Overcoming Self-Doubt: A Programmer's Journey Through Anxiety - Psychiatry

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It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and anxious after your experiences in your new job. Transitioning to a new workplace can be stressful, especially when you feel that your contributions are not being valued or understood. The feelings of self-doubt and anxiety you are experiencing are common among professionals in high-pressure environments, particularly in fields like programming where the work is often scrutinized and subject to criticism.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. Watching your hard work being altered or discarded can lead to a sense of helplessness and self-doubt. This can be exacerbated by the lack of clear communication from your colleagues, which can leave you feeling isolated and unsure of your abilities. The physical symptoms you mentioned, such as nausea, tinnitus, and insomnia, are often manifestations of anxiety and stress. It’s good that you have sought medical advice and are taking steps to address these symptoms.

Here are some strategies that may help you cope with your anxiety and self-doubt:
1. Seek Professional Support: Since you have already started medication, consider also seeking therapy or counseling. A mental health professional can help you work through your feelings of inadequacy and develop coping strategies. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety and can help you reframe negative thoughts about yourself.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: It’s easy to be hard on yourself, especially when you feel like you are not meeting expectations. Try to treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend in a similar situation. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that learning is part of the process.

3. Set Realistic Goals: Break your tasks into smaller, manageable goals. This can help you regain a sense of control and accomplishment. Celebrate small victories, even if they seem insignificant. This can help build your confidence over time.

4. Develop a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or colleagues who understand what you are going through. Sharing your experiences can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide you with different perspectives.

5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga into your daily routine. These practices can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall mental well-being.

6. Limit Exposure to Stressors: If possible, try to limit your exposure to situations that trigger your anxiety. This might mean setting boundaries with work or taking breaks when you feel overwhelmed.

7. Reflect on Your Achievements: Keep a journal where you can write about your accomplishments, positive feedback, and moments when you felt competent. This can serve as a reminder of your capabilities and help counteract negative thoughts.

8. Consider Future Opportunities: While it’s natural to feel apprehensive about future jobs, remember that each new position is a chance to learn and grow. Reflect on what you want in your next role and seek environments that align with your values and where you feel supported.

9. Gradual Exposure: If you are afraid of returning to work, consider starting with part-time or freelance projects to ease back into the programming environment. This can help you build confidence without overwhelming yourself.

10. Stay Informed: Educate yourself about anxiety and self-doubt. Understanding that these feelings are common and can be managed may help you feel less alone in your struggle.

In conclusion, overcoming self-doubt and anxiety is a journey that takes time and effort. It’s important to be patient with yourself as you navigate these feelings. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and you don’t have to face this alone. With the right support and strategies, you can regain your confidence and find fulfillment in your work as a programmer.