Supporting a Friend Struggling with Anxiety After Traumatic Events

Friend's difficulties

Due to the murder case on the Taipei Metro a year ago, the prison escape incident, and the recent random stabbing case, my friend has been unable to sleep at night.
She says she unconsciously feels like she is in a very dangerous place and could get hurt at any moment, which makes her very scared.
I tell her that society is peaceful, and she believes me and feels less afraid, but she still tends to think negatively.
However, she is not at the point of being afraid to step outside.
Additionally, her parents sometimes argue very fiercely, and she is also afraid that they might get divorced.
As her good friend, I am really worried about her.
How can I comfort her?

Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/07/30

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, seeing that you are only 15 years old and so concerned about your friend truly touches my heart, it really does! Under normal circumstances, when faced with the impact of horror movies or news events, we tend to return to our daily lives quickly and gradually forget, restoring our normal state.
Some individuals have a weaker support system, with interpersonal relationships both within and outside the family being more isolated.
They may be introverted, sensitive, or perfectionistic, and sometimes an event can become a triggering factor leading to subsequent mental health issues, such as anxiety disorders.
At this point, it may be necessary to see a doctor for quicker recovery.
Your continued companionship as a good friend is something you can offer now, and it will truly help him.
However, remember that our abilities are limited; you may also need to focus on your studies and work, and it’s not possible to provide endless support.
Additionally, some people's issues are deeply rooted, and while they may appear to be influenced by social news, there are often deeper, long-standing unresolved issues that make them so vulnerable and sensitive.
These are not changes that our heartfelt concern can easily address.
If you feel unable to help further, you could suggest that he speak with a guidance counselor (if he is still in school) or encourage him to talk to his parents about seeing a doctor for quicker assistance.
Wishing you all the best.
Sincerely, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2015/07/30

More Info

Supporting a friend who is struggling with anxiety, especially after experiencing traumatic events, can be challenging yet incredibly important. Your friend's anxiety stemming from recent violent incidents, coupled with familial stress, is understandably distressing for both her and you as a supportive friend. Here are some strategies you can employ to help her navigate through this difficult time.

1. Listen Actively
One of the most powerful things you can do is to simply listen. Allow her to express her fears and anxieties without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone who listens can provide immense relief. Make sure she knows that her feelings are valid and that it’s okay to feel scared or anxious after such traumatic events.

2. Encourage Professional Help
While your support is invaluable, it’s essential to recognize when professional help is needed. Encourage her to speak with a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or counselor. They can provide her with coping strategies and therapeutic interventions tailored to her specific needs. If she is hesitant, you might suggest that attending a few sessions could be beneficial, even if she feels she doesn’t have a “serious” problem.

3. Normalize Her Feelings
Reassure her that anxiety is a common response to trauma. Many people experience heightened anxiety after witnessing or hearing about violent events. This normalization can help her feel less isolated in her experience. Share stories (if appropriate) of others who have faced similar feelings and have found ways to cope.

4. Promote Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Encourage her to engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being. This could include:
- Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help ground her in the present moment and reduce anxiety.

- Physical Activity: Exercise is a natural anxiety reliever. Suggest going for walks together or participating in a fun physical activity.

- Creative Outlets: Encourage her to express her feelings through art, writing, or music, which can be therapeutic.

5. Establish a Routine
Help her create a daily routine that includes time for self-care, relaxation, and social interaction. A structured routine can provide a sense of normalcy and predictability, which can be comforting during times of anxiety.

6. Limit Exposure to Triggers
While it’s important to stay informed, excessive exposure to news about violent events can exacerbate anxiety. Encourage her to take breaks from news consumption and social media, especially if she finds it triggering.

7. Be Patient and Understanding
Recovery from anxiety and trauma is not linear. There will be good days and bad days. Be patient with her and understand that it may take time for her to feel better. Celebrate her small victories, and remind her that it’s okay to take things one step at a time.

8. Encourage Open Communication
Let her know that she can talk to you anytime she feels overwhelmed. Keeping the lines of communication open can help her feel supported and less alone in her struggles.

9. Address Family Stressors
If her parents’ arguments are contributing to her anxiety, gently encourage her to express her feelings about this situation. It might also be beneficial for her to talk to her parents about how their conflicts affect her, if she feels comfortable doing so.

Conclusion
Supporting a friend through anxiety after traumatic events requires empathy, patience, and sometimes the encouragement to seek professional help. Your role as a supportive friend is crucial, but it’s also important to recognize the limits of your ability to help. Encourage her to seek professional guidance when necessary, and continue to be there for her as she navigates her feelings. Remember, it’s okay to seek support for yourself as well, as helping someone through anxiety can be emotionally taxing.

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