Overcoming Mental Health Struggles: Seeking Help and Understanding - Psychiatry

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My question?


Hello, Dr.
Ding:
(1) I don't know how to explain this.
Over a decade ago, I was set up by my enemies, which led to my mental illness.
Later, I engaged in a "power struggle" with them, and we are currently maintaining a temporary state of "non-interference." I have no idea when my enemies will come back to cause trouble! All I know is that I deeply hate them, and the original cause (who was at fault first) lies with my enemies.
People say that it's better to resolve grievances than to hold onto them, but in reality, the malicious actions of my enemies have forced me into a position where I cannot coexist with them.
I also hope to take revenge one day! They have given me this current situation; I suffer from mental illness, including affective disorders and schizophrenia (not explicitly stated).
I cannot work for others; whenever I try to find a job, I get fired within a few days or even on the same day.
Now, I either send out resumes without any response or finish interviews without any follow-up.
As a person with a disability, finding a job is difficult, and I am not capable of working.
Currently, due to my father's and brother's savings exceeding the limit by a little, I have lost my subsidies and must rely entirely on myself.
I am now just a scavenger collecting recyclables; no matter how hard I try, I only earn a few thousand dollars a month, and I still have to pay monthly health insurance, national pension fees, and basic living expenses...
I don't know if I can manage these expenses each month or if it will just barely suffice.
My father won't help me, and my brother is not obligated to support me.
I will be a solitary elderly person in the future, and when I get sick or run out of money, no one will care for or help me.
It’s all because of my enemies; otherwise, I wouldn’t be in this situation! Perhaps I could have achieved more! My mother passed away from cancer seven years ago, and her last wish was for my brother and me to have families, but I am just a scavenger and cannot afford to support a partner.
Several times, I wanted to confess my feelings to someone I liked, but I held back because of my "situation." So now, I often look at beautiful women, like those in short skirts...
that girl looks so well-endowed...
Besides wanting a family, I also "need" women; otherwise, every time I meet someone I like, I can't pursue them, and that feeling of repression is unbearable.
Whenever this feeling becomes too intense, I wear women's bras, panties, and clothes at home to masturbate...
I don't know if this is a disorder? From what I understand, my enemies want me to pick up garbage for a lifetime and remain down, while their family members grow stronger, but I don't know if their growth will turn against me.
I also know that I must rise up to honor my mother, to establish a family and career, and to instill fear in my enemies.
As for whether I will take revenge, I really don't know.
Right now, I can't find opportunities or favorable circumstances to rise up.
If it weren't for the free social resources still helping me, I might have ended up like Zheng Jie, attacking my enemies...
but I don't want social resources to support me for a lifetime...
I truly don't know what methods are available.
(2) I would also like to ask the doctor about the news reports stating that Zheng Jie has antisocial personality disorder.
What is "antisocial personality disorder"? I searched online, but the information is still unclear to me.
I hope the doctor can provide guidance.
Thank you very much.

Jason, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2014/10/16

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry


Hello, after reading your letter, I feel that your thoughts are relatively clear, and your abilities should be quite good as well.
There’s no need to be overly pessimistic.
Since your adversaries have not bothered you for over a decade, I believe you should not concern yourself with them any longer.
If your current situation is indeed as dire as you describe, they likely have little interest in you anymore; everyone is quite busy.
Seeking revenge will not improve your situation; it’s best to focus on how to enhance your own circumstances.
Everyone has desires, and if you choose to retreat, that’s your choice, but just ensure that you don’t negatively impact others.

Regarding your economic difficulties, I think you are still young and should actively seek assistance with employment.
You can inquire at the local government office to see if there are any organizations that can help.
Additionally, hospitals often have social workers or occupational therapists who can assist with evaluations or provide resources.
However, the most important thing is to stabilize your condition.
Make sure to attend regular outpatient follow-ups and adhere to your medication regimen.
Do not stop taking your medication just because you feel better; sometimes, the illness may not be fully resolved, and you may not realize it, but others will notice.
This could be a reason why you are having difficulties in job applications.
Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of empathy, self-centeredness, and a disregard for the harm of others or violation of social norms and laws.
Individuals with this disorder often exhibit impulsive behavior.
I am not sure what personality type Zheng Jie has, but harming others is wrong, and he is not someone you should emulate.

Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2014/10/16

More Info


It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, grappling with feelings of anger, frustration, and despair stemming from past experiences and current circumstances. Your situation is complex, involving mental health struggles, financial difficulties, and a sense of isolation. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and understand that seeking help is a vital step toward healing and finding a path forward.

Firstly, regarding your mental health, it’s clear that you are experiencing significant distress, which may be exacerbated by your past experiences and current living conditions. The feelings of hatred towards your adversaries and the desire for revenge can be consuming, but they often lead to a cycle of negativity that can further impact your mental health. It’s essential to recognize that holding onto these feelings can prevent you from moving forward and finding peace. Engaging in therapy or counseling can provide you with a safe space to explore these emotions and develop healthier coping strategies. Mental health professionals can help you process your feelings of anger and resentment, and work towards forgiveness—not for the sake of your adversaries, but for your own peace of mind.

You mentioned that you have been diagnosed with emotional disorders and schizophrenia. These conditions can significantly affect your perception of reality and your ability to cope with stress. It’s crucial to adhere to any treatment plans prescribed by your healthcare providers, including medication and therapy. If you are experiencing side effects from medications or feel that they are not helping, it’s important to communicate this with your doctor. They can adjust your treatment plan to better suit your needs.

In terms of your financial situation, it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed. Finding stable employment can be particularly challenging for individuals with mental health issues. However, there are resources available that can assist you in finding work that accommodates your situation. Many organizations offer job training and placement services specifically for individuals with disabilities or mental health challenges. It may be beneficial to reach out to local community services or non-profits that specialize in supporting individuals in similar situations.

You also expressed feelings of loneliness and a desire for companionship. It’s natural to seek connection with others, and while your current circumstances may make it difficult to pursue relationships, there are ways to build social connections. Consider joining support groups, either in-person or online, where you can meet others who understand what you’re going through. These groups can provide a sense of community and belonging, which is crucial for mental well-being.

Regarding your question about antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), it is characterized by a long-term pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others. Individuals with ASPD may exhibit behaviors such as deceitfulness, impulsivity, irritability, aggression, and a lack of remorse for their actions. It’s important to differentiate between feeling angry or vengeful and having a personality disorder. If you are concerned about your behaviors or thoughts, discussing these with a mental health professional can provide clarity and guidance.

In summary, while your situation feels daunting, there are steps you can take to improve your mental health and overall well-being. Seeking professional help, exploring community resources, and finding supportive social connections can all contribute to a more positive outlook. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking that first step can lead to significant changes in your life. You are not alone in this journey, and there are people and resources available to support you.

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