Navigating Mental Health: Coping with Emotions and Relationships - Psychiatry

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Dear Dr.
Tang,
I apologize for bothering you again! I have the following concerns:
1.
Recently, my psychiatrist has increased my medication dosage, which has helped me feel mostly calm and optimistic.
However, I still have some worries! I find myself preoccupied with money, often thinking about how to earn more.
At work, I collect discarded metal cans to sell for a little extra cash, and I keep accumulating it.
I frequently ponder how to increase my income to build my assets.
At the same time, I am uncertain about what job I should pursue in the future.
2.
I have a bit of disdain for societal parasites.
During middle school, some weaker classmates (including myself) were often bullied, and now I feel a strong desire to seek retribution! Although I know that revenge only perpetuates a cycle of harm, I genuinely fear that one day I might be bullied again, and I would struggle to control the impulse to "want to kill"!
3.
I feel envious when I see others with romantic partners; I also desire a girlfriend.
However, to suppress my undesirable urges, I constantly remind myself that "love is meaningless to me"! At the same time, I am unsure how to interact with women.
In this world, I believe the person who understands me best and is closest to me is my brother; he is truly my confidant! We share everything without words, confiding our innermost thoughts to each other.
Most importantly, we never betray one another, which I take great pride in.

Xiao Jie, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2002/08/16

Dr. Tang Xinbei reply Psychiatry


Dear Xiao Jie,
I am very glad to hear about your progress and improvements! It seems that, like many young people, you are facing uncertainty about your future during this stage of life: wondering what your future will hold? Wanting to have more control over your life, yet feeling a sense of helplessness! You may want to plan your family and find a partner, but you also have some worries and fears! More importantly, it seems you are concerned about your condition and how it might create a negative impression on others, leading to self-imposed limitations?
I’m pleased to know that you have a brother who understands you and is willing to share your thoughts.
Perhaps you can talk to him about your current worries and fears.
Many times, discussing your feelings with someone doesn’t necessarily lead to finding solutions to your troubles, but simply expressing what’s on your mind can naturally alleviate your concerns.
Wishing you peace and joy!

Reply Date: 2002/08/16

More Info


Navigating mental health, especially when dealing with complex emotions and relationships, can be a challenging journey. It’s commendable that you are seeking guidance and reflecting on your feelings and behaviors. Let’s break down your concerns and explore some coping strategies and insights that may help you.

1. Financial Concerns and Work Identity: It’s understandable to feel anxious about financial stability, especially in uncertain times. Your proactive approach to earning extra money, like collecting and selling discarded items, shows resourcefulness. However, it’s essential to balance this drive with self-care. Consider setting aside specific times for financial planning and job searching, allowing yourself to focus on other aspects of life without the constant pressure of financial worries. Engaging in activities that bring you joy or fulfillment outside of work can also help alleviate some of that stress.

2. Feelings of Anger and Revenge: The emotions you’re experiencing regarding past bullying and feelings of being wronged are valid. It’s common to feel a desire for retribution when we’ve been hurt. However, it’s crucial to recognize that harboring thoughts of violence or revenge can lead to more harm than good, both for yourself and others. Instead, consider channeling that energy into positive actions. Engaging in community service, advocacy for bullying prevention, or even speaking to a therapist about these feelings can provide a healthier outlet for your emotions. Remember, seeking revenge often perpetuates a cycle of pain, while healing and forgiveness can lead to personal growth.

3. Desire for Relationships: Your longing for companionship is a natural human desire. It’s okay to feel envious of others who seem to have fulfilling relationships. However, it’s essential to approach relationships with an open heart rather than a mindset of fear or negativity. Telling yourself that “love is meaningless” can create barriers that prevent you from forming connections. Instead, try to reframe your thoughts. Consider what you value in relationships and what qualities you seek in a partner. Start small by engaging in social activities or groups that interest you, which can provide opportunities to meet new people in a low-pressure environment.

4. Connection with Your Brother: The bond you share with your brother is a beautiful aspect of your life. Having someone with whom you can share your thoughts and feelings is invaluable. This relationship can serve as a foundation for building other connections. You might also consider discussing your feelings about relationships with him; he may offer insights or support as you navigate this area of your life.

5. Coping Strategies: Given your current medication adjustment, it’s great to hear that you’re feeling more stable and optimistic. Continue to communicate openly with your healthcare provider about your feelings and any side effects you may experience. In addition to medication, consider incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, into your routine. These practices can help you process your emotions and reduce anxiety. Physical activity is also a powerful tool for managing stress and improving mood, so find an exercise routine that you enjoy.

In conclusion, navigating mental health and relationships is a multifaceted process that requires patience and self-compassion. It’s essential to acknowledge your feelings, seek support when needed, and engage in activities that promote your well-being. Remember, it’s okay to take small steps toward change, and every effort counts. You are not alone in this journey, and there are resources and people available to support you along the way.

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