Am I Experiencing a Mental Health Crisis? Seeking Help After School Challenges

Is there a mental illness?

Hello Doctor, I have been on leave from school for nearly half a year, and this decision has made me very sad for a long time.
During my time in school, I was repeatedly mocked by seniors, called worthless trash, and even threatened with violence.
I was also subjected to comments about my family's financial struggles, implying that I should save money.
I reported these incidents to the teachers, but the response I received was one of distrust, suggesting that I was slandering the seniors and merely complaining.
Now, just hearing the word "complain" makes me feel very sad and want to cry.
I really did not want to take a leave of absence, especially since I only had half a semester left to complete.
My father passed away two years ago, and he was the one who paid for my tuition, which adds to my sorrow.
However, I just couldn't continue; I cry every time and feel that my trust has been betrayed, being suspected of making excuses and blaming others.
I clearly expressed that my academic workload was manageable, but the pressure from the seniors was overwhelming.
Instead, I was labeled as a "bad strawberry," among many other things that I simply couldn't bear, leading me to leave school.
Although these events are now in the past, they still weigh heavily on my mind; I have nightmares and cry when I think about them.
Even though my daily life seems normal, I am an extremely insecure person.
I was often teased about my appearance in middle school, which has led to lasting insecurity and overthinking.
I tend to push friends away, even though I still have a few, and I often feel like deleting them to isolate myself.
Reflecting on all this makes me feel utterly useless, as if I can't do anything right.
I really feel inadequate.
Should I seek help from a psychologist? I wonder if this is a sign of a mental health issue, or if, as others say, this is just meaningless complaining that will pass.
Thank you, Doctor.

Tuzi, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/03/22

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, I empathize with your situation.
However, considering that you are 26 years old, you should be in a university or higher education, where bullying is relatively less common.
Perhaps if you take a break from school and return later with a new group of classmates and teachers, you might find a fresh start.
The painful memories of the past are indeed hard to forget, but what we can do is to reduce the negative emotions attached to those memories.
Talking to someone can be a way to express your feelings; you might consider seeing a doctor for a discussion.
If you prefer not to see a doctor, there are hotlines and supportive community organizations, like the Zhang Teacher's group, that offer counseling services you can try.

Additionally, constantly ruminating on these negative memories can reinforce their emotional weight, making them harder to shake off.
Many past events are beyond our control, so how do people move on? They shift their focus and re-engage with the present moment and their interests.
Being out of school, not working, and isolating yourself can lead to a vicious cycle of dwelling on negative memories.
I suggest you find something to do, learn new things, and develop new interests to avoid having too much idle time alone.

Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2016/03/22

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and it's important to acknowledge the emotional and psychological toll that your experiences have taken on you. From what you've described, it seems that you are dealing with a combination of social anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and possibly depression, all of which can be exacerbated by the pressures of school and the loss of your father.

Firstly, it's crucial to understand that your feelings are valid. Experiencing bullying, feeling unsupported by authority figures, and facing academic pressures can lead to significant emotional distress. The fact that you are having nightmares and crying frequently indicates that your mental health is being affected. These symptoms are not just "meaningless complaints"; they are signals from your mind and body that you need support and care.

Social anxiety can manifest in various ways, including fear of judgment from peers, difficulty in speaking up, and avoidance of social situations. This can create a vicious cycle where the more you avoid social interactions, the more anxious you become about them. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed, especially given the negative experiences you’ve had with your peers and the lack of support from teachers. The feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt you mentioned are common among individuals who have faced bullying or criticism, and they can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth.

Your decision to take a break from school was likely a necessary step for your mental health, but it’s important to seek help during this time. Consulting with a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the tools and strategies to cope with your feelings. Therapy can help you process your experiences, develop coping mechanisms, and work on building your self-esteem. A mental health professional can also help you distinguish between what might be a temporary emotional response and what could be a more persistent mental health issue.

In addition to seeking professional help, consider reaching out to trusted friends or family members who can provide emotional support. It’s important to have a support system in place, even if it feels difficult to open up. Sharing your feelings with someone who cares can alleviate some of the burden you are carrying.

Engaging in self-care practices can also be beneficial. This includes maintaining a routine, getting regular exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and ensuring you have a balanced diet. These activities can help improve your mood and overall well-being.

Lastly, remember that healing takes time. It’s okay to feel sad or overwhelmed, and it’s okay to seek help. You are not alone in this, and there are people and resources available to support you through your journey. Taking the step to talk to a mental health professional is a positive move towards understanding and improving your mental health. You deserve to feel better and to find joy in your life again.

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