Finding True Happiness: Overcoming Emotional Struggles and Building Confidence - Psychiatry

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How to become happy?


I often feel like I'm not really happy, even though I do smile.
I think I'm not living a joyful life.
Sometimes I feel that not pretending to understand everything might make things easier.
It's okay to let others share their thoughts too.
My home environment is not harmonious; my father struggles with emotional management and sometimes speaks impatiently, which can lead to negative emotions.
So, when I want to share my feelings, I often feel like I'm not receiving the care I need.
Although I keep encouraging words in mind, I feel like I lack self-confidence and tend to compare myself to others.
I've tried medication, but I don't think it works wonders.
I would appreciate any advice or methods from a doctor.

Wu, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/08/01

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry


Hello, life is probably a mix of joy and suffering, and there will inevitably be situations that are unsatisfactory or unpleasant.
It's important not to immediately feel disgust or have the impulse to escape; instead, learn to accept the current situation.
Sometimes, this can lessen the pain.
For example, if your father's emotional management is poor, it may be difficult to change him.
Accepting this imperfection in life and focusing on more positive aspects can help you avoid feeling stuck in a dead end.

To put it more professionally, the stressful events themselves are not the most painful; rather, our perceptions and reactions to these events are the primary sources of our suffering.
Contentment brings happiness.
You also mentioned the pain caused by comparison.
Comparing ourselves to others or to our past better days can lead to feelings of inadequacy, which only exacerbates our sadness.
Trying to escape unhappiness by ruminating on ways to find relief often makes things worse.

Instead, it's usually more effective to get up and engage in activities that lead to positive change, which can prevent worries and troubles from accumulating.
I've noticed that some people's worries and repetitive thoughts have a compulsive nature, making it hard for them to let go.
It's essential to remind yourself to be gentle with yourself, allow for breaks, and practice relaxation techniques such as diaphragmatic breathing.
The path to relief lies within these practices!
Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2015/08/01

More Info


Finding true happiness and overcoming emotional struggles is a multifaceted journey that often requires introspection, support, and practical strategies. From a mental health perspective, it’s essential to recognize that feelings of unhappiness, low self-esteem, and emotional struggles are common experiences that many individuals face, especially when navigating complex family dynamics and societal pressures.


Understanding Emotional Struggles
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step in overcoming emotional struggles is to acknowledge and validate your feelings. It’s okay to feel unhappy or to struggle with confidence. These feelings are part of the human experience, and recognizing them is crucial for healing.

2. Family Dynamics: It sounds like your home environment may contribute to your emotional struggles. Living with a family member who has poor emotional regulation can create an atmosphere of tension and unpredictability. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and a lack of support. It’s important to find safe spaces where you can express your feelings without fear of judgment or negative reactions.

3. Comparison and Self-Esteem: You mentioned feeling a lack of confidence and often comparing yourself to others. This is a common issue that can lead to feelings of inadequacy. It’s important to remember that everyone has their struggles, even if they appear to be thriving on the outside. Focusing on your unique strengths and achievements, no matter how small, can help build your self-esteem.


Building Confidence and Finding Happiness
1. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Self-compassion involves recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws. Instead of being overly critical of yourself, try to speak to yourself in a supportive and encouraging manner.

2. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of comparing yourself to others, set personal goals that are achievable and meaningful to you. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This can help shift your focus from what you lack to what you can accomplish.

3. Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Finding joy in activities that you love can significantly improve your mood and overall outlook on life. Whether it’s reading, painting, or engaging in sports, make time for these activities regularly.

4. Seek Support: If you feel comfortable, consider talking to a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage your emotions, improve your self-esteem, and navigate family dynamics. A therapist can also help you explore the underlying issues contributing to your feelings of unhappiness.

5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present and reduce anxiety about the past or future. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can promote relaxation and emotional well-being.

6. Limit Negative Influences: If certain relationships or environments contribute to your feelings of unhappiness, it may be beneficial to set boundaries. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift you rather than bring you down.

7. Consider Medication: While you mentioned that medication didn’t seem miraculous, it can be an important part of a comprehensive treatment plan for some individuals. If you’re open to it, discussing your experiences with a psychiatrist may provide insights into whether medication could be beneficial for you.


Conclusion
Finding true happiness is a journey that requires patience and self-exploration. It’s important to recognize that it’s okay to seek help and that you don’t have to navigate these struggles alone. By practicing self-compassion, setting realistic goals, engaging in enjoyable activities, and seeking support, you can begin to build confidence and find greater happiness in your life. Remember, it’s a process, and every small step counts.

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