Struggling with Mental Health: Finding Hope in Darkness

Q: Struggling with Mental Health: Finding Hope in Darkness

Hello： The path in life is not solely about studying; acquiring a skill or having a good work ethic are also significant advantages. <br>Past setbacks may diminish one's confidence, but the ability to navigate life is built over time. <br>I suggest you listen to your inner voice,

Living is exhausting?

Since the fourth grade of elementary school, I have had trouble remembering things, which has resulted in consistently ranking among the last in exams.
No matter how much I try to memorize, my mind goes blank.
This continued into junior high school, where I had to attend a resource class because my academic performance remained poor.
When it came time for high school, I attended night school, but my family couldn't provide consistent transportation, and I was afraid of crowds.
I didn't dare ride my bike, and eventually, I was expelled.
I ended up staying at home for a long time, and now I find myself in this situation where I often forget what I was saying mid-sentence, and my mind goes blank.
Sometimes, when I need to answer questions, I suddenly forget, or I take a few seconds to respond.
When watching TV, I might find something funny, but I won't laugh immediately; it takes me several seconds to react.

I want to know if this is normal.
Please help me.
I previously had a disability certificate, but they only provided me with some test data and did not help me understand my inner world.
I feel so insecure and never look up when I see people because I think I am very ugly.
Sometimes, after a long time, I really want to commit suicide because I feel my existence is meaningless.
I have no friends or classmates, but I am too weak to go through with it.
What should I do? I fear that after my parents pass away, I will be unable to support myself, and I think it might be better to die now since living feels useless.

Yu Ren, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/01/11

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: The path in life is not solely about studying; acquiring a skill or having a good work ethic are also significant advantages.
Past setbacks may diminish one's confidence, but the ability to navigate life is built over time.
I suggest you listen to your inner voice, identify your strengths and interests, and cultivate relevant skills—it's never too late to start.
The fact that you are asking such questions indicates a motivation for change within you.
By doing one extra thing for your family today, or by engaging with or learning something new, or achieving a small breakthrough, you can make today meaningful.
As long as you keep moving forward, the cumulative growth over time can be substantial.
However, if you find it difficult to overcome persistent negative thoughts, I recommend seeking medical advice and discussing your concerns with a physician to collaboratively find a solution.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2016/01/11

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time, and I want to acknowledge the pain and struggles you are experiencing. Mental health issues, especially those that have persisted since childhood, can be overwhelming and isolating. It's important to understand that what you are feeling is not uncommon among individuals who face similar challenges, and there is hope for improvement.

From what you have described, it seems that you have been dealing with significant cognitive and emotional difficulties for many years. The memory issues, feelings of emptiness, and social anxiety you mentioned can be symptoms of various mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety disorders. These conditions can affect not only your mood but also your cognitive functions, leading to difficulties in concentration, memory recall, and social interactions.

You mentioned feeling self-conscious and believing you are unworthy or unappealing, which can contribute to low self-esteem and feelings of isolation. It's crucial to recognize that these thoughts are often distorted by the mental health issues you are facing. Many people struggle with similar feelings, and it is essential to challenge these negative beliefs about yourself. Engaging in positive self-talk and surrounding yourself with supportive individuals can help counteract these feelings.

You also expressed thoughts of self-harm and a desire to escape your current situation. While these thoughts can be distressing, it is vital to reach out for help rather than facing them alone. Speaking with a mental health professional can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you explore your feelings, understand your experiences, and develop coping strategies to manage your symptoms. Therapy can be a safe space to express your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

In addition to therapy, medication may also be an option worth considering. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications can help alleviate some of the symptoms you are experiencing. A psychiatrist can evaluate your situation and determine if medication is appropriate for you.

You mentioned having a disability certificate in the past, but it seems that you did not receive the support you needed to understand your inner world. It might be beneficial to seek a comprehensive evaluation from a mental health professional who can provide a thorough assessment of your cognitive and emotional health. This evaluation can help identify any underlying conditions and guide you toward appropriate treatment options.

It's also important to engage in self-care practices that can improve your overall well-being. Regular physical activity, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep can have a positive impact on your mood and cognitive function. Additionally, finding activities that bring you joy, even in small doses, can help you reconnect with a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Lastly, I want to emphasize that you are not alone in this journey. Many individuals face similar struggles, and there are resources available to help you navigate through this challenging time. Connecting with support groups, whether in-person or online, can provide a sense of community and understanding.

In conclusion, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can help you explore your feelings and develop a plan for recovery. You deserve support and assistance in finding hope and healing. Life can be challenging, but with the right help, it is possible to find meaning and joy again. Remember, taking the first step to seek help is a sign of strength, and there is a path forward for you.

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