiety. It's crucial to communicate openly with your healthcare provider about your concerns regarding medication. If you're hesitant to take it due to its labeling, discuss these feelings with your doctor. They can provide reassurance and help you understand the benefits and risks associated with the medication.

Building a Support System
Having a strong support system is vital for overcoming fear and anxiety. Surround yourself with friends and family who understand your struggles and can provide encouragement. Sharing your feelings with others can help alleviate the burden of anxiety and provide perspective. Additionally, consider joining support groups where you can connect with others facing similar challenges.

Setting Realistic Goals
Setting small, achievable goals can also help build confidence. Instead of overwhelming yourself with the idea of driving on busy roads, set a goal to drive to a nearby store. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, as this can reinforce positive feelings and encourage you to take on more significant challenges.

Seeking Professional Help
If your anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, consider seeking professional help. A mental health professional can provide tailored strategies and support to help you navigate your fears and build confidence. Therapy can be a valuable tool in addressing underlying issues contributing to your anxiety.

Conclusion
Overcoming fear and building confidence is a journey that requires patience and persistence. By understanding the roots of your anxiety, utilizing therapeutic techniques, and seeking support, you can gradually reduce your fears and enhance your confidence. Remember, it's okay to seek help, and taking small steps can lead to significant changes over time. Embrace the process, and be kind to yourself as you work towards a more confident and fulfilling life.

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