Struggling to Graduate: Navigating Mental Health and Academic Challenges

Unable to graduate?

Recently, I've been troubled by interpersonal relationships and academic pressures.
The interpersonal aspect has extended into my emotional life.
As a third-year master's student, I am nearing the maximum four-year limit for my program, yet I still struggle with experiments and calculations.
I have a bachelor's degree in management but am pursuing a master's in a scientific field.
My interactions with professors, classmates, and junior students have been unfriendly.
Additionally, my experimental equipment has been malfunctioning; once, a lid got stained, and my professor asked me to pay for it, even though the machine was still functional.
I sought help and followed instructions, yet I ended up being blamed.
Another time, a noodle-making machine jammed, and despite following someone's advice to fix it, the machine broke, and again, I was blamed.
I feel very wronged because I believe they lack professionalism, although I acknowledge my own mistakes.
What frustrates me the most is that my advisor and the department head are aware of my situation but have not taken any action to resolve it.
They previously mentioned finding someone to assist me with experiments, but no one has come forward yet.
When I asked my professor for help with calculations, he complained that I was a bother and suggested I read more books, which made me question the purpose of having a teacher.
Since I am enrolled in a teacher training program, not obtaining my master's degree would mean that my training would not be recognized.
Additionally, I am in a culinary program and need to obtain certifications.
My friends and other professors also seem indifferent to my situation, leaving me feeling helpless and frustrated.
I find it unfair that when others seek my help, I always respond, even if I don't know the answer, yet now people ignore me or don't respond at all.
I feel very uncomfortable in the lab.
In terms of my emotional life, there was a period when I resorted to self-pleasure almost daily because I felt deceived by several boys who added my contact information but never engaged in conversation again.
I felt neglected by them, and I also felt embarrassed about my age and lack of romantic experiences.
In late March, I attempted to obtain a certification outside my field but did not succeed.
I have thought of ways to cope, such as giving myself reasons not to marry.
Although I love children, I feel I must give that up because the boys I encounter do not value me and are too focused on appearances.
I have decided to pursue a Ph.D.
in a field I am interested in, specifically entrepreneurship, and plan my life around not getting married.
Initially, I wanted to pursue a doctorate, but I worried about my age and the ability to have children.
However, I now feel that no one is interested in me, so I might as well go for it.
I just need to pay off my student loans from my master's program first, as I have found several Ph.D.
programs that do not require recommendation letters.
In conclusion, I want to exercise to improve my mood, but I often feel judged when I do.
I think about going out for a walk, but I worry that if I don't conduct experiments, I won't graduate.
I feel like my life is a continuous struggle for growth, and things rarely go smoothly.
I wish I could be like everyone else, but I often find myself taking care of others while no one seems to care for me.

Shu Xiang, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/04/10

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, it seems that your interpersonal relationships are indeed quite challenging.
However, since relationships are built on continuous interactions, it is difficult to pinpoint whether the issue lies with us or with others.
You mentioned mostly unpleasant outcomes; perhaps it would be helpful to reflect on the process to identify any potential issues.
You might also consider consulting someone you believe to be fair and objective, who cares about us, and ask them for their insights and constructive feedback as an impartial observer.
Additionally, since you are asking questions in the psychiatry forum, I wonder if you have already consulted a psychiatrist or have any treatment records.
Following this line of thought, sometimes mental health issues can contribute to difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
The fundamental solution may be surprisingly simple: by improving the symptoms of the mental illness, social functioning can be restored, and these problems may be resolved.
Wishing you all the best.

Sincerely,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2016/04/10

More Info

Navigating the challenges of graduate school while dealing with mental health issues can be incredibly overwhelming, especially when compounded by interpersonal conflicts and academic pressures. Your situation reflects a common struggle faced by many students, particularly those transitioning from one field of study to another, as you have from management to a more technical science discipline.
Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge the feelings of frustration and helplessness you are experiencing. The pressure to perform academically, especially as you approach the end of your program, can lead to significant anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. The fact that you feel unsupported by your professors and peers only exacerbates these feelings. It’s crucial to remember that you are not alone in this; many students face similar challenges, and it’s okay to seek help.

Your experiences with the lab equipment and the subsequent blame placed on you can understandably lead to feelings of injustice. It’s important to communicate openly with your professors about your concerns. If they are dismissive or unhelpful, consider seeking support from a graduate advisor or a counselor at your institution. They can provide guidance on how to navigate these academic challenges and advocate for you if necessary.
In terms of your mental health, it’s vital to prioritize self-care. Engaging in physical activity, as you mentioned, can be a great way to alleviate stress. However, if you feel self-conscious about exercising in public, consider finding a private space to work out or joining a group where you might feel more comfortable. Exercise is not only beneficial for physical health but also for mental well-being, as it releases endorphins that can help improve your mood.

You also mentioned feelings of isolation and disappointment in your social interactions, particularly regarding romantic relationships. It’s understandable to feel disheartened when connections don’t develop as you hope. However, focusing on your personal goals, such as pursuing a PhD, can provide a sense of purpose and direction. It’s commendable that you are thinking about your future and considering paths that align with your interests and passions.

Regarding your academic concerns, if you feel that you are struggling with the material, consider forming study groups with classmates who might be more supportive. Sometimes, peer support can make a significant difference in understanding complex subjects. Additionally, don’t hesitate to reach out to academic resources available at your university, such as tutoring services or workshops that can help you improve your skills in areas where you feel less confident.

Lastly, it’s essential to address your feelings of being overwhelmed and the negative thoughts that accompany them. Cognitive-behavioral strategies can be beneficial in reframing negative thoughts and reducing anxiety. If you haven’t already, consider speaking with a mental health professional who can provide you with coping strategies tailored to your situation. Therapy can be a safe space to explore your feelings and develop skills to manage stress and anxiety effectively.

In summary, while the challenges you face are significant, there are steps you can take to improve your situation. Seek support from trusted individuals, prioritize self-care, and consider professional help if needed. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking proactive steps can lead to positive changes in your academic and personal life. You are capable of overcoming these obstacles, and with the right support and strategies, you can navigate this difficult time successfully.

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