Overcoming Emotional Trauma: Navigating Trust Issues in Friendships - Psychiatry

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Last year, during the middle of the year, I was hurt by friends whom I valued greatly, and I fell into a deep low point in my life that I couldn't recover from for a long time.
I even experienced feelings akin to paranoia, believing that whatever they said or posted online was somehow directed at me.
Later, I tried to confront the issue, thinking that discussing it would resolve everything, but I found myself unsure of how to communicate with them.
I didn't know how to engage in conversation, and I even felt repulsed by them, perceiving them as insincere and two-faced.
Even when they approached me to talk and looked me in the eye, I couldn't maintain eye contact with them.
My perception of them was entirely negative, so I built up emotional walls again.
I am unsure whether I am traumatized by the events or if I am experiencing a mental health issue.

Evonne, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/08/08

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry


Hello.
If these concerns are causing you psychological distress, you can call the 1925 Mental Health Hotline.
They will provide counseling, guidance, and referral services, which should help alleviate your distress.

Reply Date: 2022/08/08

More Info


Overcoming emotional trauma, especially in the context of friendships, can be a complex and challenging journey. It’s understandable that after experiencing betrayal or hurt from close friends, one might feel a range of emotions, including distrust, anxiety, and even paranoia. The feelings you describe—such as believing that your friends are targeting you or feeling unable to communicate with them—are common responses to emotional trauma.
When friendships that we hold dear become sources of pain, it can lead to a significant emotional fallout. The sense of betrayal can create a defensive mechanism where one builds walls to protect themselves from further hurt. This is a natural response, but it can also lead to isolation and difficulty in forming new connections or repairing old ones.
The first step in navigating these trust issues is to acknowledge your feelings. It’s important to recognize that your emotional responses are valid. You may be experiencing symptoms of anxiety or even post-traumatic stress, which can manifest as hyper-vigilance or a heightened sensitivity to perceived threats in social interactions. This can make it difficult to engage with others, especially those who have caused you pain.

To begin the healing process, consider the following strategies:
1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your feelings and experiences. Journaling can be a helpful tool to process your emotions. Write about your feelings towards your friends, the events that transpired, and how these experiences have shaped your current perceptions.

2. Seek Professional Help: If your feelings of distrust and anxiety persist, it may be beneficial to seek the help of a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, understand the impact of your trauma, and develop coping strategies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for addressing negative thought patterns and rebuilding trust.

3. Gradual Exposure: If you feel ready, consider gradually re-engaging with your friends. Start with low-stakes interactions where you can practice communication without the pressure of deep conversations. This could be as simple as casual greetings or small talk. Gradually, as you feel more comfortable, you can work towards more meaningful exchanges.

4. Set Boundaries: It’s important to establish boundaries that protect your emotional well-being. Communicate your needs to your friends, and let them know what behaviors are acceptable and what are not. This can help rebuild trust over time.

5. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help reduce anxiety and improve your emotional regulation. These practices can help you stay grounded in the present moment rather than getting lost in negative thoughts about the past.

6. Reframe Your Thoughts: Work on reframing negative thoughts about your friends. Instead of viewing them as deceitful or two-faced, try to consider their perspectives. This doesn’t mean excusing their behavior, but understanding that people can make mistakes and still be worthy of forgiveness.

7. Build New Connections: While it’s important to address the pain from past friendships, it’s also beneficial to seek out new relationships. Engaging with new people can provide fresh perspectives and help you rebuild your trust in others.

8. Educate Yourself: Understanding the psychological impacts of betrayal and trauma can empower you. Reading books or articles on emotional healing can provide insights and strategies that resonate with your experiences.

In conclusion, overcoming emotional trauma related to friendships is a process that requires patience and self-compassion. It’s essential to allow yourself the time to heal and to seek support when needed. Remember, it’s okay to take small steps towards rebuilding trust, both in yourself and in others. Healing is not linear, and it’s perfectly normal to have setbacks along the way. With time and effort, you can navigate through these challenges and emerge stronger.

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