Finding Comfort in Solitude: Navigating Relationships and Mental Health - Psychiatry

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Going out to the mall with my parents doesn't mean I particularly enjoy it; in other words, I don't find joy in being around others.
Instead, I feel more comfortable being alone.
However, I do appreciate having family nearby, meaning it's enough for me to have someone living with me.
I usually don't spend time cultivating social relationships.
Occasionally, I might leave a comment on a post from a former classmate I see on Facebook, driven by curiosity from the photos, even if they don't respond, I don't feel disappointed because I don't prioritize this in my life.
I remember when I was 15, I often called a female classmate, but after we had a falling out, I stopped calling her.
Later, there were opportunities to meet, but I ultimately chose not to go.
After I was unemployed and bored, I called her again, but by then she had a boyfriend, so I stopped calling.
Therefore, even now, I feel like there's not much to lose in life, which sometimes makes my relationships with others feel quite superficial.
It seems like I have a carefree attitude, and perhaps that's why I remain unmarried.
My parents are also open-minded and don't pressure me to settle down.
However, whenever someone asks me if I'm married, I just smile and don't answer.
I know I have no desire to engage in typical social interactions.
Of course, there are times when I feel the need for someone to talk to, and my father has suggested this as well, but I also feel conflicted about it.

Wu, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/04/12

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello: You express your thoughts and judgments, but a person's ideas and values may change over time.
The key is to maintain mutual respect between individuals, which should help prevent significant issues.

Reply Date: 2016/04/12

More Info


Navigating relationships and mental health can be a complex journey, especially when one finds comfort in solitude while also grappling with societal expectations and personal desires. Your reflections on your relationships and feelings of contentment in solitude suggest a nuanced understanding of your emotional landscape.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that enjoying solitude does not inherently indicate a problem. Many people find peace and fulfillment in their own company. This preference can stem from various factors, including personality traits, past experiences, and current life circumstances. For instance, introverts often recharge by spending time alone, while extroverts may thrive in social settings. Your comfort in solitude, coupled with the presence of family, indicates a balanced approach to social interaction—valuing connection without feeling the need for constant engagement.

However, it’s also crucial to consider the potential implications of your relationship dynamics. You mentioned that you do not invest much time in cultivating friendships and that your connections feel "淡如水" (as light as water). This could be a protective mechanism, especially if past experiences, such as falling out with friends, have led to a reluctance to engage deeply with others. While it’s healthy to maintain boundaries, it’s also beneficial to reflect on whether this approach is fulfilling in the long term. Human beings are inherently social creatures, and meaningful connections can enhance emotional well-being.

Your experience with social media, such as seeing posts from former classmates, highlights a common phenomenon in today’s digital age. Social media can serve as a bridge to past relationships, but it can also create a sense of distance if interactions remain superficial. It’s perfectly normal to feel curious about others’ lives without the desire to engage deeply. However, if you find yourself longing for more substantial connections, it may be worth exploring ways to foster those relationships, even if they start small.

Regarding your feelings about marriage and societal expectations, it’s commendable that you have a clear understanding of your own desires. The pressure to conform to societal norms—such as marriage or career success—can be overwhelming. It’s essential to prioritize your happiness and well-being over external expectations. If you feel content with your current lifestyle, that is what matters most. However, if you ever feel a desire for companionship or deeper connections, consider exploring avenues that align with your interests, such as hobby groups, community events, or online platforms that cater to your passions.

In terms of mental health, it’s vital to remain attuned to your emotional state. Feelings of loneliness or disconnection can sometimes manifest in unexpected ways. If you ever find that your comfort in solitude shifts to feelings of isolation or sadness, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional. They can provide guidance on navigating these feelings and help you explore any underlying issues that may be influencing your perspective on relationships.

Lastly, it’s worth noting that relationships—whether familial, platonic, or romantic—can evolve over time. Being open to new experiences and connections, even if they feel daunting, can lead to personal growth and unexpected joy. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and remain open to the possibilities that life may present.

In conclusion, finding comfort in solitude while navigating relationships is a personal journey that requires introspection and balance. It’s essential to honor your feelings and preferences while remaining open to the potential for deeper connections. By doing so, you can cultivate a fulfilling life that aligns with your values and desires.

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