Navigating Social Challenges and Employment in Mental Health Contexts

Some questions?

I am currently helping out at home and have become accustomed to household tasks.
However, unfortunately, according to the employment service center's assessment, this does not count as work.
Sometimes I feel that this might be why I have never truly stepped out into the workforce.
Of course, this has affected me, meaning I lack experience working alongside others.
I am aware of my weaknesses and have a good relationship with my parents, but aside from them, I have not established connections with others.
Therefore, I continue to handle household responsibilities, but it is clear that I cannot manage everything alone.
I would suggest getting married to have someone help run the store, but the harsh reality is that I have a disability certificate, which places me in a vulnerable group in society.

Of course, everyone needs some friends, and it's important to focus on quality rather than quantity.
I tend to avoid friends with frequent financial dealings.
I really need to learn how to collaborate with others, but I don't want to be a people-pleaser who avoids differing opinions.
To be honest, trying to please everyone can be exhausting.
Sometimes I think about not pursuing a management position because management is inherently about dealing with people.
I have a straightforward personality and do not engage in small talk, which makes me feel like I might not be suited for such roles.
Recently, someone on Facebook asked to add me as a friend, but I wasn't interested, so I removed them.
People like me who don't use social media often end up with fewer friends.
However, I also don't want to force myself to engage in deep conversations with others.

I hope the doctor can provide some advice.

yi, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/01/20

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, based on your previous inquiries and the current question, it seems that interpersonal relationships have always been a concern for you.
Having few friends and lacking social skills can sometimes stem from personality traits, but the influence of mental health issues may also play a role.
As I mentioned earlier, human interactions are reciprocal; when we treat others well, they are likely to respond with kindness in return.
If we prefer solitude and do not welcome others approaching us—similar to how you removed people who wanted to add you as friends on Facebook—over time, fewer people will want to befriend us.
Our current situation is essentially the result of how we choose to interact with others.
Everyone is busy, and no one is willing to approach someone who seems unapproachable.
It is challenging to dislike complex relationships, as you mentioned feeling exhausted by the need to please others, while simultaneously hoping that friends will come to us when we need them, or that a future partner will appear on their own.
Life is like that; many things require effort to achieve, especially in terms of interpersonal relationships.
If you do not mind, there is no need for change.
However, if you still care, taking action is what will bring about change.
Merely discussing questions will not improve the situation on its own.
Wishing you all the best.
Sincerely, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2015/01/20

More Info

Navigating social challenges and employment, especially within the context of mental health, can be a complex and daunting task. Your situation reflects a common struggle faced by many individuals, particularly those with disabilities or social anxiety. It’s essential to recognize that these feelings are valid and that you are not alone in experiencing them.

Firstly, it’s important to understand that your current role at home, while it may not be recognized as formal employment, is still valuable. Many people contribute to their households in significant ways that may not be classified as traditional work. However, the desire to engage with the broader community and gain work experience is a commendable goal. This desire can lead to personal growth, improved social skills, and a sense of accomplishment.

One of the primary challenges you mentioned is the lack of social interaction outside your family. Building relationships and establishing a network is crucial for both personal and professional development. It’s understandable that you may feel apprehensive about stepping out of your comfort zone, especially if you have not had many opportunities to work collaboratively with others. However, consider starting small. Engaging in community activities, volunteering, or joining local groups that align with your interests can provide a low-pressure environment to practice social skills and meet new people.
You also mentioned a concern about being part of a "vulnerable group" due to your disability. While it’s true that societal perceptions can sometimes create barriers, many organizations actively seek to promote inclusivity and diversity in the workplace. Research local businesses or non-profits that have programs designed to support individuals with disabilities. These organizations often provide training, mentorship, and a supportive environment that can help you transition into the workforce.

Regarding your thoughts on management roles and interpersonal communication, it’s essential to recognize that effective management often requires a balance of assertiveness and empathy. While your straightforward communication style can be a strength, it may also be beneficial to develop skills in diplomacy and negotiation. Consider seeking resources or workshops focused on communication skills, conflict resolution, and team dynamics. These skills are not only valuable in management roles but can also enhance your overall interactions with others.

Social media can be a double-edged sword. While it offers a platform for connection, it can also feel overwhelming or superficial. If you find that social media is not conducive to building meaningful relationships, it’s perfectly acceptable to limit your engagement. Instead, focus on face-to-face interactions or smaller, more intimate gatherings where you can foster deeper connections.

Lastly, it’s crucial to address your mental health and emotional well-being throughout this journey. If you find that feelings of anxiety or isolation persist, consider seeking professional support. A mental health professional can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to explore your feelings. They can also help you develop a personalized plan to gradually increase your social interactions and work towards your employment goals.

In conclusion, navigating social challenges and employment in the context of mental health requires patience, self-compassion, and proactive steps. Start by engaging in low-pressure social situations, seek out supportive organizations, and consider professional guidance to help you along the way. Remember, every small step you take is a step towards building the life and connections you desire.

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