Overcoming Social Anxiety: Navigating Relationships and Self-Doubt

Q: Overcoming Social Anxiety: Navigating Relationships and Self-Doubt

Hello SINES： A person's habits can be influenced by past experiences and family interaction patterns. <br>In your interpersonal interactions, it seems that you have a strong fear of making mistakes and worry about being disliked by others. <br>Did you experience negative conseque

Challenges in Interpersonal Interactions

Recently, I've been troubled by my relationships with others—whether they are close or distant.
I understand that I should have different emotional connections with various friends, family members, or colleagues.
However, my concern lies in what I should genuinely care about.
Lately, I've found myself worrying about people I shouldn't be concerned with at all (like those I might only meet a few times and not have a lifelong connection with).
I find myself preoccupied with whether they like me and analyzing my interactions with them.
I often wonder, "How do others perceive me?"
I become overly concerned about others' opinions of me, even though I can't see their true thoughts.
During interactions, I feel compelled to speak, and when there's silence, I experience anxiety.
I can't help but share bits of my life, my feelings from the previous day, or recent thoughts, often without realizing it.
Afterward, I regret whether I’ve annoyed others or if anyone really wants to hear about my experiences.
While most people likely move on after a conversation, I seem to dwell on past moments and events.
Typically, people think of social conversations as just opening a topic to discuss or letting it go if there's nothing to say.
However, I often worry if what I just said was foolish or if I expressed myself appropriately during conversations.
This leads to frequent regret after talking to others, diminishing my confidence in my interaction patterns.
I reflect on whether my words and actions align with what others want to hear.
I find myself overly concerned with whether I meet others' expectations, even though I can't know for sure if they like me, which only adds to my confusion.
This contradictory existence is filled with regret, and I increasingly struggle to understand what is right or how to proceed.
No matter what I do, I seem to remain in a state of regret, which makes me overly sensitive to other situations as well.
My interactions with anyone become a source of concern about whether my actions align with their expectations.
I find it hard to accept that some people may not like me, and I feel the need for approval and acceptance from many, which is painful because I can always find examples of people who don’t like me.
I constantly live in regret and contradiction, which is quite distressing.
I wonder why I create problems for myself, as even simple matters become complicated when I overthink them.
Yet, I struggle to control these thoughts.
How can I stop this cycle of thinking?

sines, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2010/02/26

Dr. Chen Yuying reply Psychiatry

Hello SINES: A person's habits can be influenced by past experiences and family interaction patterns.
In your interpersonal interactions, it seems that you have a strong fear of making mistakes and worry about being disliked by others.
Did you experience negative consequences in your early childhood if you did not meet the perfection expected by others? Dr.
Chen

Reply Date: 2010/02/26

More Info

Overcoming social anxiety is a complex journey that involves understanding oneself, navigating relationships, and managing self-doubt. Your feelings of concern about how others perceive you and the anxiety that arises from social interactions are common experiences for many individuals dealing with social anxiety. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are valid and that you are not alone in this struggle.

Firstly, it’s essential to understand that social anxiety often stems from a fear of judgment or rejection. This fear can lead to overthinking and second-guessing your actions and words during interactions. You mentioned feeling anxious about whether you are saying the right things or if others find you interesting. This self-consciousness can create a cycle of anxiety where you become preoccupied with others' perceptions, leading to a heightened sense of insecurity.

One effective approach to managing social anxiety is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety. For instance, when you find yourself worrying about how others perceive you, try to reframe those thoughts. Instead of thinking, "They must think I'm awkward," consider, "They are likely focused on their own experiences and may not be judging me as harshly as I think." This shift in perspective can help reduce anxiety and promote a more balanced view of social interactions.

Additionally, practicing mindfulness can be beneficial. Mindfulness encourages you to stay present in the moment rather than getting lost in thoughts about past interactions or future encounters. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises can help you manage anxiety in real-time. When you feel the urge to overanalyze a conversation, take a moment to focus on your breath and bring your attention back to the present.

Another key aspect of overcoming social anxiety is gradually exposing yourself to social situations. Start small by engaging in low-pressure interactions, such as greeting a neighbor or making small talk with a cashier. As you become more comfortable, gradually increase the complexity of your interactions. This exposure can help desensitize you to the anxiety associated with social situations and build your confidence over time.

It’s also important to cultivate self-compassion. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes in social situations and that it’s okay to feel awkward at times. Instead of being overly critical of yourself, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Remind yourself that your worth is not determined by others' opinions, and it’s natural to have varying levels of connection with different people.

Lastly, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools and strategies tailored to your specific needs, helping you navigate your social anxiety more effectively. A therapist can also help you explore any underlying issues contributing to your anxiety, such as past experiences or family dynamics.

In conclusion, overcoming social anxiety is a gradual process that involves self-awareness, cognitive restructuring, mindfulness, gradual exposure, and self-compassion. By implementing these strategies, you can begin to shift your focus from worrying about others' perceptions to fostering a more positive relationship with yourself. Remember, it’s okay to seek help, and taking small steps toward change can lead to significant improvements in your social interactions and overall well-being.

Similar Q&A

Understanding Social Withdrawal: Overcoming Anxiety and Building Connections

I have researched online and found that my situation resembles social withdrawal disorder. I am afraid to initiate conversations and interactions with others. I fear rejection and worry about being criticized behind my back. I believe that if I take the initiative to engage with ...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello Qianqian: Your situation may indeed be related to social anxiety. It's important to be patient, as this condition has the potential to improve. You have your own goals and dreams, and you can truly appreciate and understand the hard work your mother has put in. However...

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Career Uncertainty: A Journey to Self-Discovery

I have been very introverted since childhood and have never dared to initiate conversations with others. Throughout my school years, my teachers consistently commented that I was not good at expressing myself. More than one teacher has told me that I needed to change my introvert...

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Hello, Nobody. Thank you for taking the time to write. You have truly faced many hardships over the years, and your situation is indeed very challenging. I will address your questions one by one: (1) Due to previous unpleasant experiences seeking help, I am actually very afraid ...

Overcoming Social Anxiety: Strategies for Rebuilding Connections and Confidence

I used to be a very outgoing person, but during my educational journey, certain experiences with classmates caused me to become increasingly withdrawn. Now, I have become accustomed to this personality and am very sensitive to the feelings of others. I often sense when people are...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello Nana: Life is not perfect, and everyone has to carry some imperfections as they continue to live. Let the past be the past; every moment can be a fresh start. Engage in positive actions that promote your growth and improvement. Don't give up; with gradual accumulation,...

Overcoming Social Anxiety: Seeking Help and Finding Solutions

Hello Dr. Chen: As the title suggests, I believe I have social anxiety disorder. I have listed my symptoms and examples... 1. I am hesitant to go shopping alone because I have to speak to the store staff; even ordering food is difficult for me to initiate. 2. I am very afraid of ...

Dr. Chen Wenyu reply Psychiatry
Hello, Xiao Pang: Some anticipated anxiety and negative thinking may appear to others as "overthinking." In fact, the individual often knows they are overthinking, but how can they stop themselves from doing so? In your case, social anxiety disorder involves not only an...